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Nov
14
FROM A DREAM TO REALITY
Filed Under American Patriotism, Events, Healing, Tears of a Warrior, Veteran's Day, Veterans Plaza | Comments Off on FROM A DREAM TO REALITY
by Tony & Janet Seahorn
It is Sunday afternoon, and the end of a long and humbling Veteran’s Day week. The weather changes quickly from wind, to clouds, to warm sunshine and finally a few drizzles. It seems to be mirroring the lives of many of the individuals attending the opening dedication of the Northern Colorado Veteran’s Plaza. Most of the attendees are veterans spanning several generations of war. They, like the day’s weather, have lived with the clouds of battle, the warmth of joy, and at times a torrent of tears.
Those tears were the beginning of the dedication. The bridge which transports people from the main roadway into the park, now home to the new Veteran’s Plaza, was consecrated as Sergeant Nick Walsh Way. Sergeant Walsh died in Iraq in 2007. His parents, family, and fellow Marines watched as the new signage was unveiled; it was evident that the Price of Freedom has to be incredibly steep for those who serve along with their families who sacrifice along with them. Perhaps the bridge will serve as a reminder of hope – a transition from sorrow to comfort and from death to strength.
The Veteran’s Plaza is not a memorial to those who died. No, this sacred ground extends far beyond a loss. The Plaza will serve as a reminder of unselfish sacrifice and courage. It is a place where present and future generations can go to reflect on the courage of others and learn from their past. The garden is filled with soils from battlegrounds throughout our history: Iwo Jima, Normandy, Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan… This special earth, once stained from the carnage of different wars, now supports the plants that flourish showing us again that biblical saying, “from death into life”.
Now, for the best part of this story — the Veteran’s Plaza was the dream of one man, Major Diggs Brown, a Special Forces Veteran living in Fort Collins, CO. He was inspired to make a difference after attending the funeral of Sergeant Walsh.
Soon thereafter, he gathered community members, veterans and numerous organizations and created a “Plaza” committee. The group worked tirelessly for two years, soliciting donations, holding fundraisers, brainstorming and promoting the vision.
Today was a testimony to what an idea can become with planning, hard work, creativity, and most of all, a Dream.
Sep
26
Honor Flight
Filed Under American Patriotism, Events, Healing, Honor Flight, Tears of a Warrior, War | Comments Off on Honor Flight
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
It is early morning Sunday, September 11, 2011 and still dark outside as veterans Earl and Tony Seahorn depart for their long awaited father & son trip to Washington D.C. Veterans from two different wars are about to embark on a patriotic journey of a lifetime. Earl, a WWII Navy veteran, participated in the historic “D-Day” operation at Normandy. Tony, a Vietnam veteran with a Purple Heart was going to be his “guardian” for the trip. Guardians pay their own way to support the WWII and Korean War Honor Flight participants. But when the selection committee discovered that Tony volunteered to support the Wyoming/Northern Colorado Flight, they chose to honor his military service as well. This was the first time Vietnam veterans who have a purple heart have been invited to join the Honor Flight attendees. The pair is one of the first father/son duos to participate together in the Honor Flight program.
Having so many veterans assembled together, so many experiences good and bad; so much sacrifice all in the name of liberty was humbling. Family members, friends, community groups gathered for the celebration and send off. Because this was the tenth anniversary of 9/11, a moment of silence occurred to mark the time the various planes hit the World Trade Towers, the Pentagon, and Flight 93 that crashed in what is now a sacred field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.
In the silent room, one could not help but be aware of the high cost of what comes to pass when the United States becomes part of war. To make it even more profound, Sal Gunita, the recent Medal of Honor recipient, spoke to these past warriors and thanked them for their courage, service and sacrifice for our country.
Then the veterans were loaded on four buses for the trip to Denver International Airport where their charter plane was waiting. People lined the outside hotel’s corridor, waving flags and smiling. Horns honked, over one hundred Patriot Guard motorcycle members along with many police, fire department, and sheriff deputy personnel provided an escort. A red and white helicopter hovered over the scene just above a huge American flag fluttering its special salute. As the convoy traveled down the highway, groups gathered on bridges and along roadsides to acknowledge the day and the veteran’s service.
