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by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

           

         

The day was wet and overcast.

 

 

Upon arriving at the VA Hospital in Denver, we noticed how many patients seemed to be waiting for a bus or a taxi. Tony didn’t appear overly eager to walk into the building. Just looking at the entrance from the outside made him nervous. Walking inside was even worse. Almost forty years ago, this was the place he went to get help for the nightmares and panic attacks he was experiencing after returning from Vietnam. A young therapist at the time, untrained and unskilled in working with military personnel thoughtlessly told him to be grateful he made it home, and get on with his life. For thirty years, Tony never went back there… or anywhere else for assistance.

 

            Thank goodness we now have a verifiable diagnosis of these frightening memories; it is PTSD, and veteran centers across America are far more proficient in caring and supporting our wounded troops. Nevertheless, Tony had not been back to the Denver VA Hospital until Monday. We were going to talk with troops in the PTSD Unit of the hospital. This is a seven week program where vets get intensive counseling and treatment for their combat traumas. Today there are nineteen men attending the afternoon discussion. Humility can’t quite describe what we feel when we do such meetings.

 

          The majority of the vets were from the Vietnam era with the remaining members from Iraq and Afghanistan. I am pretty sure most people have little understanding of how much suffering each patient has survived; years of torment and silent screams. Each face revealed a unique map of torment. It appeared that every wrinkle held its own story, its own remembrance.  Yet, it was the younger warriors who made the most emotional impact. Perhaps this was because they reminded us of our sons. Or perhaps, we were too familiar with the pain they were experiencing and the long journey still ahead. Youthful faces were not yet lined with creases, though their eyes held an even deeper look of anguish. Yesterday’s combat field was not that far from today’s reality. Time had not yet put any distance from the rawness of war. Where several Vietnam vets were willing to talk, the young fighters stayed silent.

 

            At the end of the afternoon, one young marine told me how difficult it was for his mother to understand what was happening to him. He talked about how she just kept saying, “Why don’t you just get better? Why aren’t you back to your old self? You weren’t wounded, what is the matter with you?” and then he said sadly, “she told me, why can’t you just take a pill and be OK?” Then he quietly stated, “I’m trying’ I’m really trying, but I just can’t seem to forget, no matter how hard I try.”

 

            It was heartbreaking to watch him describe his situation. First he endured the many horrors of combat. When he came home, he had to endure the unawareness of the “ordinary” people.

 

            Next, there was the tall, thin youth who sat shifting in his chair seeking a more comfortable position. His back pain was obvious, especially when he cautiously walked bracing his weight with his cane. The sweetest, shyest smile spread over his face as he approached. What he requested was an extra copy of our book, Tears of a Warrior. He wanted to send it to his wife, hoping she might read it before he returned home from the hospital. Perhaps she would gain a better understanding of his condition. Perhaps, by understanding, she would be able to bear the years ahead. Perhaps together they might make it though the dark times still to be faced.

 

            More than ever, I am touched by the courage the young and the old veterans demonstrate.  A valor that leads them forwarded searching for a small bit of peace. By making that huge leap of faith to enter this seven week program, they lay bare their demons, hoping by exposure to the light these may leave, or at least become less frightening. For most, I believe this will be true.

 

            Like in combat, sometimes to survive, one must rush towards the enemy fighting with every ounce of power he/she possesses.  Healing requires that same force of power – rushing towards the demons, lets them know you no longer will run from them. When the hiding ends the healing begins.

 

Have a healthy and Happy Thanksgiving.

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

                            

Did you Know:

·       

     Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in America.  Every year it takes more lives than auto accidents.

·        Suicide impacts kids as young as five and as old as ninety-five.

·        The rate of suicide in the armed forces continues to grow with each deployment.

·        Current statistics show an active-duty suicide every 36 hours – 18 veterans a day dies by their own hand (Lily Casura, Napa Valley Register, 9/19/2010).

·        Women vets are two – three times more likely to commit suicide than non-veteran women (American Psychiatric Association)

·        Suicide is more than an emotional state; it is a physical condition as well.

·        Depression is treatable… suicide is not —– the final step has already been taken.

