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Nov
23
Humility & Bravery Visible
Filed Under Combat PTSD, Life, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD, War | 2 Comments
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
The day was wet and overcast.
Upon arriving at the VA Hospital in Denver, we noticed how many patients seemed to be waiting for a bus or a taxi. Tony didn’t appear overly eager to walk into the building. Just looking at the entrance from the outside made him nervous. Walking inside was even worse. Almost forty years ago, this was the place he went to get help for the nightmares and panic attacks he was experiencing after returning from Vietnam. A young therapist at the time, untrained and unskilled in working with military personnel thoughtlessly told him to be grateful he made it home, and get on with his life. For thirty years, Tony never went back there… or anywhere else for assistance.
Thank goodness we now have a verifiable diagnosis of these frightening memories; it is PTSD, and veteran centers across America are far more proficient in caring and supporting our wounded troops. Nevertheless, Tony had not been back to the Denver VA Hospital until Monday. We were going to talk with troops in the PTSD Unit of the hospital. This is a seven week program where vets get intensive counseling and treatment for their combat traumas. Today there are nineteen men attending the afternoon discussion. Humility can’t quite describe what we feel when we do such meetings.
The majority of the vets were from the Vietnam era with the remaining members from Iraq and Afghanistan. I am pretty sure most people have little understanding of how much suffering each patient has survived; years of torment and silent screams. Each face revealed a unique map of torment. It appeared that every wrinkle held its own story, its own remembrance. Yet, it was the younger warriors who made the most emotional impact. Perhaps this was because they reminded us of our sons. Or perhaps, we were too familiar with the pain they were experiencing and the long journey still ahead. Youthful faces were not yet lined with creases, though their eyes held an even deeper look of anguish. Yesterday’s combat field was not that far from today’s reality. Time had not yet put any distance from the rawness of war. Where several Vietnam vets were willing to talk, the young fighters stayed silent.
At the end of the afternoon, one young marine told me how difficult it was for his mother to understand what was happening to him. He talked about how she just kept saying, “Why don’t you just get better? Why aren’t you back to your old self? You weren’t wounded, what is the matter with you?” and then he said sadly, “she told me, why can’t you just take a pill and be OK?” Then he quietly stated, “I’m trying’ I’m really trying, but I just can’t seem to forget, no matter how hard I try.”
It was heartbreaking to watch him describe his situation. First he endured the many horrors of combat. When he came home, he had to endure the unawareness of the “ordinary” people.
Next, there was the tall, thin youth who sat shifting in his chair seeking a more comfortable position. His back pain was obvious, especially when he cautiously walked bracing his weight with his cane. The sweetest, shyest smile spread over his face as he approached. What he requested was an extra copy of our book, Tears of a Warrior. He wanted to send it to his wife, hoping she might read it before he returned home from the hospital. Perhaps she would gain a better understanding of his condition. Perhaps, by understanding, she would be able to bear the years ahead. Perhaps together they might make it though the dark times still to be faced.
More than ever, I am touched by the courage the young and the old veterans demonstrate. A valor that leads them forwarded searching for a small bit of peace. By making that huge leap of faith to enter this seven week program, they lay bare their demons, hoping by exposure to the light these may leave, or at least become less frightening. For most, I believe this will be true.
Like in combat, sometimes to survive, one must rush towards the enemy fighting with every ounce of power he/she possesses. Healing requires that same force of power – rushing towards the demons, lets them know you no longer will run from them. When the hiding ends the healing begins.
Have a healthy and Happy Thanksgiving.
Oct
27
NOT YET, NOT YET
Filed Under Black Lions, Combat PTSD, Family, PTSD, Trauma, Vietnam Reunion, War | Comments Off on NOT YET, NOT YET
“Not yet, not yet.” These were the words a mother of a soldier who returned from war with severe, incapacitating PTSD composed to her son’s commanding officer almost forty years later. The mother wrote from a voice in heaven, as if her son had died, because in many ways he had – died emotionally; died cognitively; and died in spirit. Years had passed and she wanted his leader to know how much her son admired the man. How much he believed the officer had done everything possible to prevent the ambush that cost the lives of sixty-four troops. A dispensation of grace, for through her son’s stories, the mother realized how much trauma and burden the officer must be carrying from such a massive loss of life.
