Mar
28
Filed Under Bailey, Dog is God, Dogs, Family, Happiness, Heroes, Hope, Joy Challenge, Life, Love, Pets, PTSD, Service Dogs, Tears, Tears of a Warrior, Tears of Joy, Veterans, War Dogs, Wounded Veterans, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on Missing Bailey
By Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
Loss presents a unique and somewhat ambiguous dilemma for humans. Those left behind
are confronted with a stream of untapped emotions. Life lingers between two spaces – the space
of the past when everything was normal, and the space that floats somewhere between what was then
and what is now. The present doesn’t feel like the present because we don’t want to accept the
reality of what has been lost and what will be our daily routine as we struggle to get through the
minutes of each day. It’s like being stuck in quicksand; you continually struggle to find footing,
while being surrounded by uncontrollable emotions.
Your heart and mind are trapped. Facing the circumstances of the loss is agonizing, yet
you understand that staying in such a dark place will not honor the love and life of your beloved
4-legged family member nor is it healthy for the sufferer.
Rest for the moment is unattainable. Sleep comes with too many dreams that are both happy and sorrowful.
Laughter, joy, even hunger stands frozen.
Moving forward isn’t yet attainable. However, we know eventually we can travel beyond the
yesterdays and focus on the tomorrows.
Right now we don’t know how to do that. Still we are hopeful we will get there sooner or
later. Remaining stuck is not an option. It is too sad, too tumultuous. Most of all staying in such
deep grief does not nor will not allow us to celebrate and honor the amazing gift we were given
through Bailey.
He was our “Joy Boy”. He would want us to wake each morning with delight and be grateful for all that stands before us.
He would want us to continue to love, to celebrate the moment of throwing a bright green tennis ball or plunge into the lake for a marvelous swim.
He would want us to be fully alive enjoying the wonders of each day especially remembering the wet kisses of his long, sticky tongue.
He would want us to be his “joy” parents.
We promise we will get to that point, Bailey. Just not today.
Love,
Mom and Dad
Feb
25
Filed Under Aging, American Patriotism, Bailey, Courage, Dog is God, Dogs, Family, Heroes, Love, Pets, PTSD, Service Dogs, Tears of a Warrior, Veterans, War Dogs, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on IN MEMORY OF HUNTER BAILEY
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
HUNTER BAILEY of FARGO
11/29/2006 – 02/23/2018
Hopefully you can bear with me for a bit. It will take several days and even more attempts to get
my thoughts and feelings down into some understandable form. As I try to write tonight through my
tears it has now been one day, seven hours and 47 minutes since we had to put our beloved lab and
service dog, Hunter Bailey, to sleep.
To say our hearts are broken and we are sad is too simplistic. We can’t put into words the entire impact of this loss.
It took us so suddenly. We had no time to prepare.
We took Bailey into the Colorado State Veterinary Hospital at 8 a.m. Friday morning, and left without
him later that afternoon.
For over six hours we sat and waited for some news on Bailey and his tests. It became evident
four hours later that something wasn’t quite right. We couldn’t get any updates and were told that the
doctors were still reviewing the tests. Finally, around 2:15 in the afternoon the doctors met with us. We
could tell by their faces something was wrong, but mostly Bailey wasn’t with them, which has never
happened on past exams.
Moving to a small room, we were told that Bailey had prostate cancer that had
moved through his entire body. Since he had been neutered as a young dog, this was highly unusual.
There was nothing they could do to stop it. The cancer had spread too far for any surgery and no
medications would be effective at this stage of development.
Our shock made it difficult to process or ask appropriate questions. The biggest ones were: “Is
he in pain?” Answer: “Yes.” “Can the pain be controlled/managed?” Answer: “Not well.” “How long
might he have?” Answer: “Maybe a month, two at best.” “Would there be quality of life?” Answer:
“Unlikely.” Other problems with clots and small tumors that could move or burst at any time made the
situation even worse.
Since, in only three short days Bailey began having difficulty walking and having
bowel movements it became clear the cancer had taken over his body and left him in severe pain and
physical distress. We had little choice but to do what was right for our cherished and loyal companion of
eleven years. The decision was beyond gut wrenching. We had no time to process what had happened,
what was happening, and what was the best and most humane course of action for Bailey.
We now live in a world somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow. We have put away his toys
and blankets. His feeding bowlshave left their space in the house to sit on cold, garage shelves. Sadly, we can’t seem to put away his
time schedule in our minds. Getting up in the morning, taking walks, evening feedings are still present.
Looking for him around the house, especially anytime we eat. These things will dim with time.
However, Bailey’s love, his joyous spirit, his devoted loyalty and desire to please, and most of all his
tender spirit will remain with us.
I think it truly is accurate to say, “GOD is DOG, and DOG certainly is GOD”. Thank you, Bailey, for being our precious four-legged child.
You are and forever will be loved and missed.
Aug
12
“Mom Told Me You Are a Hero”
-Constance Gibbons
Who didn’t like to use crayons and a coloring book as a child? I remember spending hours trying to use my box of many colored crayons to make the pages of my special book alive with various shades of whatever I thought the picture called for at the time. It never seemed to matter what the theme of the coloring book was about. The important thing was the simple act of making something of my own creation entertaining and exciting. When I was sad it took my mind off my childhood troubles… which sometimes were pretty significant for a young mind to understand. When I was tired, it gave me a way to stay occupied and calm.
It has been a long time since I’ve thought about the benefits of my early years of coloring. Then a friend told me about a children’s book she was writing to help young individuals process the reality of a parent serving in the military. What made this particular project so interesting was that it included a coloring book with crayons that went along with the original book. Gosh, I only wish I had thought of such a brilliant way to reach young minds dealing with the unique situation of having their moms or dads away for long periods of time and sometimes on numerous deployments.
The title of the book is Mom Told Me You Are a Hero by author, Constance Gibbons. There is a hard copy edition along with a coloring book with the same text. In my work, constantly studying brain development and the importance of early literacy, having both options is brilliant. The child can have the hard copy read to him/her, and then have the opportunity to color the pictures exactly as he/she desires. By doing the coloring, the child will be looking at some of the words in the text. The words explain the complex topic of war, yet, not in a scary manner. It describes how veterans come in all ages, sizes, shapes, colors, and genders. There are even examples of injuries a veteran may endure. It is very well written at an appropriate developmental level for children two years and above.
If you would like more information about these delightful and helpful books you may contact the author at cogconnexion@gmail.com
