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Dec
5
THE VA BENEFITS ROLLER COASTER
Filed Under Tears of a Warrior, Veteran Benefits, Veterans | Comments Off on THE VA BENEFITS ROLLER COASTER
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
Holy Smokes! My brain is reeling like an out of control roller coaster. You know the experience, the climbing to the top of the coaster mountain knowing it is going to plummet to the bottom once there. At times it feels stimulating, and then there’s the “I think I am going to lose my stomach” sensation. Well, this scenario somewhat describes how I left after listening for two hours to a presentation on VA benefits. I went with Tony to learn more about how best to negotiate the system and the process. Honestly, it was quite interesting, although, I must admit, I didn’t understand everything the speaker was telling the audience, nor could I keep up with all the “do this not that”, “go here, not there”, “know this exception or else”. Yikes, no wonder many of our veterans and their families get confused. It truly takes an expert in the organization to help lead you successfully through the government maze of regulations.
Following are a few items I gleaned from the session that perhaps some of our readers will find helpful. Keep in mind that the VA is concerned with treating the whole person where other government organizations are mainly focused on the medical issues.
- 1. First, whether you like it or not you will need to have and be somewhat comfortable using a computer since all forms and many interactions are now on-line. If you are one of those who are somewhat computer illiterate, grab a friend or family member to help with the process. A few websites that can be very useful: www.Ebenefits.va.gov (this site gives you access to your vet information) www.Healthmil/PDBR (this is the site for getting the process underway to leave the military).
- 2. Something many veterans do not know is that they are eligible for problems that occur as a result of their major injury or condition. These are called “Secondary Problems“.
- 3. For new vets leaving the military, some States have places were individuals can go and get all of their needs, benefits, sign-up forms, and medical tests done in one setting. Not only does this speed up the process, it cuts down on the frustration of visiting several places over a span of several weeks.
- 4. As you put in for your benefits, understand that it takes a minimum of ten days to be processed before the information shows up on the Ebenifits website, and this only occurs if the VA has all of the needed medical records.
- 5. Now this leads us to getting those medical records…Go and Get Them YOURSELF. If you rely on your doctor’s office sending this information to the VA once it is requested, you may be waiting as long as six months before they get around to sending it. This is not the VA’s fault. Since doctors offices do not get reimbursed for doing this task, some are not very eager to move it forward in a timely manner.
- 6. Understand that once your benefits begin, the government will send your funds to your bank using Direct Deposit. If you don’t have a bank, they will send you a debit card. There will no longer be any CHECKS written to an individual. Understand it is YOUR responsibility to give the VA the correct bank routing number or account number, or address. If you move and forget to send them you new address, you will probably have trouble getting your funds. If your benefits begin on Feb. 1st, your first funds will come through until March 1st. Many organizations work on this type of a timeline.
- 7. If you were a Marine stationed at Camp Lejeune (www.lejeune.usmc.mil) before 1986, immediately go to their website to obtain information on filing a claim regarding medical conditions stemming from a toxic waste situation in the area. This also applies to our current vets who served in Balaud, Iraq where it was common practice to burn their waste, including plastic water bottles. The results of being exposed to the toxic smoke can cause colon cancer, lymphoma, respiratory problems… Down the road similar consequences may come from exposure to the sands in Iraq and Afghanistan.
- 8. Also, did you know that many of our veterans are eligible for a VA home loan that may be far better than those offered by the FHA. This was an AHA for us. Check out www.homeloans.va.gov or www.hopenow.comwebsites or call the Homeownership Preservation Foundation at 1-888-995-HOPE (4673).
- 9. And last, it is very important that every veteran is aware of the processes for filing a claim, receiving benefits, etc. Be sure to read EVERY piece of information or mail that comes to you. Don’t put it aside and think you will get back to it later. Read it immediately. Answer any and all phone calls from your VA centers as soon as possible. And be persistent as long as you take responsibility for what you need to do to help process your claims and benefits.
After listening to so much information and needing a Tylenol or Latte badly, I came to the following conclusions:
One – every vet needs to take the appropriate responsibility for getting his needs met. Blaming won’t get the job done; being proactive has a better chance of success.
