Aug
6
By Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D.
Recently I bought a WMD (Weapon of Mass Destruction). It was something Tony and I have discussed and thought about for a very long time. Getting a hold of a WMD can be expensive and usually requires some research about the seller, type, even color. There are days I question my decision as well as my sanity. Was this choice a wise move or one made in a moment of weakness or total impulsiveness?
My home has been transformed into a combat zone. I can’t leave for even a few minutes or the destruction could be massive. This weapon can’t be left alone for any length of time. It must stay in a secure and yet environmentally comfortable space. Neighbors and friends sometimes stop over just to get a peek at it. Some admire it and others are afraid to get too close just in case it might detonate itself. Some may also wonder why I would get such an item at my age and stage in life. There are days I ask myself the same question; other times I merely feel bad that they don’t possess such a handsome and amazing weapon.
The weapon often gives me a sense of comfort just to know it is there, to touch it, to think about its remarkable potential. I may have failed to mention that even though my WMD is pretty wonderful it was and is not inexpensive. Proper nutrition, check-ups to make sure it is in tip top working condition, enough exposure to clean air, etc. Trooper, Tony’s service dog often wonders why we ever brought such an item into our peaceful home. He wants to know if and when we might take it back. You see, Trooper has to watch it very carefully just in case it explodes as it frequently does at any unexpected moment. He never had to put up with such an object even when he was being raised in prison and his training never included how to deactivate such a WMP.
By now you may be guessing what I’m talking about, or you may know exactly what I’m describing. It has four-legs, a silky black coat, incredibly sharp baby teeth that can shred a stuffed toy or slipper in a matter of minutes. This four-legged, miniature tornado has wallpapered my front room with toilet paper reminding me of the shenanigans we did in high school when we toilet papered friends’ trees leaving them to clean up after our mess. Maybe he is retribution for my younger days. Even with all of these challenges this WMP is so friggin adorable especially when he is asleep. We even gave him a name, Brody… short for brother.
It is fascinating how we can so totally love this destructive little ####. Tony sometimes asks why Trooper is such a super sweet, well-behaved young man. I remind him Trooper was raised in prison where there weren’t a lot of opportunities for a puppy to get into trouble. There were no kitchen counters with food where he could have managed to remove the yummy contents. Probably there weren’t many smelly slippers to destroy, and if you misbehave there may have been bigger consequences. WOW…. Maybe I can send Brody to jail for at least a year of training. Confinement might not be as exciting for him, but it would give us a much needed rest. Trooper is extremely in favor of this idea.
Nov
20
Filed Under American Patriotism, Combat PTSD, Dog is God, Dogs, Family, Giving, Grace, Grateful, Holiday Season, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving, Trooper | Comments Off on Being Grateful
By Janet & Tony Seahorn
Hard to believe another year has passed. Hopefully, your year was pretty awesome, filled
with amazing adventures and loving memories. For others, it may have been a year filled with
vast challenges. Yet, for most of us the year was probably a combination of both…. joy and
heartache, peace and chaos, and, at times, unforeseen losses and extraordinary blessings. For us
in each of these moments we were always surrounded by amazing family members, friends, and
many special strangers that came forth to shed light in darkness and serenity in daily miracles.
As we begin the holiday season with Thanksgiving we wanted to take a few moments to
be grateful. Grateful for the love and health of our family. Grateful for old and new friends that
we felt support and gentleness during some pretty rough days. Grateful for spiritual strength that
kept us moving through these days and showed us how fortunate we were even on those days
when we only felt at a loss.
We often forget to be grateful for good health until we lose it. We often forget to be
grateful for our food until we are hungry or grateful for the warmth of our homes until we are
homeless. We often forget to be grateful for our first responders who make life safer for each of
us. And most often in our busy days we forget to be grateful for all our veterans and their
families – past, present, and future, who sacrificed much so that Americans can live in a country
where we have so many freedoms that many places in our world live without.