On this tenth anniversary of 9/11 four busloads of warriors began what may be for many one final expedition to visit memorials in our nation’s capital. Memorials dedicated to their service that will forever serve as a visual and silent reminder that Freedom is never Free. For many of these weathered warriors, tears remain in their hearts and souls. For others, they are finally liberated to weep quietly. This time, however, at least some of these tears are not from sorrow, but from gratitude and joy. It is for this reason, we are incredibly appreciative of the many volunteers, donations, and efforts of all those who have made such a huge difference to the many veterans participating in these special Flight of Honor.
http://www.honorflight.org/about/index.cfm
Sep
5
PLUCKING TEARS
Filed Under Family, Healing, Life, Peace, Plucking Tears, Tears of a Warrior | Comments Off on PLUCKING TEARS
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
Plucking Tears is not an easy thing to do, especially when the water works fall faster than you can pluck. Another problem to consider is how do you pluck tears when they are inside your heart and soul? These water drops are harder to access. Many times some do not even recognize they are weeping. The suffering is so silent, so hard to define that outsiders rarely, if ever, observe the sobs.
War is an extreme opportunity to frequently pluck tears. There are tears of grief, tears of sadness, tears of loss, tears of confusion, and the list could go on and on. As soon as you think you are done with the weeping, it returns for another round. It takes an emotionally powerful person to allow tears. Most of us are afraid if we start the crying we may not be able to stop. It is a frightening thought. Yet, whether we allow ourselves to cry openly on the outside, the sobbing will move through our spirits.
I once heard that some wars are GOOD wars. For me, there is no such thing as a good war. There may be “just” wars, but even then this does not make war good. All wars cause a great deal of woundedness. Woundedness for those fighting the battles, and woundedness for anyone close to the combat zone. Communities are devastated by the carnage left behind, families are torn apart, and individuals carry the scars forever. War gives a great many people frequent occasions to Pluck Tears. Wouldn’t it be great if we could get just a bit of peace from the plucking?
Aug
22
HEALING REUNIONS
Filed Under Events, Healing, Life, PTSD, Tears of a Warrior | Comments Off on HEALING REUNIONS
by Tony & Janet Seahorn
The corn is high, tasseled and almost ready to cut. Traveling through Nebraska we pass miles and miles of these tall stalks waving in the wind and looking like a legion of green sentries welcoming visitors. For the second year in a row we are returning to the Nebraska Vietnam Veteran Annual Reunion as guest speakers. It is the twenty-seventh year the gathering has been held and the attendees grow each time. Every person is welcomed… veterans, spouses, family members, and friends. Besides Nebraska, they travel from South Dakota, Kansas, Wyoming, and Colorado.
These reunions are not just reminiscing about the vet’s combat experience. They are more on being with others who have traveled a familiar road, have endured a similar past, and have formed new friendships, gained new understandings of their war events, and lived a life of service to their families and communities. The days are filled with celebrations of being – being with old buddies and new friends, being with other spouses to laugh and cry, and being in their beloved state to appreciate that this land is exactly what they fought, died, and suffered for decades earlier. Since they had no parades or welcoming ceremonies when they returned from Vietnam, they created their own event commemorating their service.
Hanging around over four hundred veterans and their families, one observes and learns many lessons and here are just a few:
- 1. There really is healing in numbers.
- 2. One does not have to do the journey after combat alone. He/she has a huge posse to support the trip.
- If one person falls, there are many who care enough to pick him up, brush him off, and kick him in the butt to keep going.
- The pain and memories of combat may never go away but these memories/pain do not have to consume the entire life of the individual. Each person must make the choice to move forward in spite of their wounds.
- There is still joy in living each day.
- Laughter (and food) really is the best medicine.
- A good sense of humor gets you through a lot of grief.
And last, this special quote that we used during our workshop to support each vet and their family’s continued healing.