 

            Combat is an unhealthy enough challenge.  Yet, when a veteran returns home, the struggle may be even worse. Worse because there are fewer people to talk to who understand what he/she has gone through. Worse because during combat one didn’t always have time to think about the horrors of war; now at home, there is often too much time to think. And worse, because depression of any kind is a hidden desperado that becomes a very real physical condition, few understand and address the issue.

 

            In so many cultures, including American, we have been led to believe that depression is something that is strictly emotional.  Something that we can easily get over if we just put our “minds” to it.  It invades every cell of the body. It steals the good hormones such as serotonin, endorphins, dopamine… and replaces them with a whopping dose of cortisol – one of the stress hormones that cause fight, flight, or freeze.  Unfortunately for many, the way one may must fight or fight depression is suicide.

 

            One reason this issue is so important to me is it hits close to home. In the city of Fort Collins, Colorado, suicide has already been the cause of over 39 deaths this year – far more than those who die in traffic accidents. One of those statistics was a close friend of a student in my university class. Imagine sitting in class and getting a text message stating your close friend has taken her life. When I was teaching middle school many years ago, a wonderful young man decided to end his life before he ever had a chance to begin his life. His parents were certain their child’s death was an accident, even though evidence indicate the young man made three different attempts at ending his life before one finally worked.

 

            It is important we all know more about this topic, Suicide. Like any enemy, the more we know about our opponent, the better we can fight the battle and win. So I’ll end with one of my favorite quotes by Emily Dickinson, “Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.”  Try to keep opening new doors; sunshine is waiting behind one of them.

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

 

            It is obvious that living with PTSD is a challenging journey. We hear so much about what doesn’t work, I wanted to take this time to talk about what does. The media seems ready to publicize the ugly side of trauma, yet it fails to show the other face of the family story – the good side. What those of us who have and are still learning from the PTSD experience, is the fact that the unpredictability of the memories and behaviors are what makes the struggle so darn difficult.

 

            So what does work? 1). Listening. Gosh, this is something few people do very well, including those who don’t have to live with PTSD. 2). Sharing. Sharing what is needed for others to recognize where each member of the family stands. Sharing doesn’t mean spilling every tiny detail of your existence, only the things that are required for understanding. 3). Problem Solving. One person is rarely the only source of a family conflict. The biggest trick to effective problem solving is to spend 10% of time defining and discussing the problem and 90% of the time working it out. For many of us, we often do just the opposite. Last, and probably the most important, is the deep desire to get better and be better. No excuses. No blaming; just a lot of personal and joint effort.

 

If we pay close attention to what is working, as well as what isn’t, we may be able to replicate those positive moments. Focus on duplicating what we are doing right. Even if these strategies don’t work all the time, for most of the daily living together, it may be “good enough”.  And right now, I’ll take that as personal success.

by Janet J. Seahorn

     

Every day there are more and more wounded victims of war. These are the spouses, the children, the parents, the sisters and brothers of the veteran… and the list grows. It is one reason that we continually urge those impacted by serving in a war zone to get help as soon as possible if they begin to feel the “fall out” effects of combat.

 

              There are centuries of evidence that prove this point. When a person returns from a traumatic experience and normal life is no longer normal, those around will become part of the trauma. It is an obvious statement, yet, there are too many veterans and families that refuse to acknowledge and deal with the situation.

 

            It is like having an elephant in the room that no one wants to recognize or admit is there. The unrealistic thinking goes something like this… “If I just ignore the large problem, it will eventually go away”.  The only problem with the problem is that it does not go away, in fact, it often grows bigger and bigger. And it begins to become more active. Imagine having a raging elephant in the room charging around with its large tusk and huge trunk. Wow, and I haven’t even mentioned all the crap it leaves lying around. It feeds on everything in sight, so eventually your house is a mess and you don’t have a safe place to hide from the growing beast.

 

            Human nature seeks coherence and peace, even in the most chaotic of times. It is always looking for that which is safe and enjoyable. It craves stability and excitement, joy and delight. When these are absent for long periods of time, it is easy for depression and hopelessness to set in. You see, if someone you deeply care about is not OK, then it is quite challenging for you to be OK. And if both of us are not OK, then WE, as a couple, a family, a relationship, are not OK! Herein lies the hard choice — you can either accept the “crap” and continue on the path you may currently be on, or you can make another choice. A choice that can lead to healing. A choice that may allow the relationship to be more positive and loving. A choice that begins to do something about THAT elephant in the room.