Two – and please don’t scoff at this because I am sometimes tempted to do so, try to believe in the VA’s motto, “Grant if you can, only deny if you have to”. If you feel the person you are working with isn’t doing enough, ask for someone else to assist you. Often times getting a fresh pair of eyes and ears can make a huge difference. What I saw and heard today confirmed that there are many individuals in the VA organization who are incredibly dedicated to making a difference to our country’s veterans. We know of many and are grateful for their efforts.
Good Luck and take your patience pills – dealing with any huge organization, especially the government will require an abundance of endurance.
Nov
23
WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS…
Filed Under Christmas, Family, Holiday Season, Tears of a Warrior | Comments Off on WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS…
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
It is time to begin a new Holiday Season. Dang, some stores started playing their carols, displaying Christmas ornaments, and advertising the grandness of spending oneself into shopping debt even before Halloween! I truly expected someone dressed as a reindeer or elf to ring my doorbell for trick or treat.
Now, don’t get me wrong I love Christmas. Really! It is my favorite holiday. Almost everything about it is a special time filled with amazing sights, fragrant smells of evergreen trees, bells, carols, and my list goes on and on. I even enjoy buying a few gifts for family and friends, and I make sure that Tony NEVER accompanies me on these shopping excursions. The Grinch is one of his Christmas heroes which, as you can imagine, puts a huge damper on my jolly shopping expeditions.
Therefore, as we begin this new 2011 Holiday Season, I thought I would put down a few ideas of how to survive the coming days.
- Begin your new Weight Watchers diet. Watch others eat less and lose while you wait and enjoy every morsel of goodies you can grab. As military veterans, you had far too many C-Rations or MREs to endure food rations now.
- Don’t start off on the wrong foot at Thanksgiving, give away leftover turkey and celery to guests, but keep the pumpkin pie at all cost.
- If you have to ask for seconds, you are already sitting at the wrong table.
- If you are the wife of an anti-shopping Grinch, pray for them daily. We’re still a month until Christmas. You can even offer to share your Prozac if they become overly anxious during this joyous (hectic) time of year.
- If you are the Grinch, breath deep, meditate, and appreciate that the Holiday season only comes once a year, even if it seems to be coming earlier each year.
- And, last, if you are worried about excessive shopping and overspending, the banks don’t seem to care if anyone follows a budget anymore, so I’m sure they will extend your credit for say, the next thirty years.
Seriously, I definitely understand the challenges of trying to negotiate the many pitfalls and stimulations of the Holidays and not just for veterans. For many, it is never an easy time of year, which is the reason why I decided to begin this season’s blog with a bit of humor. Some of us are going to need to store up as much hilarity as possible if we are to survive the absurdity ahead.
You see, I am really, really, really trying to stay on Santa’s “Nice” list.
Nov
14
FROM A DREAM TO REALITY
Filed Under American Patriotism, Events, Healing, Tears of a Warrior, Veteran's Day, Veterans Plaza | Comments Off on FROM A DREAM TO REALITY
by Tony & Janet Seahorn
It is Sunday afternoon, and the end of a long and humbling Veteran’s Day week. The weather changes quickly from wind, to clouds, to warm sunshine and finally a few drizzles. It seems to be mirroring the lives of many of the individuals attending the opening dedication of the Northern Colorado Veteran’s Plaza. Most of the attendees are veterans spanning several generations of war. They, like the day’s weather, have lived with the clouds of battle, the warmth of joy, and at times a torrent of tears.
Those tears were the beginning of the dedication. The bridge which transports people from the main roadway into the park, now home to the new Veteran’s Plaza, was consecrated as Sergeant Nick Walsh Way. Sergeant Walsh died in Iraq in 2007. His parents, family, and fellow Marines watched as the new signage was unveiled; it was evident that the Price of Freedom has to be incredibly steep for those who serve along with their families who sacrifice along with them. Perhaps the bridge will serve as a reminder of hope – a transition from sorrow to comfort and from death to strength.