This year we are grateful for each of our joys, our struggles, what we have and what we
miss. Recently we have been grateful for the addition of our new service dog from NEADS,
Trooper 1760.
Sep
14
Filed Under Bailey, Dog is God, Dogs, Hearing Loss, Heroes With Hearing Loss, Quilts of Valor, Service Dogs, Tears of a Warrior, Trauma, Trooper, War, War Dogs, Welcome Home | Comments Off on EYORE IS SMILING: WELCOMING TROOPER
by Janet J. Seahorn, PH.D
“Grief is the last act of love we have to give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief, there was great love.” It has been exactly six months and fourteen days since our service dog and beloved family companion, Bailey, died. We have written several pieces about our loss, but today is a time of rejoicing.
Two weeks ago, Tony, traveled to Boston to be introduced and train with his new hearing service dog, Trooper. He is a male, black Labrador. I could hear the lightness, the total joy in Tony’s voice the moment he first saw and touched Trooper. He was so concerned Trooper, perhaps, wouldn’t like him. Not to worry, they were instant friends. I’m pretty sure that Chase and Bailey had set things up from their perch in Heaven.
There will always be that crack in our hearts for those we have loved and lost. It will never go away, and truthfully, I don’t want it to be fully gone. The crack, the lump in the throat, the isolated tear drop in the eye, simply reminds me of how blessed, how immensely fortunate I am to have such amazing people and pets in my life. Each has given me a sense of joy, a gift of friendship, and a genuine endowment of love.
Today we begin a new journey of possibilities, of hope, and of unconditional love with Tony’s new service companion, Trooper. We look forward for the opportunity to spend our days with another special being. We look forward for another opportunity to open our hearts to this beautiful boy. We are excited to wake in the morning, move through the day, and say goodnight in the evening with Trooper by our sides.
Oh, and I think I told you that Trooper is trained for the hearing impaired. In the morning, when the alarm goes off, his job is to jump in the bed on top of Tony to wake him up. I’m not so sure I look forward to sixty pounds of enthusiasm that early in the day. And, yes, even Eyore is smiling.
Mar
28
Filed Under Bailey, Dog is God, Dogs, Family, Happiness, Heroes, Hope, Joy Challenge, Life, Love, Pets, PTSD, Service Dogs, Tears, Tears of a Warrior, Tears of Joy, Veterans, War Dogs, Wounded Veterans, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on Missing Bailey
By Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
Loss presents a unique and somewhat ambiguous dilemma for humans. Those left behind
are confronted with a stream of untapped emotions. Life lingers between two spaces – the space
of the past when everything was normal, and the space that floats somewhere between what was then
and what is now. The present doesn’t feel like the present because we don’t want to accept the
reality of what has been lost and what will be our daily routine as we struggle to get through the
minutes of each day. It’s like being stuck in quicksand; you continually struggle to find footing,
while being surrounded by uncontrollable emotions.
Your heart and mind are trapped. Facing the circumstances of the loss is agonizing, yet
you understand that staying in such a dark place will not honor the love and life of your beloved
4-legged family member nor is it healthy for the sufferer.
Rest for the moment is unattainable. Sleep comes with too many dreams that are both happy and sorrowful.
Laughter, joy, even hunger stands frozen.
Moving forward isn’t yet attainable. However, we know eventually we can travel beyond the
yesterdays and focus on the tomorrows.
Right now we don’t know how to do that. Still we are hopeful we will get there sooner or
later. Remaining stuck is not an option. It is too sad, too tumultuous. Most of all staying in such
deep grief does not nor will not allow us to celebrate and honor the amazing gift we were given
through Bailey.
He was our “Joy Boy”. He would want us to wake each morning with delight and be grateful for all that stands before us.
He would want us to continue to love, to celebrate the moment of throwing a bright green tennis ball or plunge into the lake for a marvelous swim.