 

            Either way, we all choose which way we will continue our journey. Whatever choice we make will not be an easy path. However, one definitely has more constructive possibilities than the other. We persistently mention that if children are involved, than getting the elephant out of the room is crucial to their well-being and healthy development. As adults, we make our own choices, but children are subject to the outcomes of our choices. More than likely, they don’t get to have a voice; they are the helpless victims of our selection, good and bad. Therefore, think deeply about what you are and are not doing. Your children’s lives depend on which options you make.

 

            For some of us, we didn’t have the information about PTSD, TBIs (Traumatic Brain Injuries), and other impacts of war. We did the best we could; at least, we want to hope we did. New military personnel have better information. They can and must make better choices, if not for themselves, for their children and the future of our next generation. Healthy life truly depends on this choice.

 

By Janet J. Seahorn

When is it time to seek outside help?

This is pretty easy to answer: You will know if it is time to seek outside help when the behavior of the serviceperson becomes abnormally un-normal.  When life becomes a teeter-totter of ups and downs that can’t seem to be controlled no matter how hard you try. When your surroundings and relationships seem unstable and unsafe and you aren’t sure why, get help.

When my husband began experiencing PTSD, neither one of us had a clue what was going on at the time. There was no such thing as Post-Traumatic Stress. War was something that a person went to, came home from and tried to move on. It wasn’t discussed. It wasn’t thought about (or so we once thought and wanted to believe).

No one considered how the events of combat could impact an individual for the rest of his life. If you came home somewhat physically whole, that was a gift. You healed physically, and you lived as if all the horror from battle never happened. The past was the past and it should not impact one’s future. What an absurd assumption. 

Now we understand that nothing in our past is ever fully in the past. The good and the difficult follow us wherever we go. We are part of our experiences. With understanding, courage, and information we may gain strength and wisdom to move forward. Getting outside help can guide us in forming the wisdom and understanding needed for healing.

What are some good resources for help with PTSD or TBI?

There are many resources available to our military service men and women. Check with your local Veteran’s Administration Center if you suspect you need support. You may need to be referred to a Veteran Hospital for further testing and diagnosis, especially if you suspect a traumatic brain injury. Every state has several local centers that have been established to help veterans find the appropriate placement and support needed to get the services they may require. (VA Centers are listed in our book)

Don’t stop at NO if you are convinced you have something wrong that necessitates some form of treatment. Sometimes all you need is that one special person who can take your situation seriously enough to get help. Our family personally saw this happen with my brother.  He was extremely wary of anyone associated with the government. As a Vietnam vet, his mistrust of a broken, ineffective system made him reluctant to seek help from a military or veteran organization of any kind. Once he decided to seek services he ran into several brick walls. Yet, he kept trying, until he finally found a former army sergeant who took his situation seriously and made things happen.

It only took one person to make a difference. Don’t’ give up or give in to frustration. Keep going. Help is available, but sometimes you may have to fight for it just like you did in battle.  If you did it then, you can do it now.

In ending, we want to thank you and your loved ones for your service and sacrifice. You have made a difference that few will understand, or perhaps fully appreciate. Nevertheless, please recognize the depth of your courage, strength and warrior spirit. These are the attributes that sustained you through combat, and now they will do so again in moving you towards healing and a better life.

by Janet J. Seahorn

How do we mend a wounded body or soul?  How do we take a step forward in healing a spirit that has been battered by the trauma of battle? One possibility is to introduce the wounded warrior to a place of cooling waters, a place where fish are abundant and one can float through the waters which hum a soothing lullaby of serenity. Project Healing Waters is a volunteer organization that is dedicated to supporting the mending process of military personnel and veterans who have been impacted by the effects of combat. And it uses waters and fly fishing to achieve its mission.