The Veteran’s Plaza is not a memorial to those who died. No, this sacred ground extends far beyond a loss. The Plaza will serve as a reminder of unselfish sacrifice and courage. It is a place where present and future generations can go to reflect on the courage of others and learn from their past. The garden is filled with soils from battlegrounds throughout our history: Iwo Jima, Normandy, Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan… This special earth, once stained from the carnage of different wars, now supports the plants that flourish showing us again that biblical saying, “from death into life”.
Now, for the best part of this story — the Veteran’s Plaza was the dream of one man, Major Diggs Brown, a Special Forces Veteran living in Fort Collins, CO. He was inspired to make a difference after attending the funeral of Sergeant Walsh.
Soon thereafter, he gathered community members, veterans and numerous organizations and created a “Plaza” committee. The group worked tirelessly for two years, soliciting donations, holding fundraisers, brainstorming and promoting the vision.
Today was a testimony to what an idea can become with planning, hard work, creativity, and most of all, a Dream.
Nov
10
THE CONVERSATION
Filed Under Tears of a Warrior, War | Comments Off on THE CONVERSATION
This is a guest post submitted by Ben Heath:
“The conversation was the result of a long day I spent at Arlington to visit three brothers I lost.”
One simple grave among a sea of others. Thousands of them in all directions, collection of brothers gathering for years.
How could a place ever come to be? How much pain? How much suffering, blood, sweat and tears?
This one before me now though, it was different from the rest. It’s the one that had brought me to this place.
You see, this one here was the brother –I still had to face.
It’s a conversation I’d dreaded for years. I knew he’d be there.
Lost in my thoughts, loaded with burdens I thought I had to bear.
It didn’t take him long, not sure if I was really ready.
I was determined to hold my ground. Stand strong. Stand steady.
He was just as I’d remembered, all dirty, hard lookin and thin.
Bastard was just standin there lookin, with that familiar shit eatin grin.
I spent a long minute, trying to talk. Spittin an cussin, choked up, stuttering, not knowin what to say.
How does one express the feelings, the sorrow left from that horrible, horrible day.
Then in an amused voice, I heard him say—At Ease Brother, why you so tense?
We’re all brothers here. You not makin any sense.
The conversation eased some as he let me off the hook.
He could tell I was struggling. I’m sure I had the look.
He said— Look man, I’m gonna lay it all out for you, so listen to me good.
No excuses, No apologies, Move forward. It’s always where we stood.
Every battlefield takes some brothers; some are just bound to fall.
Others gotta keep movin, fight the fight, raise our flag up proud and tall.
They say those of us here, are the heroes. Cause we gave the ultimate sacrifice.
You guys that made it home, Hell, you gotta get on with ya life.
Don’t worry about us brother. We are all at peace here.
You the one got to deal with the memories year after year after year.
You don’t owe us nuthin; just remember one thing I say.
We did it all for the young ones. Be sure you show em the way.
It wasn’t easy for you to come here, shows you still got some of ya bold.
Now go back to your family. I can see you’re shivering from the cold.
Oh yeah!! One more thing I forgot.
One of the perks to this place — Beers always cold.
Go now in piece. Not one more day should you bother.
Cause no matter what. I STILL LOVE YOU BROTHER!!
Ben Heath
Desert Storm Veteran
Nov
7
I Think He’s A Soldier
Filed Under Soldier, Tears of a Warrior, Veteran's Day | Comments Off on I Think He’s A Soldier
This is a guest post submitted by Ben Heath:
“The following is a general description of most soldiers I knew.”
It no longer fazes him to have a grisly old sergeant screaming in his ear, but his palms get sweaty and he can’t say a word when a pretty girl smiles at him.
Is he a man or a boy?
He will eat cold grub covered in dirt and sand and think nothing of it. Bring him a burger with onions he didn’t order, and he’ll pitch a fit.
Is he a man or a boy?
He will run in the rain and push his body until total collapse to carry his load, but if mom asks him take out the trash, he will roll his eyes like a complete brat.
Is he a man or a boy?