Even after four decades the pain and memories still persist as if the battle had just occurred. I am left to wonder how long a human being must or can endure such heartache. Being in charge of the lives of others is an incredible responsibility. A responsibility that makes losing those he led more devastating. One death would have been terrible, but sixty-four is beyond measure.
We heard the story while attending a reunion of the Black Lions who served in Vietnam. The get-together was a relatively small gathering compared to many war reunions. Small because the Black Lions were an elite unit of soldiers who traveled light both in men and equipment. And smaller still because so many had died during the many jungle encounters with the enemy.
Almost every survivor had a story and every attendee had an inner strength that somehow allowed him to live forward each day until now. I only hope that at this point, the time that remains in these old warrior lives can be lived with great joy, peace and personal forgiveness if needed. Our veterans deserve a bit of these gifts and so do their families. So when the mother wrote, “Not yet, not yet,” meaning… do not leave this earth too soon, the same words persist, “not yet, not yet”, the time for personal healing is now!
Blessings and God Bless our vets young and old.
Oct
12
Dang – These Stats Are Amazing
Filed Under Black Lions, Combat PTSD, Life, PTSD, TBI & PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, War | Comments Off on Dang – These Stats Are Amazing
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D.
As you might imagine, we have been doing research and accumulating multiple types of data for well over ten years. Much has been on PTSD along with statistics on various numbers of vets who served in different wars, as well as their injury and death counts.
Over the last two weeks we have had numerous individuals send us a variety of articles and information on the Vietnam War. Perhaps the most startling was a number that I checked out through several sites; it was a number that claimed only 1/3 of veterans who served in Vietnam are still alive. This number was part of a 2000 census count, so I can only assume the number is far lower ten years later. The actually statement was “Of the 2,709,918 Americans who served in Vietnam, less than 850,000 are estimated to be alive today”.
Yikes. This is a number neither Tony nor I ever expected. Perhaps we don’t want to admit that we are growing that much older. Or perhaps the numbers may show an underlying concern with the health of Vietnam vets who endured massive amounts of toxic chemicals while serving in the war zone. At any rate, the small number of Vietnam vets still living is a real worry.
Another statistic that we have seen is that of the 9,087,000 military personnel who served from August 5, 1964 – May 7, 1975, only 2,709,918 actually served in Vietnam. Of those who were in Vietnam, only around “40-50% either fought in combat, provided close support or were at least fairly regularly exposed to enemy attack” (Bob Beavis, 2010).
And most alarming in a 1995 census around 9.5 million individuals falsely claimed that they had served in Vietnam when they had not; in the 2000 census almost 14 million individuals falsely made such a claim. Yikes, no wonder the Veteran’s Administration is having a harder time trying to identify who did and did not serve when there are so many “false” claimants in America. As my grandmother would say, “Shame, shame, on all of them”.
Last, and this I find very interesting given the amount of press that has been given to the number of Vietnam vets who were supposedly alcoholics, drug users, and homeless, according to various vet sources (VFW Magazine, the Public Information Office…) there was/is no difference between those populations who served in Vietnam and those who did not.
Also, we often hear about how many Vietnam vets ended up in prison… simply not true. Vietnam vets were less likely to be in or served time in prison – only ½ of one percent (Bob Beavis). Over 82% of Vietnam veterans seemed to have made a pretty successful transition to civilian life in spite of dealing with severe injuries and PTSD.
So congratulations all you Vietnam vets; you have lived a truly exceptional life, served your country with honor, and had the incredible strength and internal courage to continue to live life with high principles and personal pride.