            The idea originated when its founder, Ed Nicholson, a veteran of previous war, was himself being treated at Walter Reed Medical Center in Washington D.C. when he noticed a number of young warriors sitting idly in the waiting room. Ed decided to invite several to go fishing with him. On that first excursion, he discovered how this simple fishing experience made a huge difference both physically and emotionally with the young vets. Where eyes were once vacant, there was now a light of excitement; where physical energy was almost stagnate, a resurgence of vigor returned; and where a life seemed consumed by pain and hopelessness, Mother Nature breathed her message of rebirth and Trust into the mind, heart, body, and soul of the wounded warrior.

            Ironically, the Healing Waters Foundation has found that the greatest challenge is getting Wounded Warriors to the program. Recruitment is a huge obstacle, partly because of the physical and emotional needs of the individuals, and partly because of the legal ramifications of the vet centers/hospital treating the individuals. Gosh, I never imagined the number of logistical barriers faced by organizations wanting to help make a difference.

            Project Healing Waters tries to work through a VA therapist to identify prospective participants. By having a solid system in place, both the support organization and the VA centers can offer a clearer, more holistic approach to healing. The intervention received by the vet can then be measured and assessed as to what works best and why. This knowledge can then be shared with other VA centers and hospitals across the United States.

            Ancient cultures have long understood that wounds of the body and soul need a holistic approach for healing to occur. Medications, cognitive therapies, surgeries simply aren’t enough.  Where medications have some difficult side effects, nature offers only blessings. Where daily life often brings disorder, there is an order in nature – a way in which all things seem divinely connected from a single rain drop to a flowering mountain meadow. Where days feel misaligned, nature realigns the soul and spirit, letting us knows that all is as it should be. And where our day- by-day activities may seem bounded by the constraints of “to do lists”, nature chants a song of freedom, encouraging us to spread our wings and soar – even if these wings feel shattered.

            So, if you are a disabled vet, knock down the door of your local VA center or hospital and request that your medical personnel get you aligned with a volunteer from Healing Waters. This can also be a breathtaking opportunity for you and your family.

            Healing Waters volunteers serve as mentors and companions to our country’s wounded warriors. Their mission is uncomplicated – it is merely about healing and mending minds, bodies, and spirits – one unhurried cast at a time – one soothing river somewhere in America. Casting, Healing. Casting, Healing. Casting, Healing, and the wounds begin to slowly mend.

 

HEALING WATERS

My soul was battered by combat’s horrors,

So I went to the water to heal.

Wounds covered by flesh with war torn scars,

I went to the water to heal.

My heart was broken unable to feel,

I went to the water to heal.

 

And the water murmured softly–

Be at peace my precious son

Your soul is safe,

Your battles are done.

My waters shall cool and soothe your weary heart,

You came to me

Your healing can now start.

 

Not knowing where to turn for comfort or for calm,

I went to the water to heal.

The deafening clatter of ghosts from the past,

I went to the water to heal.

The strain of the city made my sanity reel,

I went to the water to heal.

 

And the water murmured softly

Sit beside me and be still,

Listen to my tranquil song

Let your soul be filled.

My waters shall comfort your torn and tattered soul.

You came to me

I will purge you of your foes.

 

For sacred, healing waters

are not new to any man,

They’ve been around a long time

Lapping shores of golden sand.

Silently restoring with their tender, gentle hands

A Life to kinder being

Healing water shall command.

by Janet J. Seahorn

Question 4:  If I, as a serviceperson, have PTSD, how can I help myself?

First, be honest with yourself.  As stated in the last question, do not ignore the signs that you are suffering from serving in combat.  Do not pretend that things are fine; that the problem lies with everyone around you such as your spouse, children, neighbors, family, or co-workers.  Watch for signs such as increased anger, irritability, depression, and/or isolation from normal family events. Resisting the feelings associated with PTSD only exacerbates the problem. The best thing you can do if you think something is not normal is to visit your Veteran’s Center as soon as possible.  These centers have become much more proficient in serving the military population’s needs than they were during past conflicts.  Physicians and therapists now recognize and understand in better detail the effects of PTSD and how to treat it.  Don’t wait.  Help is available.  The sooner you get assistance, the sooner your life will begin to move forward in a manner that allows you to live more fully.  You deserve to be at peace, to be happy and so does your family.  You and your loved ones have given enough in serving your country.  Now it is time that your country does something for you.  Help is waiting; don’t wait another minute to get it.  Life is too precious to be wasted fighting demons from the past. Today is the only thing you have that will make a difference for tomorrow.  So use today wisely to gain understanding, healing, and perhaps some peace of mind and spirit.

