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Aug
25
VINCE THE PRINCE
Filed Under Courage, Faith, Fishing Therapy, Healing, Healing Waters, Journey, Life, Love, Military, Peace, PTSD, Rushing Wind, Tears of a Warrior, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on VINCE THE PRINCE
By Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D.
Once upon a time there was a very young boy who lived an incredibly difficult childhood. He was the oldest son of a family of five children – two younger sisters, one brother and a step brother. At eleven years old he became homeless, kicked out of his family by an abusive father. Drinking and beatings by his dad were endured on a regular basis. For five years he lived on the streets until he was old enough to join the army (1956-1965). Being of Navaho Indian decent, Vince the Prince was a fledgling warrior, and warriors always fight with perseverance and courage.
However, the trauma of his early childhood experiences followed him into the military. He was always in trouble, and believed he would get shot, knifed, or killed in prison. Life was pretty hopeless. Anger often consumed him, a normal coping mechanism many children of abuse use to mask their pain and unpredictable daily circumstances. But, Vince the Prince was a survivor, often called a “smart ass”. Being tough kept him alive, and being enraged kept him “feeling”.
How does a person ever survive such a life? According to Vince the Prince in 1970 he found faith in the spirit of the Lord, and this discovery saved him. Talking with him was pretty amazing as he could quote scriptures from the Bible better than most clergy. His personal commitment to the Lord handed him the hope that he lacked in his younger years and offered him a purpose in how he would live the rest of his life. In 1973 Vince was ordained as a street Evangelist. His parishioners were those confined to the jails and prisons in Chicago. He worked with the street people offering kindness, optimism, and faith. Having this new mission made him think of others before himself. He was no longer in the survivor mode, but in a vocation of serving those who, like him in his early years, were crushed by life experiences far beyond the control of a young boy. In 1983 he even completed his GED after having only a fifth grade education. Yep, pretty darn remarkable.
I asked him at the end of one of our conversations “What has been your greatest lesson?” His response, “No matter who or what you are, in God’s eyes you are precious.” And, ‘When all else fails turn to Jesus.”
Vince the Prince continues to work with young teens, many who are homeless like he was in his early years. Who better to understand their struggles, their fears, and their despair? Who better to provide a sense that no matter how dire your circumstances may seem there is always hope and that hope can lead to a miraculous future. Living life with purpose and a wicked sense of humor make Vince the Prince a very special human, indeed.
(I recently spent a week with Vince at a remote fishing camp in Canada called Rushing Wind. Tony and I were invited to work with veterans who have experienced the effects of combat and are finding ways to heal from the wounds of war.)
Listen peacefully to the wild call of the Loon.
May
20
By Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D.
(Photos and pilgrimage credit: Diggs Brown)
How many of you know about the Camino de Santiago Pilgrimage? It is a five hundred mile walk from Southern France to Spain, but it can take many different routes. “The Way of St. James” was one of the most important Christian pilgrimages during the Middle Ages, together with those to Rome and Jerusalem, and a pilgrimage route on which a plenary indulgence could be earned;[3]other major pilgrimage routes include the Via Francigena to Rome and the pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
Legend holds that St. James‘s remains were carried by boat from Jerusalem to northern Spain, where he was buried on what is now the city of Santiago de Compostela.
The Way can take dozens of pilgrimage routes to Santiago de Compostela. Traditionally, as with most pilgrimages, the Way of Saint James began at one’s home and ended at the pilgrimage site. However, a few of the routes are considered main ones. During the Middle Ages, the route was highly travelled. However, the Black Death, the Protestant Reformation, and political unrest in 16th century Europe led to its decline. By the 1980s, only a few pilgrims per year arrived in Santiago. Later, the route attracted a growing number of modern-day pilgrims from around the globe. In October 1987, the route was declared the first European Cultural Route by the Council of Europe; it was also named one of UNESCO‘s World Heritage Sites. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camino_de_Santiago)”
One of our friends, a veteran who served in Iraq, is currently on the arduous Camino journey. He began in France and is expected to take at least a month to complete the mission. On the first day of his walk, seventeen miles, resulted in some pretty ghastly blisters on his heels. Not a good way to start such a lengthy trek. Yet, in spite of the pain, foot sores, and body aches he continued his travel. The reason for taking such a quest is a personal objective of which the pilgrim only knows. He may or may not have a specific reason for going through this venture. It may be finding some external spiritual enlightenment. It may be finding answers to questions regarding life that he is still forming.
For him the reason isn’t as important as the path he is traveling, He is finding his own Way as he walks each step. Some days he says he’s content to be able to empty his mind and observe the scenery, the quiet, the road only as it appears. Perhaps by doing so, he is able to release some of the anxiety, demons, we all seem to collect throughout our life; for him especially his time in Iraq. What is crucial to this endeavor is principally the act of the doing. He is open to find whatever he finds.
Perhaps this is the essence of any real journey/challenge… the willingness to not fully know or even expect a certain outcome, but the ability to merely accept whatever may come forth and acquire gratitude for whatever may ensue.