Sep
21
FAMILY STRENGTH
Filed Under Family, PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD, Wisdom | Comments Off on FAMILY STRENGTH
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
It is obvious that living with PTSD is a challenging journey. We hear so much about what doesn’t work, I wanted to take this time to talk about what does. The media seems ready to publicize the ugly side of trauma, yet it fails to show the other face of the family story – the good side. What those of us who have and are still learning from the PTSD experience, is the fact that the unpredictability of the memories and behaviors are what makes the struggle so darn difficult.
So what does work? 1). Listening. Gosh, this is something few people do very well, including those who don’t have to live with PTSD. 2). Sharing. Sharing what is needed for others to recognize where each member of the family stands. Sharing doesn’t mean spilling every tiny detail of your existence, only the things that are required for understanding. 3). Problem Solving. One person is rarely the only source of a family conflict. The biggest trick to effective problem solving is to spend 10% of time defining and discussing the problem and 90% of the time working it out. For many of us, we often do just the opposite. Last, and probably the most important, is the deep desire to get better and be better. No excuses. No blaming; just a lot of personal and joint effort.
If we pay close attention to what is working, as well as what isn’t, we may be able to replicate those positive moments. Focus on duplicating what we are doing right. Even if these strategies don’t work all the time, for most of the daily living together, it may be “good enough”. And right now, I’ll take that as personal success.
Sep
5
IF YOU’RE NOT OK, THEN WE’RE NOT OK
Filed Under Black Lions, Brain Injury, Combat PTSD, Family, Life, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD, War | Comments Off on IF YOU’RE NOT OK, THEN WE’RE NOT OK
by Janet J. Seahorn
Every day there are more and more wounded victims of war. These are the spouses, the children, the parents, the sisters and brothers of the veteran… and the list grows. It is one reason that we continually urge those impacted by serving in a war zone to get help as soon as possible if they begin to feel the “fall out” effects of combat.
There are centuries of evidence that prove this point. When a person returns from a traumatic experience and normal life is no longer normal, those around will become part of the trauma. It is an obvious statement, yet, there are too many veterans and families that refuse to acknowledge and deal with the situation.
It is like having an elephant in the room that no one wants to recognize or admit is there. The unrealistic thinking goes something like this… “If I just ignore the large problem, it will eventually go away”. The only problem with the problem is that it does not go away, in fact, it often grows bigger and bigger. And it begins to become more active. Imagine having a raging elephant in the room charging around with its large tusk and huge trunk. Wow, and I haven’t even mentioned all the crap it leaves lying around. It feeds on everything in sight, so eventually your house is a mess and you don’t have a safe place to hide from the growing beast.
Human nature seeks coherence and peace, even in the most chaotic of times. It is always looking for that which is safe and enjoyable. It craves stability and excitement, joy and delight. When these are absent for long periods of time, it is easy for depression and hopelessness to set in. You see, if someone you deeply care about is not OK, then it is quite challenging for you to be OK. And if both of us are not OK, then WE, as a couple, a family, a relationship, are not OK! Herein lies the hard choice — you can either accept the “crap” and continue on the path you may currently be on, or you can make another choice. A choice that can lead to healing. A choice that may allow the relationship to be more positive and loving. A choice that begins to do something about THAT elephant in the room.
Either way, we all choose which way we will continue our journey. Whatever choice we make will not be an easy path. However, one definitely has more constructive possibilities than the other. We persistently mention that if children are involved, than getting the elephant out of the room is crucial to their well-being and healthy development. As adults, we make our own choices, but children are subject to the outcomes of our choices. More than likely, they don’t get to have a voice; they are the helpless victims of our selection, good and bad. Therefore, think deeply about what you are and are not doing. Your children’s lives depend on which options you make.
For some of us, we didn’t have the information about PTSD, TBIs (Traumatic Brain Injuries), and other impacts of war. We did the best we could; at least, we want to hope we did. New military personnel have better information. They can and must make better choices, if not for themselves, for their children and the future of our next generation. Healthy life truly depends on this choice.