He will dive from a plane at eight hundred feet moving three hundred mile an hour without pause, but the site of a needle makes him go weak in the knees.
Is he a man or a boy?
He will attack and kill the enemy with a ferociousness his own mother wouldn’t recognize, yet the site of a suffering child will bring him to tears.
Is he a man or a boy?
He can wade through mangled bodies and untold carnage, but he can’t legally drink a beer to unwind.
Is he a man or a boy?
He’s seen more evil and suffering in a year than most will see in a lifetime, and his favorite reading material is still a comic book.
Is he a man or a boy?
He is selfish, sarcastic, and sometimes down right mean with his buddies, but he will give his life for them as a matter of pure reaction with no thought given.
Is he a man or a boy?
I THINK HE’S A SOLDIER.
Nov
1
Tribute To A Soldier
Filed Under Combat PTSD, Presidential Unit Award, PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, Tribute, Troops, Veterans, War, World War II | Comments Off on Tribute To A Soldier
by Deborah A Maffucci
This blog was sent via an e-mail letter last week. Deborah has kindly allowed us to share her comments with our readers.
Growing up, my knowledge of my dad’s war experience went no further than, “My dad was in WW II and I think he was stationed in England.”
On advice from my therapist, I decided to go to the attic and find my dad’s discharge papers. Oh my!!! After hours of online research (which is amazingly complete) for the first time I realized that my dad was right in the “thick of WWII”
He was 22 years old in 1942 when he joined the USAAF to fight in the European Theatre in WW II. He received four medals and a Presidential Unit Citation. He was at Normandy, the Battle of the Bulge and Rhineland. He was a Technical Sgt. in the 8th Air Force Fighter Command, 66th Fighter Wing, 339th Fighter Group, 504th Fighting Squadron. Oh my stars !!! He was a soldier.
I needed to read about what it is really like to be a soldier. I found your book, “Tears of a Warrior” at my local library and read it almost in one sitting. I couldn’t put it down. A whole world of understanding and compassion for my dad has been felt in my heart. A sense of awakening and belief that I will feel much more true joy and happiness and conquer my life long feelings of anxiety, fear and depression.
I realize now that I am trying to heal from the secondary PTSD that comes from living with a combat warrior and not knowing it. There was no time for my dad to heal because he died in 1969 from cancer. I realize my dad’s war experiences must have been the true source of our family struggle. It wasn’t because my dad didn’t love us, or because he would rather spend all his time at the firehouse, the VFW or the Elks Club, he was a warrior. I understand why he loved being a fireman, he was draw to the danger, why he abused alcohol, to block out his war memories, why he yelled so much, he was a sergeant. All my childhood memories make sense now. Your book has put my life story in prospective. Thank you for that long awaited insight. !!!
My dad was a combat warrior and I never knew it. I just want to give him the biggest hug right now and tell him how proud I am of him. From 1945 until Dec 7th 1969 when he died, he was fighting WWII in his mind and body.
You have truly helped me to understand what happened to my dad in the war and what he must have struggled with after the war. I hold him in a new and special place in my heart.
God bless you,
Debbie Maffucci
P.S. I borrowed your book from the Jesup Library in Bar Harbor, Maine. I believe it was only hours after you so graciously donated a copy to our town. I have recommended it to my counselor to use in her therapy work.
Oct
15
DOES ANYONE CARE?
Filed Under American Patriotism, Tears of a Warrior, Today's War, Trauma, Troops, Veterans, War | Comments Off on DOES ANYONE CARE?
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
It’s been on the news and in the papers – the latest studies about our military personnel serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The studies done by the Pew Research Center were based on two surveys between July and September (Denver Post, Oct. 6, 2011). One survey focused on military individuals who are currently on active duty along with those who have served but are no longer active. The second survey polled over 2000 adults who had never been in the military.
What disturbed me most however was not the report that many of our troops are either “ambivalent” or do not feel the current wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were “worth the sacrifices”. Nope, what was most unsettling for me was that adults polled who had never served in the military did not give much thought to those serving in combat. Many felt that those who volunteered to serve their country knew what they were getting into.
