Sep
14
Filed Under Bailey, Dog is God, Dogs, Hearing Loss, Heroes With Hearing Loss, Quilts of Valor, Service Dogs, Tears of a Warrior, Trauma, Trooper, War, War Dogs, Welcome Home | Comments Off on EYORE IS SMILING: WELCOMING TROOPER
by Janet J. Seahorn, PH.D
“Grief is the last act of love we have to give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief, there was great love.” It has been exactly six months and fourteen days since our service dog and beloved family companion, Bailey, died. We have written several pieces about our loss, but today is a time of rejoicing.
Two weeks ago, Tony, traveled to Boston to be introduced and train with his new hearing service dog, Trooper. He is a male, black Labrador. I could hear the lightness, the total joy in Tony’s voice the moment he first saw and touched Trooper. He was so concerned Trooper, perhaps, wouldn’t like him. Not to worry, they were instant friends. I’m pretty sure that Chase and Bailey had set things up from their perch in Heaven.
There will always be that crack in our hearts for those we have loved and lost. It will never go away, and truthfully, I don’t want it to be fully gone. The crack, the lump in the throat, the isolated tear drop in the eye, simply reminds me of how blessed, how immensely fortunate I am to have such amazing people and pets in my life. Each has given me a sense of joy, a gift of friendship, and a genuine endowment of love.
Today we begin a new journey of possibilities, of hope, and of unconditional love with Tony’s new service companion, Trooper. We look forward for the opportunity to spend our days with another special being. We look forward for another opportunity to open our hearts to this beautiful boy. We are excited to wake in the morning, move through the day, and say goodnight in the evening with Trooper by our sides.
Oh, and I think I told you that Trooper is trained for the hearing impaired. In the morning, when the alarm goes off, his job is to jump in the bed on top of Tony to wake him up. I’m not so sure I look forward to sixty pounds of enthusiasm that early in the day. And, yes, even Eyore is smiling.
Mar
28
Filed Under Bailey, Dog is God, Dogs, Family, Happiness, Heroes, Hope, Joy Challenge, Life, Love, Pets, PTSD, Service Dogs, Tears, Tears of a Warrior, Tears of Joy, Veterans, War Dogs, Wounded Veterans, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on Missing Bailey
By Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
Loss presents a unique and somewhat ambiguous dilemma for humans. Those left behind
are confronted with a stream of untapped emotions. Life lingers between two spaces – the space
of the past when everything was normal, and the space that floats somewhere between what was then
and what is now. The present doesn’t feel like the present because we don’t want to accept the
reality of what has been lost and what will be our daily routine as we struggle to get through the
minutes of each day. It’s like being stuck in quicksand; you continually struggle to find footing,
while being surrounded by uncontrollable emotions.
Your heart and mind are trapped. Facing the circumstances of the loss is agonizing, yet
you understand that staying in such a dark place will not honor the love and life of your beloved
4-legged family member nor is it healthy for the sufferer.
Rest for the moment is unattainable. Sleep comes with too many dreams that are both happy and sorrowful.
Laughter, joy, even hunger stands frozen.
Moving forward isn’t yet attainable. However, we know eventually we can travel beyond the
yesterdays and focus on the tomorrows.
Right now we don’t know how to do that. Still we are hopeful we will get there sooner or
later. Remaining stuck is not an option. It is too sad, too tumultuous. Most of all staying in such
deep grief does not nor will not allow us to celebrate and honor the amazing gift we were given
through Bailey.
He was our “Joy Boy”. He would want us to wake each morning with delight and be grateful for all that stands before us.
He would want us to continue to love, to celebrate the moment of throwing a bright green tennis ball or plunge into the lake for a marvelous swim.
He would want us to be fully alive enjoying the wonders of each day especially remembering the wet kisses of his long, sticky tongue.
He would want us to be his “joy” parents.
We promise we will get to that point, Bailey. Just not today.
Love,
Mom and Dad
Mar
11
Filed Under Aging, American Patriotism, Combat PTSD, Dog is God, Dogs, Happiness, Healing, Military, Pets, PTSD, Service Dogs, TBI & PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, Tribute, Veterans, War, War Dogs, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on Best Friends
Guest Blog by John DiCiacco
I dedicate my short story to all the Men and Women that came home from
war and discovered that the War and all its tragic memories came home
with them.
Did you ever wonder why God spelled backwards is Dog. I used to ponder
that thought a great deal, that is until I met my first Service Dog
Wyatt. Named him after Wyatt Earp. Wyatt was not a Registered Service
Dog you see and he didn’t go to School and get a Degree to be a Service
Dog. To me, though, Wyatt was much more than a Service Dog. He was my
Savior, my Salvation and he was given to me by God.
Wyatt came into my Life about Sixteen Years ago and until his death at
only Eleven he remained a Faithful Companion and Confident. As a
Vietnam Veteran living with PTS, Wyatt was my Soul Mate, so when he
crossed over, a part of me had died as well. Worse yet, many of the
emotions I felt when I came home in February 1970 was suddenly staring
me in the face. Guilt, abandonment, distrust and yes, even anger. I
threatened to crawl into the bottle again, that is until Wyatt showed up
in a vision and I remembered how good my life was with Wyatt Dog and
God.
I now have another service dog that ditched school altogether and
became home schooled just like his older brother, Wyatt. His name is
Mato, which means “Bear” in the Lakota Indian Language. The “Bear” has
recently turned five and yes, Mato has taken up the legacy of what Wyatt
had meant to me in the past and together we are making our own memories.