Aug
25
SPOUSE NEEDS HELP
Filed Under Black Lions, Combat PTSD, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, War | Comments Off on SPOUSE NEEDS HELP
by Janet J. Seahorn
There it is again – another message from a spouse needing help to cope with the conditions his/her companion faces after returning from combat.
Just reading their stories make me feel like weeping, screaming, and wondering… why our various government systems aren’t doing much in this area. To be sure, some Vet centers are implementing some innovative and helpful programs for spouses and families. Yet, far too many are going unnoticed and unheard. Some spouses don’t know where to go to access services; some simply can’t find anything near them that makes it feasible to get such services; and some want/need groups they can access through the internet. As one person explained… I am looking for a group that will tell me what they are going through and how they are handling it. I want some group I can talk to and be open and honest with that I can tell them the things that wives of PTSD vets are afraid to open up about…PLEASE HELP ME TO FIND THAT GROUP I KNOW SOME OF THE THINGS I HAVE GONE THROUGH I DON‘T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW ABOUT…
There is such pain just hanging out in our families and their personal relationships. Pain that few others see. Pain that the spouse and family don’t feel comfortable or safe sharing with anyone other than individuals who have been through similar experiences. Finding appropriate and effective programs need to be a high priority if our veterans and their marriages are to survive in a healthy and positive relationship.
After reading an e-mail from a wife of a Vietnam vet with PTSD who is also the mother of a son who just returned from combat with similar difficulties (double whammy), I responded with this note. I hope she won’t mind me sharing with our readers, since she is only one of hundreds who are worried, discouraged, and questioning what can be done to make things better. In almost every such message, the writer speculates if she has done something wrong or not done enough, whatever enough might be in these situations. Below is my response – I hope it helps.
Please know you have done nothing “wrong by your children”… war has done the damage. PTSD is similar to trying to swim upstream through raging rapids and water falls. It is a moment by moment and daily challenge, but there is hope. The key is to get as much information as possible, set and STICK to appropriate boundaries, and try as hard as you can not to make excuses for your husband’s or son’s behavior. I did this for a very long time and still, at times, fall into this hole. By making excuses for our loved ones, we do not hold them or ourselves accountable for the behavior. Just like any challenging illness or disability, the individual and family must work twice as hard as those not encumbered by the condition. What I was really saying when I made such excuses is that I didn’t believe that either I or my husband could do better or get better, and that simply was not true or accurate. We continue to heal, but we still have our bad days/times, which we know won’t totally disappear. The biggest hope is that we are better than we were before Tony got help with the VA center. By writing the book (Tears of a Warrior), I spent nine years researching the information and thinking about how it related to our situation. I kept saying to myself, “if only I/we had known this when… we could have done so much better or differently”.
It is important that both your husband and son seek help with your nearest VA center. If you aren’t happy with the service there, go somewhere else. We found we had to do that and finally found a wonderful VA center here in Ft. Collins and Cheyenne. ### was not so helpful.
As for your son, I understand how you must feel… both my sons are grown and on their own, but there are times I wish I could “kiss their boo boos, and make the hurt go away” like when they were little. A mother’s heart never is far from those of her children. Just the way it is. Now I tell my sons, “I can not solve their problems, because this is yours to do for yourselves. But I will always be there to listen, support, and love you.” I try to end by telling them this…”I know you are a wonderful, intelligent, and strong person. And I know you have the determination and courage to solve this situation. I know this with all my heart and I trust you. Keep trying. You can do it.”
The other point that I will end with is to ask yourself, “Do we have more good times than bad? Are we both trying and improving?” If the answer is YES, we keep going. If the answer was ever NO, things would be drastically different.
I hope this helps. Please know there is help out there. Check with your VA center to see if their are any support groups for spouses. For some these groups are a big help… I believe one has to be in the right group – not in a group where everyone just complains and leaves more depressed.