Other suggestions include spending time outdoors. Nature offers us a tremendous healing environment, especially for emotional wounds. We find hiking, fishing, skiing, and simply just being in the wilderness soothes much of our anxieties and internal tensions. Pets are also a therapeutic comfort. A great deal of research has been conducted that has shown the positive impact animals have on a person’s well being. Because our pets love us unconditionally, are non-judgmental, and provide a sense of safety and security, they are one of the very best options for keeping us sane and healthier both physically and emotionally. A few additional suggestions that we have found quite beneficial are meditation, aroma therapy (no kidding J), body massage, and heavy doses of laughter. Humor is a terrific medication since it is almost impossible to be angry and laughing at the same time. It releases endorphins that alleviate body pain, and provides a huge dose of oxygen to the brain and muscles.

Question 5:  What can I, as a family member, do to help someone with PTSD or a TBI?

There can be a major difference between a person suffering from PTSD and someone who has incurred a TBI (traumatic brain injury).  A TBI is a physical injury to the brain, where PTSD is more a reordering of the neuro networks in the brain.  Many times a person with a TBI may also have some form of PTSD, mainly because he/she was in a situation that caused physical and emotional damage to the individual and/or others in the company.  As with all illness and trauma, the more informed you become the better you are at making appropriate decisions in handling the circumstances. Illness and problems must first begin with immediate recognition that something is not quite right. The sooner you recognize the signs of PTSD, the sooner you can begin the healing process.  Once again, it is dangerous to ignore the obvious and pretend things will get better with time. Too often, this does not happen by itself.  Time can make behaviors and tensions more precarious, destroying personal relationships and family cohesion. No one benefits by waiting. Spouses get tired of walking through the “mindfields” of the traumatized serviceperson.  Children suffer because they can’t and don’t’ understand why mommy or daddy are not always the same kind; loving parents they were before war. 

When a family member returns from combat with PTSD, everyone close to him must join together to offer support, hope, and comfort.  In doing so, however, you must set suitable boundaries that will keep the family safe and well-balanced.  If children are involved, they must be at the forefront of your concern.  Their physical and emotional well-being is of utmost important.  Living with a parent who has untreated PTSD can have long-term, negative consequences on a developing child.  Getting immediate treatment for your spouse and yourself will be the best line of defense in moving towards the life you want to live and the family unit you want to be.

Several weeks ago we were ask to respond to a set of questions regarding Post-Traumatic Stress and combat vets.  These responses will be used in a short pamphlet/flip book that will be distributed through another organization.  We thought many of our readers might find the questions and our feedback useful.  Today’s blog is the first of our five part series. (Part 1 of 5)

•1.      How do I know if my serviceperson might be suffering from PTSD?  (Symptoms, possibly)

This is a great question with a not so simple answer. Not every person who returns from serving in a war zone ends up with Post-Traumatic Stress. A great deal depends on the amount of time the person spent serving under combat conditions, as well as how many traumatic events occurred during his/her deployment. Most doctors and researchers agree that the more time spent away form home, and the more distressing events experienced during each deployment, the greater the likelihood the person may experience some form of PTSD. If the individual was already predisposed to stressful home or environmental factors before joining the military, PTSD may become even more prevalent. There is no simple formula for why one person develops PTSD while others seem OK.  But one thing is certain; it has nothing to do with a lack of strength, courage, or character.  Sometimes it is simply the hazard of war due to exposure to unspeakable traumatic events, often in life and death situations.

So what signs might you look for when suspecting someone has PTSD? Since the brain is restructured by every act it experiences, it is sensitive to many good and not so good events.  Love, hate, prejudice, kindness, and violence are just a few life experiences. Yet, when the life-threatening events occur over and over again for a long duration of time, or even during one incredibly horrifying event, the mind/brain is seared with the image and emotional feelings become imprinted.