Did I mention that both Wyatt and Mato are labs and both of them are
black.
Life is good with God and Dog.
The following words come from a short tune I heard a while back and it
is dedicated to dogs.
“You are my Buddy, my Pal and my Friend, so wherever you go I just want
you to know you are my Buddy, my Pal and my Friend.”
In memory of another God/Dog, my beautiful nephew, Bailey. Bailey
crossed over this February and Bailey was the proud service dog to his
Buddy, Pal and fFriend, Tony. By the way, Bailey was also a black lab.
One of Gods Great Gifts.
God Bless You and God Bless America.
Feb
25
Filed Under Aging, American Patriotism, Bailey, Courage, Dog is God, Dogs, Family, Heroes, Love, Pets, PTSD, Service Dogs, Tears of a Warrior, Veterans, War Dogs, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on IN MEMORY OF HUNTER BAILEY
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
HUNTER BAILEY of FARGO
11/29/2006 – 02/23/2018
Hopefully you can bear with me for a bit. It will take several days and even more attempts to get
my thoughts and feelings down into some understandable form. As I try to write tonight through my
tears it has now been one day, seven hours and 47 minutes since we had to put our beloved lab and
service dog, Hunter Bailey, to sleep.
To say our hearts are broken and we are sad is too simplistic. We can’t put into words the entire impact of this loss.
It took us so suddenly. We had no time to prepare.
We took Bailey into the Colorado State Veterinary Hospital at 8 a.m. Friday morning, and left without
him later that afternoon.
For over six hours we sat and waited for some news on Bailey and his tests. It became evident
four hours later that something wasn’t quite right. We couldn’t get any updates and were told that the
doctors were still reviewing the tests. Finally, around 2:15 in the afternoon the doctors met with us. We
could tell by their faces something was wrong, but mostly Bailey wasn’t with them, which has never
happened on past exams.
Moving to a small room, we were told that Bailey had prostate cancer that had
moved through his entire body. Since he had been neutered as a young dog, this was highly unusual.
There was nothing they could do to stop it. The cancer had spread too far for any surgery and no
medications would be effective at this stage of development.
Our shock made it difficult to process or ask appropriate questions. The biggest ones were: “Is
he in pain?” Answer: “Yes.” “Can the pain be controlled/managed?” Answer: “Not well.” “How long
might he have?” Answer: “Maybe a month, two at best.” “Would there be quality of life?” Answer:
“Unlikely.” Other problems with clots and small tumors that could move or burst at any time made the
situation even worse.
Since, in only three short days Bailey began having difficulty walking and having
bowel movements it became clear the cancer had taken over his body and left him in severe pain and
physical distress. We had little choice but to do what was right for our cherished and loyal companion of
eleven years. The decision was beyond gut wrenching. We had no time to process what had happened,
what was happening, and what was the best and most humane course of action for Bailey.
We now live in a world somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow. We have put away his toys
and blankets. His feeding bowlshave left their space in the house to sit on cold, garage shelves. Sadly, we can’t seem to put away his
time schedule in our minds. Getting up in the morning, taking walks, evening feedings are still present.
Looking for him around the house, especially anytime we eat. These things will dim with time.
However, Bailey’s love, his joyous spirit, his devoted loyalty and desire to please, and most of all his
tender spirit will remain with us.
I think it truly is accurate to say, “GOD is DOG, and DOG certainly is GOD”. Thank you, Bailey, for being our precious four-legged child.
You are and forever will be loved and missed.
Apr
29
Filed Under American Patriotism, Bless Our Troops, Combat PTSD, Courage, Dogs, Military, Post-Traumatic Stress "Injury", PTSD, Service Dogs, Tears of a Warrior, Trauma, Veterans, War Dogs, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on Courage Revealed
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
It is easy to see what courage looks like. We observe it in the acts of those who, in spite of intense danger or inconceivable suffering, or endless determination, an individual continues to live on. To move forward. We see it in the movies where it makes us feel safe and in control in events we know we may never survive.
But what does courage sound like? Does it reveal itself in words, in songs, in other types of media? Perhaps real courage sounds like Silence. The silence of grief that cannot be expressed in words. The silence of a heart being shattered. The silence of hidden tears and silent screams.
And what does courage feel like? It may be different for every person, yet, individually it contains some singular similarities. Our feelings, much like hearing, is silent beyond ourselves. Emotions, an element of feelings, come at anytime, day or night. It cannot be quantified, perhaps because we may not be able to find a beginning or end in its infinitesimal existence. You see, feelings go beyond emotions. They are deeper, often jumbled together with anger, love, gratitude and sadness. We feel what we feel. Attempting to put feelings into words can be exhausting, exasperating, and mostly ineffective.
Courage, like feelings and hearing is also Silent. It is very much present. There is both a sweetness and bitterness in courage. The sweetness of living through a reality that many may never experience. The bitterness resulting from that very same experience. It is not about the “why me”, “how come”, or “what ifs” of suffering. Simply having the courage to accept the experience for what it is— an experience that changes a person from the before to the now – and beyond.
We spend too much time trying to define/identify courage. Most results are superficial at best. For if, as I believe, courage is found only in the Silence… the empty spaces between the noise and what is seen, heard, and felt. We often miss or mistakenly identify courage. Its potential seed lives in most of us, yet, it can only be germinated when or if the time presents itself. For some of you reading this piece may think, “What the heck is she rambling about?” For others, those who have lived the courage, you may only nod your head and silently say “true”.
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