Jan

19

The Nightmare Revisited

Filed Under Life, Peace, Today's War, Trauma, War 

sad-vietnamese

By Janet J. Seahorn

Last year at this time, Tony and I were in Vietnam and Cambodia.  It was a humbling, yet inspiring excursion.  As Tony stated many times, he did not go there to heal or recreate the war. He wanted to visit, only to see how things had changed, with hopes that the people and the country were mending. 

By all outward appearances hope seemed to be occurring. Yet, what keep coming back to me, were the faces of the old women.  We did not see the same number of older men, perhaps because many of this age were killed in the war.  The women’s faces were not happy.  Their features lined with rivers of anger.  It was the eyes that held the emotions, and for many, their emotions were tortuous and hate-filled.  What haunts me now are the faces I glimpse in the newspapers of civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan; similar looks living in human bodies experiencing similar horrors of war.

As we continue to read of the escalation of suicides of returning military men and women, I wonder if such unforgettable faces are haunting them.  Faces of the enemy, faces of their comrades, faces of the children?  In the first few blogs of this New Year, I wrote of Peace.  Can it be attained in a person’s mind and heart after experiencing so much?  I very much want to believe such a peace is possible. For others, the hideous experiences continue to dig deeper ravines into the soul.  To heal, even a bit, these gorges must be filled in gradually. 

Perhaps not fully, but even building up the crevasses a little keeps one from falling into the yawning depths of depression, anxiety, and hopelessness.  As long as one can look up and see the sky, hope is present.  It is when one’s existence is swallowed in darkness that even the tiniest light is diminished.  Finding ways to keep the sunlight accessible for our returning vets will be the work of everyone: the nation, its people, families, friends, communities, and most importantly, the veteran.

We have troops leaving daily for the war zone, and others returning. A 2008 Rand Corporation study revealed that 300,000 troops who served in Iraq and Afghanistan had Post-Traumatic Stress, while 320,000 reported probable traumatic brain injuries. Both conditions greatly increase the likelihood of attempted suicide. “According to a Congressional Quarterly compilation in late November 2009, 334 active-duty military service men and women have taken their own lives in 2009” (Edward Pages, 2009: The Year of Soldier’s Suicide), and this does not include those military individuals who have been discharged.

Let us all be sure to look into these eyes of freedom and not dismiss the signs of their sacrifice.  Peace and healing is everyone’s work; everyone’s answerability.  As a nation, it must be our core mission to mend and heal all those that fought in lands where few of us ever think to venture. 

I doubt if many of our returning military personnel have rational thoughts of wanting to return to the combat zone. It took almost forty years for us to do so. 

One of our favorite veterans, Michael MacDonald, wrote us the other day relating his response to those who frequently ask him if he ever wants to return to Vietnam for a visit.  His reply, “Why, I was just there last night.” 

And, for many, this statement is all too true.  It is those nights without returning that we pray for in our sleep and dreams.  It is those nights without revisiting the nightmares that keep us healing.

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