He would want us to be fully alive enjoying the wonders of each day especially remembering the wet kisses of his long, sticky tongue.
He would want us to be his “joy” parents.
We promise we will get to that point, Bailey. Just not today.
Love,
Mom and Dad
Mar
11
Filed Under Aging, American Patriotism, Combat PTSD, Dog is God, Dogs, Happiness, Healing, Military, Pets, PTSD, Service Dogs, TBI & PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, Tribute, Veterans, War, War Dogs, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on Best Friends
Guest Blog by John DiCiacco
I dedicate my short story to all the Men and Women that came home from
war and discovered that the War and all its tragic memories came home
with them.
Did you ever wonder why God spelled backwards is Dog. I used to ponder
that thought a great deal, that is until I met my first Service Dog
Wyatt. Named him after Wyatt Earp. Wyatt was not a Registered Service
Dog you see and he didn’t go to School and get a Degree to be a Service
Dog. To me, though, Wyatt was much more than a Service Dog. He was my
Savior, my Salvation and he was given to me by God.
Wyatt came into my Life about Sixteen Years ago and until his death at
only Eleven he remained a Faithful Companion and Confident. As a
Vietnam Veteran living with PTS, Wyatt was my Soul Mate, so when he
crossed over, a part of me had died as well. Worse yet, many of the
emotions I felt when I came home in February 1970 was suddenly staring
me in the face. Guilt, abandonment, distrust and yes, even anger. I
threatened to crawl into the bottle again, that is until Wyatt showed up
in a vision and I remembered how good my life was with Wyatt Dog and
God.
I now have another service dog that ditched school altogether and
became home schooled just like his older brother, Wyatt. His name is
Mato, which means “Bear” in the Lakota Indian Language. The “Bear” has
recently turned five and yes, Mato has taken up the legacy of what Wyatt
had meant to me in the past and together we are making our own memories.
Did I mention that both Wyatt and Mato are labs and both of them are
black.
Life is good with God and Dog.
The following words come from a short tune I heard a while back and it
is dedicated to dogs.
“You are my Buddy, my Pal and my Friend, so wherever you go I just want
you to know you are my Buddy, my Pal and my Friend.”
In memory of another God/Dog, my beautiful nephew, Bailey. Bailey
crossed over this February and Bailey was the proud service dog to his
Buddy, Pal and fFriend, Tony. By the way, Bailey was also a black lab.
One of Gods Great Gifts.
God Bless You and God Bless America.
Mar
1
Filed Under Aging, American Patriotism, Bless Our Troops, Courage, Dog is God, Dogs, Family, Happiness, Happy New Year, Journey, Love, Service Dogs, TBI & PTSD, Tears, Tears of a Warrior, Veterans | Comments Off on Settling into the Year 2018
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
Now that we’re well into the New Year, and thinking about moving forward into a year of fresh beginnings. Remembering and preserving old friendships, being aware and grateful for an abundance of goodness, people, health and purposeful work that occupy our days can offer a sense of optimism. Yet, most important, having a richness of love in our lives – love of family (yes, even those that sometimes drive us nuts), love (and loss) of endearing pets, love of neighbors and friends, and love of something within and above us that help to guide us through the darkness.
For some that light may be almost infinitesimal dim. Bob Woodruff, a well-known journalist and author who suffered a devastating brain injury from an IED while covering the military in Iraq wrote in his book “In an Instant“, “First you must touch the black and then go back up to the light.” It was his way of “acknowledging that you have to let the fear in, but to dwell on the fear will only cripple you. You need to move back into a world of hope.”
There is no denying that 2017 was a year of great challenges and loss for many, and 2018 hasn’t been easier with the recent death of our beloved service dog, Bailey. Family members, treasured pets and very dear friends are no longer with us. Saying goodbye has never been easy even when we recognize that it is for the best (at least for that loved one).