- 84 percent of these modern-era warriors say the general American public has little or no understanding of the problems they face, with 71 percent of the public agreeing.
- Many Americans agree that since the terror attacks in the U.S., the military and their families have made more sacrifices than the general public. But even among this group, only 26 percent say this gap is “unfair,” while 70 percent say that it’s “just part of being in the military”. (msnbc.com staff and news service reports updated 10/5/2011 5:50:40 AM ET 2011-10-05T09:50:40)
I guess this last research bullet just didn’t sit well with me. Probably because as a family we have lived the aftermath of combat, lived with the ghosts of the dead and dying, and had to cope with the nightmares, anxiety attacks, and flashback memories. It isn’t that any vet or his/her family wants empathy for his/her service, but to read that 70% believe that “it’s just part of being in the military” seems like a really insensitive statement.
I am not sure that any person, young or old, has a true idea of what war and combat is about. I am pretty sure, on the other hand, that none of them had any clue that what they do, see, and experience in hell will stay with them for a lifetime. That the war they fought on foreign soils will follow them home and into their living rooms, relationships, and careers. Few of them had any clue that these things were “just part of being in the military”.
Perhaps, since Vietnam, too many Americans have been too far removed from the sacrifices of war. During WWII everyone on the home front had to give up something for the war. Now, most give up nothing, while those few who serve give up far too much. The very least we at home can do is give two or three minutes each day to say a short prayer for those and their families who serve. Just remembering our military will certainly make us, not merely better people, but a more thoughtful, compassionate nation.
Oct
7
WARRIOR DEDICATION
Filed Under Brain Injury, Combat PTSD, PTSD treatment, TBI & PTSD, Tears of a Warrior | Comments Off on WARRIOR DEDICATION
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
Here is a question to think about…how many of you would take your entire retirement in one lump sum and then put it into a facility that would serve as a place of support, safety, and relaxation for our country’s vets?
This special place would require quite a bit of work. You would need to paint the walls, put in new furniture that would be comfortable and calming, and develop programs that would facilitate a wounded warrior’s emotional and physical well-being.
Such a facility would need quiet places where an individual could find the best environment to heal. For instance, one room would serve as a large conference room for presentations and discussions. Another would be a smaller area with a number of large reclining couches as well as chair recliners. My favorite happens to be a room with three oversized, state of the art massage recliners.
Each of the two “relaxation” rooms is equipped with head phones to listen to select music of choice under dim lighting. Small water fountains provide a sense of a quiet, flowing river. A large screen TV scrolls messages of hope and inspiration. Every detail was thoughtfully conceived to provide a special place of peace.
And here is the amazing thing, the person who has formed this sanctuary does not charge one cent for a veteran or family member. The Warrior Relaxation Response Center is located on the south side of Colorado Springs, CO, close to Fort Carson military base. It has been open barely a year. To continue to provide these services, the owner, Antoine Johnson, is desperately trying to obtain grants from various organizations as well as the army’s military base.
With a challenging economy, this will be no easy task. As Antoine tells it, “It is a true leap of faith”. He explains that he simply loves the military men and women who served our country. He and his wife spent many years in the army, fought in Desert Storm, and then became teachers. Working with traumatized children became his specialty. Many of the children came from military families torn apart by combat deployments, with parents returning with TBI and PTSD. Antoine saw a calling to help those returning from war to achieve a more stable and balanced life.
Last Thursday we were invited to visit the center and speak to some of the veterans and their families. Young and old were present, each with a story of trauma The flashbacks, the lack of understanding from family and friends who have not had to endure war, the numbing of the senses just to get through the day, and the sometimes overwhelming anxiety of not knowing when the next emotional attack will occur.
Throughout our country there will be an even greater need for more centers like the Warrior Relaxation Response Center A place where an individual can visit to simply be alone and find some solace. A place where he/she will not be judged, asked questions, or encouraged to just get on with living. Sometimes, as Antoine understands, a warrior simply needs a quiet space. Healing takes time, often a lifetime.