One last note: I was truly surprised when I did some recent internet searches on support for spouse to find there are few available. One I found is
http://www.giftfromwithin.org/html/groups.html.
If in all your searching nothing viable is available, think about starting a group. Almost every organization and many services began with one person taking action and building something useful for others who share a similar need.
Best of luck and blessing.
Jun
30
PTSD Series Discussion #5
Filed Under Brain Injury, Combat PTSD, PTSD, PTSD treatment, TBI & PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD, War | Comments Off on PTSD Series Discussion #5
By Janet J. Seahorn
When is it time to seek outside help?
This is pretty easy to answer: You will know if it is time to seek outside help when the behavior of the serviceperson becomes abnormally un-normal. When life becomes a teeter-totter of ups and downs that can’t seem to be controlled no matter how hard you try. When your surroundings and relationships seem unstable and unsafe and you aren’t sure why, get help.
When my husband began experiencing PTSD, neither one of us had a clue what was going on at the time. There was no such thing as Post-Traumatic Stress. War was something that a person went to, came home from and tried to move on. It wasn’t discussed. It wasn’t thought about (or so we once thought and wanted to believe).
No one considered how the events of combat could impact an individual for the rest of his life. If you came home somewhat physically whole, that was a gift. You healed physically, and you lived as if all the horror from battle never happened. The past was the past and it should not impact one’s future. What an absurd assumption.
Now we understand that nothing in our past is ever fully in the past. The good and the difficult follow us wherever we go. We are part of our experiences. With understanding, courage, and information we may gain strength and wisdom to move forward. Getting outside help can guide us in forming the wisdom and understanding needed for healing.
What are some good resources for help with PTSD or TBI?
There are many resources available to our military service men and women. Check with your local Veteran’s Administration Center if you suspect you need support. You may need to be referred to a Veteran Hospital for further testing and diagnosis, especially if you suspect a traumatic brain injury. Every state has several local centers that have been established to help veterans find the appropriate placement and support needed to get the services they may require. (VA Centers are listed in our book)
Don’t stop at NO if you are convinced you have something wrong that necessitates some form of treatment. Sometimes all you need is that one special person who can take your situation seriously enough to get help. Our family personally saw this happen with my brother. He was extremely wary of anyone associated with the government. As a Vietnam vet, his mistrust of a broken, ineffective system made him reluctant to seek help from a military or veteran organization of any kind. Once he decided to seek services he ran into several brick walls. Yet, he kept trying, until he finally found a former army sergeant who took his situation seriously and made things happen.
It only took one person to make a difference. Don’t’ give up or give in to frustration. Keep going. Help is available, but sometimes you may have to fight for it just like you did in battle. If you did it then, you can do it now.
In ending, we want to thank you and your loved ones for your service and sacrifice. You have made a difference that few will understand, or perhaps fully appreciate. Nevertheless, please recognize the depth of your courage, strength and warrior spirit. These are the attributes that sustained you through combat, and now they will do so again in moving you towards healing and a better life.
Jun
24
PTSD Series Discussion #4
Filed Under Combat PTSD, Events, Family, PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, War | Comments Off on PTSD Series Discussion #4
by Janet J. Seahorn
How can we talk about PTSD as a family?
Gosh, this is a tricky question with an even trickier answer. As we have discussed in most of the prior questions, the first step is to acknowledge that upon returning from combat things aren’t quite normal. Become informed about the signs and symptoms of PTSD. Be honest as much as you can about what each of you is feeling. As the service person, you don’t have to go into all of the horrible details of your experiences, but you do and will need to discuss the truth that your military life in a combat zone may have been pretty distressing; that what you saw and did was often unsettling.
As the significant other or spouse, your role initially is to just listen. Try not to ask too many questions. Sometimes it may seem you are prying. Try and wait a bit before going into the details. But it is crucial, as a family, to talk. Silence is simply not an option. It creates distance by making assumptions about behaviors that may not be accurate.