However, we are trying hard to center on the plentiful blessings in our lives. The old saying, “It is just as easy to focus on being positive as it is to be negative”, every so often can seem like a big bowl of crap. Advice to the reader – listening can be more important than trying to comfort an individual by making comments such as “Suffering builds character”. I’ve never believed that old cliché. I think suffering reveals character more than builds it. Sometimes, we simply need to allow ourselves and others to grieve, to be sad, and to nurture our physical and emotional selves.
Nonetheless, I still believe that life is worth the time to live fully and with resolve. I still believe that most people are generous and decent. I still believe that compassion trumps unkindness and hate generates more cruelty in a world already filled with too much bitterness. I still believe that truth is more important than ever to counteract the deceit and false narratives of which others try to convince us. And, more than ever, I still believe in hope, for without hope it would be hard to wake up each morning with a sense of joyfulness.
Lastly, for our veterans, first responders and their families we wish you a year filled with peace, prosperity, and well-being.
You’ve sacrificed enough.
Daily count your blessings and know how precious those special moments can be.
Now it’s time to enjoy an exceptionally amazing New Year.
Feb
25
Filed Under Aging, American Patriotism, Bailey, Courage, Dog is God, Dogs, Family, Heroes, Love, Pets, PTSD, Service Dogs, Tears of a Warrior, Veterans, War Dogs, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on IN MEMORY OF HUNTER BAILEY
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
HUNTER BAILEY of FARGO
11/29/2006 – 02/23/2018
Hopefully you can bear with me for a bit. It will take several days and even more attempts to get
my thoughts and feelings down into some understandable form. As I try to write tonight through my
tears it has now been one day, seven hours and 47 minutes since we had to put our beloved lab and
service dog, Hunter Bailey, to sleep.
To say our hearts are broken and we are sad is too simplistic. We can’t put into words the entire impact of this loss.
It took us so suddenly. We had no time to prepare.
We took Bailey into the Colorado State Veterinary Hospital at 8 a.m. Friday morning, and left without
him later that afternoon.
For over six hours we sat and waited for some news on Bailey and his tests. It became evident
four hours later that something wasn’t quite right. We couldn’t get any updates and were told that the
doctors were still reviewing the tests. Finally, around 2:15 in the afternoon the doctors met with us. We
could tell by their faces something was wrong, but mostly Bailey wasn’t with them, which has never
happened on past exams.
Moving to a small room, we were told that Bailey had prostate cancer that had
moved through his entire body. Since he had been neutered as a young dog, this was highly unusual.
There was nothing they could do to stop it. The cancer had spread too far for any surgery and no
medications would be effective at this stage of development.
Our shock made it difficult to process or ask appropriate questions. The biggest ones were: “Is
he in pain?” Answer: “Yes.” “Can the pain be controlled/managed?” Answer: “Not well.” “How long
might he have?” Answer: “Maybe a month, two at best.” “Would there be quality of life?” Answer:
“Unlikely.” Other problems with clots and small tumors that could move or burst at any time made the
situation even worse.
Since, in only three short days Bailey began having difficulty walking and having
bowel movements it became clear the cancer had taken over his body and left him in severe pain and
physical distress. We had little choice but to do what was right for our cherished and loyal companion of
eleven years. The decision was beyond gut wrenching. We had no time to process what had happened,
what was happening, and what was the best and most humane course of action for Bailey.
We now live in a world somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow. We have put away his toys
and blankets. His feeding bowlshave left their space in the house to sit on cold, garage shelves. Sadly, we can’t seem to put away his
time schedule in our minds. Getting up in the morning, taking walks, evening feedings are still present.
Looking for him around the house, especially anytime we eat. These things will dim with time.
However, Bailey’s love, his joyous spirit, his devoted loyalty and desire to please, and most of all his
tender spirit will remain with us.
I think it truly is accurate to say, “GOD is DOG, and DOG certainly is GOD”. Thank you, Bailey, for being our precious four-legged child.
You are and forever will be loved and missed.
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