For those who want to contribute to support this mission or learn more about the facility please contact Antoine Johnson: http://www.warriorrrc.com
Sep
26
Honor Flight
Filed Under American Patriotism, Events, Healing, Honor Flight, Tears of a Warrior, War | Comments Off on Honor Flight
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
It is early morning Sunday, September 11, 2011 and still dark outside as veterans Earl and Tony Seahorn depart for their long awaited father & son trip to Washington D.C. Veterans from two different wars are about to embark on a patriotic journey of a lifetime. Earl, a WWII Navy veteran, participated in the historic “D-Day” operation at Normandy. Tony, a Vietnam veteran with a Purple Heart was going to be his “guardian” for the trip. Guardians pay their own way to support the WWII and Korean War Honor Flight participants. But when the selection committee discovered that Tony volunteered to support the Wyoming/Northern Colorado Flight, they chose to honor his military service as well. This was the first time Vietnam veterans who have a purple heart have been invited to join the Honor Flight attendees. The pair is one of the first father/son duos to participate together in the Honor Flight program.
Having so many veterans assembled together, so many experiences good and bad; so much sacrifice all in the name of liberty was humbling. Family members, friends, community groups gathered for the celebration and send off. Because this was the tenth anniversary of 9/11, a moment of silence occurred to mark the time the various planes hit the World Trade Towers, the Pentagon, and Flight 93 that crashed in what is now a sacred field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.
In the silent room, one could not help but be aware of the high cost of what comes to pass when the United States becomes part of war. To make it even more profound, Sal Gunita, the recent Medal of Honor recipient, spoke to these past warriors and thanked them for their courage, service and sacrifice for our country.
Then the veterans were loaded on four buses for the trip to Denver International Airport where their charter plane was waiting. People lined the outside hotel’s corridor, waving flags and smiling. Horns honked, over one hundred Patriot Guard motorcycle members along with many police, fire department, and sheriff deputy personnel provided an escort. A red and white helicopter hovered over the scene just above a huge American flag fluttering its special salute. As the convoy traveled down the highway, groups gathered on bridges and along roadsides to acknowledge the day and the veteran’s service.
On this tenth anniversary of 9/11 four busloads of warriors began what may be for many one final expedition to visit memorials in our nation’s capital. Memorials dedicated to their service that will forever serve as a visual and silent reminder that Freedom is never Free. For many of these weathered warriors, tears remain in their hearts and souls. For others, they are finally liberated to weep quietly. This time, however, at least some of these tears are not from sorrow, but from gratitude and joy. It is for this reason, we are incredibly appreciative of the many volunteers, donations, and efforts of all those who have made such a huge difference to the many veterans participating in these special Flight of Honor.
http://www.honorflight.org/about/index.cfm
Sep
5
PLUCKING TEARS
Filed Under Family, Healing, Life, Peace, Plucking Tears, Tears of a Warrior | Comments Off on PLUCKING TEARS
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
Plucking Tears is not an easy thing to do, especially when the water works fall faster than you can pluck. Another problem to consider is how do you pluck tears when they are inside your heart and soul? These water drops are harder to access. Many times some do not even recognize they are weeping. The suffering is so silent, so hard to define that outsiders rarely, if ever, observe the sobs.
War is an extreme opportunity to frequently pluck tears. There are tears of grief, tears of sadness, tears of loss, tears of confusion, and the list could go on and on. As soon as you think you are done with the weeping, it returns for another round. It takes an emotionally powerful person to allow tears. Most of us are afraid if we start the crying we may not be able to stop. It is a frightening thought. Yet, whether we allow ourselves to cry openly on the outside, the sobbing will move through our spirits.
I once heard that some wars are GOOD wars. For me, there is no such thing as a good war. There may be “just” wars, but even then this does not make war good. All wars cause a great deal of woundedness. Woundedness for those fighting the battles, and woundedness for anyone close to the combat zone. Communities are devastated by the carnage left behind, families are torn apart, and individuals carry the scars forever. War gives a great many people frequent occasions to Pluck Tears. Wouldn’t it be great if we could get just a bit of peace from the plucking?