Signs/Characteristics of PTSD:

• ð Hyperarousal and abnormal startle responses
• ð Irritability and/or jumpiness; constantly on guard
• ð Hypervigilance
• ð Nightmares, insomnia, and night sweats
• ð Recurrent traumatic memories or flashbacks
• ð Overwhelming waves of emotions
• ð Survivor guilt
• ð Feeling detached and/or emotionally withdrawn from others
• ð Fragmented sense of self and identity
• ð Panic attacks
• ð Shame
• ð Despair
• ð Lethargic or lack of motivation/interest in life, work, and family
• ð Avoidance of common places, activities
• ð Memory and concentration problems
• ð Sadness and hopelessness about the future

The key here is that a person generally does not have ALL of these symptoms at once.  Some come more often than others.  One person may have numerous panic attacks, while another may want to isolate himself and not take part in normal daily and family activities.  It is the severity and frequency of the symptoms that would suggest a diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress.

by Janet J. Seahorn

“Out of the Darkness, into the Light”. These short seven words explain unmistakably the effects of healing the wounds of PTSD. While reading my daily inspirational “quotes”, I came across this one. We see and hear it often in religious sermons. For the many whose lives have been relentlessly challenged by life’s experiences and survived only by the grace of a higher power or some special intervention, we have an intimate understanding of going from darkness to light. 

Sometimes we may reflect on how exactly we got to a “lighter” place:  lighter by the brilliance of radiance in our days, lighter in our spirits that carry a heavy burden, unseen, unfelt, and often times misunderstood, and lighter in our physical bodies that endured the trauma from our past. 

The answer to how we got to the light may not be as important as the blessing, we are here. In reality, we don’t remain in this space of lightness every moment. Yet, when we experience these twinkles of happiness, we feel a profound sense of peace. A peace that lets us know we are not alone in our battles. A peace that validates we are loved and cared for during our conflicts. A peace that leaves us with the hope that when we are thrown back into the abyss, we CAN and WILL be able to climb back up to the light. Just trusting this inner knowing is what gets us through the dark days and nights. It is what enables us to wake each morning with new expectations for the day.  Without such trust it would be impossible to continue the journey, for the path is too unpredictable.

Healing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is built on the trust that through inner strength and outer resources we can not only survive and mend, we can thrive. Trauma can cause immense changes in our brains and bodies. It is not merely a matter of  ‘sucking it up’  that will move us toward better physical and emotional health; it is taking action to get that help needed for healing. For most physical illnesses this is obvious. If one has a life-threatening disease, he/she would get outside, professional help. She would endure the devastating effects of chemo and radiation to survive. He would go through open heart surgery to repair the damaged organ expecting months of rehabilitation and physical therapy. However, with emotional trauma, some in society still seem to attach a stigma.  The only weapon for dissolving the stigma is knowledge. And the only way knowledge blossoms is through openness, education, and courage. 

You see it will take each of us to continue to share our insights with others. Truthfully, it is far easier to remain silent, hiding our wounds from the eyes of world. Yet, knowledge does not grow in such darkness. It requires light, nourishment, and valor. So it is up to each of us to contribute to the understanding of PTSD and how one can move “out of the darkness, into the light.”

Blessings and continue mending.

by Janet J. Seahorn

Look into the face of your loving four-legged pet, and I would bet you would see the eyes of GOD.  A being so unconditionally loving and faithful, that nothing or no one could keep it from being near our sides.  We have written several times about the value of pets.  For someone living with Posttraumatic Stress or a serious Traumatic Brain Injury, pets can offer a sense of comfort and well-being that are beyond modern medications; and the side effects are far more positive.

 We get many comments and videos from our readers testifying to the upbeat effects their pets have had on them.  This week a friend sent us a one we had not seen before.  We thought many of you would enjoy viewing this short and touching piece.  We also included another written story that has appeared over the internet on many occasions.  More than likely, most of you have read it, but every time I see it, and am tempted to delete without reading… something pulls me to the picture and I begin viewing it once more, ending always with tear filled Kleenexes. 

You see, this last piece is a true chronicle of what many of our service people and their loving pets sacrifice for our country.  Not everyone understands that pets pay a high price for their masters’ deployment.  Yet, they do, silently, patiently waiting for that one special person to return.  There is no greater joy than the homecoming of a beloved member of a family. 

So here is to DOG and to GOD:  D = Devotion;   O = Omnipresent;   G = Goodness/Gift; in any order it means the same thing.

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