In our book, we describe an incident where a young man who had been in several roadside bombings returned home from Iraq. On a quiet Saturday afternoon, the family decided to take a trip out of town to a favorite shopping center. It was to be a fun outing of togetherness. Things were going well until the young family came to bridge where a man waving for help was standing by the roadside next to a car with a flat tire. The wife suggested they stop and help, however, the young serviceperson immediately turned his vehicle around in the middle of the road, angrily stomped on the gas and headed home. Not knowing what was happening, the wife assumed her husband was acting unreasonably. It was a silent ride back to town. The young vet never told his wife what was going on in his mind. Later, during his scheduled visit to his VA counselor he retold the story. He knew his wife and children were upset with him for ruining their fun afternoon. However, what he saw was not an ordinary man with a flat tire needing help. What his mind and body saw and felt was a possible setup for an IED (Improvised Explosive Device). He had seen this many times during his tour of duty in Iraq. He had two thoughts to keep his family out of harms way: 1) He could shoot the “terrorist” standing on the roadside, or 2) He could, without delay, get his family away from the danger zone. Understanding that shooting the “threat” was probably not the best decision, he chose option two. Makes perfect sense, but without talking he went home angry and upset. And his family had no clue as to what had just occurred.
In our book we advise “If you care, you share”. Sharing creates understanding. Understanding generates compassion. And compassion establishes hope and protects the relationship.
Another word of advice about discussing a concern: Never try and sit down to talk over an issue when one or both parties are in a full pitch of rage or anger. You can’t stop a charging bear… it is already on a mission to attack. You must wait until tempers are calmer and conditions settle down enough to have a reasonably calm and “adult” discussion. If a blaming game begins, stop immediately. Blaming never solves the problem; it only throws more fuel on a hot fire. Use “I” statements such as, “I start to feel afraid when I see you getting angry and I don’t understand why?” or “It is hard for me to go to family events without you. I miss doing things together and want to know what I can do to make it OK for you to attend some of our family get-togethers.”
Most of our family conversations, once we began to understand what we were facing, resulted in a compromise that everyone could agree would make the situation better for all involved. We now try not to live on assumptions by doing a reality check with the person. For family events, every person becomes responsible for him or herself. Sometimes my husband chooses downtime away from a houseful of noisy people. He goes to a quiet room to watch TV or read a book while the rest of us play a rowdy game of Pictionary or Shout It Out. This is a Win/Win for everyone and is absolutely acceptable behavior.
May
25
PTSD Series Discussion #3
Filed Under Combat PTSD, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, Treating PTSD, War | Comments Off on PTSD Series Discussion #3
Question 4: If I, as a serviceperson, have PTSD, how can I help myself?
First, be honest with yourself. As stated in the last question, do not ignore the signs that you are suffering from serving in combat. Do not pretend that things are fine; that the problem lies with everyone around you such as your spouse, children, neighbors, family, or co-workers. Watch for signs such as increased anger, irritability, depression, and/or isolation from normal family events. Resisting the feelings associated with PTSD only exacerbates the problem. The best thing you can do if you think something is not normal is to visit your Veteran’s Center as soon as possible. These centers have become much more proficient in serving the military population’s needs than they were during past conflicts. Physicians and therapists now recognize and understand in better detail the effects of PTSD and how to treat it. Don’t wait. Help is available. The sooner you get assistance, the sooner your life will begin to move forward in a manner that allows you to live more fully. You deserve to be at peace, to be happy and so does your family. You and your loved ones have given enough in serving your country. Now it is time that your country does something for you. Help is waiting; don’t wait another minute to get it. Life is too precious to be wasted fighting demons from the past. Today is the only thing you have that will make a difference for tomorrow. So use today wisely to gain understanding, healing, and perhaps some peace of mind and spirit.