“The key thing to get inside the head of a PTSD suffering vet is this: If one of your buddies was lying wounded on the battlefield, you’d carry him to safety at all costs, right? Well this time, the vet wounded in his soul is the guy in the mirror, AND IT’S YOUR DUTY to carry this one more vet to help. He’s hurting because he’s a human that’s gone through an inhuman experience. Your buddies who didn’t make it back want one thing only – for one of you to make it, namely YOU. Your victory is saving that vet in the mirror, helping him forgive himself for being only human ( Roland Van Deusen).”
Aug
2
RIVER FISHING – GREAT THERAPY
Filed Under Combat PTSD, Events, Fishing Therapy, Healing, Healing Waters, Peace, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, Veterans | Comments Off on RIVER FISHING – GREAT THERAPY
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
There are few things in life that can take your mind off trouble more than a special day on a beautiful river. Last week the Platte Valley Trout Unlimited Chapter located in Saratoga, Wyoming had the opportunity to take a group of wounded veterans from the Cheyenne VA Medical Center on just such a trip. The excursion began with an amazing barbecue put on by members of the chapter and local volunteers. It seemed like almost everyone in the community wanted to contribute something from ice cream to napkins. Children from 4-H served food, helped clean up, and simply added their youthful energy to the evening.
The next morning began early with breakfast which proved there is nothing wrong with a warrior’s appetite. Then off to the river, which is a logistical bussle of shuttling boats, equipment and people to one of the river’s launch site. Vice-President and project coordinator of the Trout Unlimited Chapter, Steve Hays, was a bundle of nerves as he wanted to make sure every detail of this event went perfectly. Again, all the shuttle drivers, helpers, boats, and guides donated their time and efforts to making the fishing trip an amazing experience.
The guardian angels of fishing trips could not have arranged a more beautiful day for a float. The water was dazzling with light, birds seemed to have arranged their chorus of unique songs for entertainment, and even the fish were cooperative. Private angling lessons were given throughout the day which proved to be quite successful for most of the veterans. Two warriors demonstrated their angling abilities by catching ten or more fish. Since the North Platte River has been running at flood stage since mid-May, having the water and its inhabitants somewhat normal was a real gift.
Yet, the most significant result of the float trip was its therapeutic benefits to the wounded warriors. Most of the group had not known each other before the overnight trip. What they found from these precious, short twenty-four hours is recorded in their comments below:
- I can’t believe people care that much about us.
- I had no idea other veterans continue to struggle with PTSD; I thought I was just weak.
- I really needed this… it’s been a long time since I felt I could relax and feel safe.
- The whole experience has been a true blessing.
- This is what makes healing happen.
- That was one of the best days of my life.
Formal therapy can and is very helpful to many military individuals healing from the trauma of combat. But it is only one ingredient of the recipe. Being with others who have suffered similar wounds, knowing that others care and appreciate their sacrifices and experiencing the beauty and serenity of nature offers one a sense of peace, safety, and the faith that perhaps some divine presence may truly be keeping watch over them.
Yep, Fishing Therapy… the new, ground-breaking, effective line of defense against the scars of war.
Jul
26
PERSONAL FORGIVING
Filed Under Combat PTSD, Family, Giving, Healing, Life, PTSD, Trauma | Comments Off on PERSONAL FORGIVING
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
There is a saying in the bible stating, “Forgive and ye shall be forgiven”. Yet, here’s the dicey part for many of us, some times it is harder to forgive ourselves for things we have and have not done (some of which are more perception than truth) than it is to forgive others.
Military men and women who serve in intense combat zones must learn to identify and face up to their experiences from their emotional position if they are to begin to heal. Putting “these feelings into words or some other symbolic expression”, as Bessel van der Kolk asserts, helps complete the story in a restorative manner. Everyone has things they have done that they wish could be forgotten. The problem occurs when we can’t just forget, or the personal blame continues to grow. The burden gets heavier unless some of the weight is released. We cannot be set free until we understand that we’re not fully responsible for much of the trauma that took place in our lives.
As humans, many of us tend to take too much ownership for circumstances that are far beyond our full control. We simply do the best we can, and sometimes that “best” does not feel good enough. Forgiving ourselves is an important step in the healing process. Without personal forgiveness, we hold too much anger, sadness, and anguish in our minds and bodies. It is little wonder we become emotional and physically drained.
Realistically, I do not condone the open spilling of our feelings. Sometimes when I have been overly urged to do so, I left the exchange even more vulnerable and irritated. And I definitely did not want to be in the presence of that person anytime soon. It is only when we can begin to share with someone who is open to listening and able to keep our words in confidentiality can we feel safe enough to share our story. Trust is crucial. Patience is necessary. Hope for living a better life is essential.
Daniel Siegel writes about the importance of “feeling felt” when sharing emotions. We cannot “feel felt” if, when sharing our stories, we are constantly being interrupted, interrogated for more details, or given advice on how we should or should not have acted or felt. Such disruptions only validate our instincts to suffer in silence. Unfortunately, unspoken suffering only compounds the problem and adds to the burden.
The challenge is finding the right person (or people) at the right time to begin your dialogue. For many of us it may or may not be a close family member or friend. Sometimes talking to a reliable “stranger” can bring clarity to our experience.
Begin to explore who may be your safe sounding board. In doing so, the weight of your story may begin to diminish. You may just realize that carrying this burden is no longer helpful or necessary. Free yourself of the guilt. Free yourself of the pain. Free yourself of a past that can now be accepted, learned from, and honored.
You deserve no less as you live towards that healing place in your mind, heart, and body.
Jul
19
HEALING DAD
Filed Under Combat PTSD, Healing, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, War | Comments Off on HEALING DAD
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
It was Father’s Day and I got to thinking about all of the vets who are fathers and all of the special moments we shared as a family, as well as the times when things weren’t all that peaceful. In our book, Tears of a Warrior, we wrote that the good things far out numbered the bad. Yet, those difficult periods left lasting wounds; wounds that still remind us of the challenges of living with Post Traumatic Stress. Healing the wounds within us and the wounds inflicted on our loved ones can be a life long endeavor – a journey that poses some questions in order to mend the injuries.
First, identify who has been wounded and who do you need to help heal, besides yourself? Which relationships have been most broken by past and/or present actions? These can be spouses, children, siblings, parents, friends, and even co-workers. Identifying your “wounded group” will require a great deal of personal self-reflection and honesty. Not something most of us humans do well. Root-canals are easier to endure than admitting we have verbally harmed someone we care about due our unhealthy behavior.
What exactly needs healing? Things like trust wounds, word wounds, responsibility wounds. What actions impaired the ability of others to trust us? What did we do that makes us question if we can trust ourselves? When have we used words to inflict hurt? Interesting things – words; they can leave wounds that are longer lasting and harder to forget or forgive than many bodily injuries. Unlike physical bruises which can be seen on the outside of our bodies, words bruise the heart in ways that can neither be seen nor easily healed.
If you have been able to get this far, the difficult question of How can I mend these wounds? emerges. It isn’t important to do something huge; start with something simple which may not be all that easy. A phone call, a letter – personally I like Hallmark cards or even the new internet e-cards can be the beginning of saying I’m sorry, or Forgive Me. PTSD has been a bit like the words Jesus used on the cross, “forgive them for they know not what they do”. Because we did not know better, it was hard to do better. Most of us had no idea what PTSD was or how living through war left the veteran with residue that impacted his/her actions for years to come. Now we can get better by knowing more about the demons of combat.
Healing others helps us heal ourselves. It is a way of living forward with hope and personal forgiveness. It may be the only way we can diminish some of the demons allowing us to lead a more productive and peaceful life. Don’t wait another day to give yourself this belated Father’s Day gift. Some who have been wounded by our actions may not be ready or able to give forgiveness. This will be their journey. You can’t force forgiveness, nor can you take responsibility for it once you have assumed ownership of your own past actions. Take a deep breath, make that first step and conquer your fears and procrastinations.
“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try” (William Shakespeare).