Other suggestions include spending time outdoors. Nature offers us a tremendous healing environment, especially for emotional wounds. We find hiking, fishing, skiing, and simply just being in the wilderness soothes much of our anxieties and internal tensions. Pets are also a therapeutic comfort. A great deal of research has been conducted that has shown the positive impact animals have on a person’s well being. Because our pets love us unconditionally, are non-judgmental, and provide a sense of safety and security, they are one of the very best options for keeping us sane and healthier both physically and emotionally. A few additional suggestions that we have found quite beneficial are meditation, aroma therapy (no kidding J), body massage, and heavy doses of laughter. Humor is a terrific medication since it is almost impossible to be angry and laughing at the same time. It releases endorphins that alleviate body pain, and provides a huge dose of oxygen to the brain and muscles.
Question 5: What can I, as a family member, do to help someone with PTSD or a TBI?
There can be a major difference between a person suffering from PTSD and someone who has incurred a TBI (traumatic brain injury). A TBI is a physical injury to the brain, where PTSD is more a reordering of the neuro networks in the brain. Many times a person with a TBI may also have some form of PTSD, mainly because he/she was in a situation that caused physical and emotional damage to the individual and/or others in the company. As with all illness and trauma, the more informed you become the better you are at making appropriate decisions in handling the circumstances. Illness and problems must first begin with immediate recognition that something is not quite right. The sooner you recognize the signs of PTSD, the sooner you can begin the healing process. Once again, it is dangerous to ignore the obvious and pretend things will get better with time. Too often, this does not happen by itself. Time can make behaviors and tensions more precarious, destroying personal relationships and family cohesion. No one benefits by waiting. Spouses get tired of walking through the “mindfields” of the traumatized serviceperson. Children suffer because they can’t and don’t’ understand why mommy or daddy are not always the same kind; loving parents they were before war.
When a family member returns from combat with PTSD, everyone close to him must join together to offer support, hope, and comfort. In doing so, however, you must set suitable boundaries that will keep the family safe and well-balanced. If children are involved, they must be at the forefront of your concern. Their physical and emotional well-being is of utmost important. Living with a parent who has untreated PTSD can have long-term, negative consequences on a developing child. Getting immediate treatment for your spouse and yourself will be the best line of defense in moving towards the life you want to live and the family unit you want to be.
May
18
PTSD Series Discussion #2
Filed Under Combat PTSD, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, War | 1 Comment
Question: 2: Is PTSD different from Combat Stress?
The answer to this question may depend on which study you might read or which doctor is doing the diagnosis. Combat Stress has often been referred to as PTSD. “During the Civil War they called it Irritable Heart. During World War I and II it was referred to as Soldier’s Heart or Shell Shock and other terms described it as Neurosis, Combat Fatigue, or Combat Exhaustion (pp. 66-67, Tears of a Warrior, 2010). Every war has coined a term that seemed to describe a warrior who returned from combat with behaviors and reactions that were not a part of his/her life before the battles. Whatever one might prefer to call the behavior is not important. What is important is if the behavior interferes with the person’s ability to live a normal, happy life or the behavior negatively impacts family, friends, or work, you should get help immediately. Today, PTSD is the accepted medical term for similar symptoms from all wars.
Question 3: If my serviceperson has PTSD, will it better?
Our belief is that those suffering from PTSD can and will get better. Some fortunate few whose trauma is not as intense may be able to heal on their own. Most, however, who have seen too much, done too much, lost too much, may only move towards healing with the outside support of a trained physician or therapist. For many, like my husband, there has been no such thing as a full cure. Nevertheless, appropriate medication, counseling, and self-meditation have been a tremendous help in getting to that “better” place. With “better” understanding of what the person is facing and how those closest to him/her can offer appropriate support, the family can become a safer, stronger and more caring unit. Pretending that nothing is happening or that in some miraculous way tomorrow you will awake and all the bad stuff will be gone, is simply not realistic. It doesn’t just go away, no matter how hard you try. In fact, trying harder often makes the situation worse. The best approach to addressing these ongoing painful ghosts is information, productive action, and the courage to admit something is not quite right. Obtaining the help and treatment needed to move towards better physical and emotional health is the best step to recovery.