I’m not sure I would be able, brave enough or even want to engage in such a venture. It would take a tremendous amount of stamina and trust to do so. Our friend in one of his comments talked about an 84 year old man who is on his fifth Camino. Amazing, humbling, and truly commendable. Today he is more than half way through his quest. We are eager to hear more about his amazing experience and we say a prayer every day for his safety and well-being.
Thank you Diggs, for sharing your remarkable travels with us. We hope this trip brings you everything you may or may not have imagined. Be well. Be at peace. And return home soon with Arthur where you both are missed.
Apr
29
Courage Revealed
Filed Under American Patriotism, Bless Our Troops, Combat PTSD, Courage, Dogs, Military, Post-Traumatic Stress "Injury", PTSD, Service Dogs, Tears of a Warrior, Trauma, Veterans, War Dogs, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on Courage Revealed
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
It is easy to see what courage looks like. We observe it in the acts of those who, in spite of intense danger or inconceivable suffering, or endless determination, an individual continues to live on. To move forward. We see it in the movies where it makes us feel safe and in control in events we know we may never survive.
But what does courage sound like? Does it reveal itself in words, in songs, in other types of media? Perhaps real courage sounds like Silence. The silence of grief that cannot be expressed in words. The silence of a heart being shattered. The silence of hidden tears and silent screams.
And what does courage feel like? It may be different for every person, yet, individually it contains some singular similarities. Our feelings, much like hearing, is silent beyond ourselves. Emotions, an element of feelings, come at anytime, day or night. It cannot be quantified, perhaps because we may not be able to find a beginning or end in its infinitesimal existence. You see, feelings go beyond emotions. They are deeper, often jumbled together with anger, love, gratitude and sadness. We feel what we feel. Attempting to put feelings into words can be exhausting, exasperating, and mostly ineffective.
Courage, like feelings and hearing is also Silent. It is very much present. There is both a sweetness and bitterness in courage. The sweetness of living through a reality that many may never experience. The bitterness resulting from that very same experience. It is not about the “why me”, “how come”, or “what ifs” of suffering. Simply having the courage to accept the experience for what it is— an experience that changes a person from the before to the now – and beyond.
We spend too much time trying to define/identify courage. Most results are superficial at best. For if, as I believe, courage is found only in the Silence… the empty spaces between the noise and what is seen, heard, and felt. We often miss or mistakenly identify courage. Its potential seed lives in most of us, yet, it can only be germinated when or if the time presents itself. For some of you reading this piece may think, “What the heck is she rambling about?” For others, those who have lived the courage, you may only nod your head and silently say “true”.
Mar
23
TED TALKS AND PTSD
Filed Under Brain Injury, Dogs, Post-Traumatic Stress "Injury", PTSD, PTSD treatment, Service Dogs, TBI & PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, TED Talk, Vietnam Today, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on TED TALKS AND PTSD
By Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) is a global set of conferences run by the private non-profit Sapling Foundation, under the slogan “Ideas Worth Spreading”.
It continues to be an overly busy few months. We are waiting for things to slow down a bit, yet, as soon as we are done with one “To Do List” another pops up with an even bigger task sheet. It begs the question as to whether we are really that harried, or if we are more easily exhausted because we aren’t all that youthful any more. OK, don’t go to that disheartening place.
A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to do a TED Talk at Colorado State University where I’m a professor in the Education College. Of course my topic was Post Traumatic Stress. After months of putting together the talk and multiple practice sessions, the day finally arrived. Truthfully, when I was first accepted as a speaker I was quite excited. As the day for the TED event grew closer I became more anxious. It wasn’t the fear of talking in front of large groups of people – we do that often. It was trying to fit twenty years of research and essential information into a fifteen minute timeframe that drove me to panic. This was more like the old television show, Name That Tune, in which the contestant was given only the first three or four notes of a song and expected to know its name; a seemingly impossible task for discussing Post Traumatic Stress and its effects on the brain, body, and spirit.
As I entered the stage area I felt like Katniss from the Hunger Games, going into a life and death battle without the proper equipment. You will have to listen to the talk (the information is in this blog), to see the results. Be sure to go to watch the very end for a surprise appearance of our service dog, Bailey. Tony, unbeknownst to me, brought him to the event and sent him up on stage at the very end of my talk. OMG!!!!
Ted Talk: 15 minutes worth hearing!
Understanding PTSD’s Effects on Brain, Body, and Emotions | Janet Seahorn | TEDxCSU – YouTube
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BEHDQeIRTgs
Jan
8
Another New Year
Filed Under Happy New Year, Healing, Tears of a Warrior | Comments Off on Another New Year
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
It is January 2016 – another New Year. Where I live in Colorado and Wyoming the ground is covered by a layer of fresh snow. The brilliant white blankets the landscape with cleanness, somewhat like an artist’s blank pallet before she begins to paint. The idea that I can begin this year with a clean slate – that I can create whatever I choose brings a sense of hope and optimism for the coming year.
Interesting, my morning meditation topic was “I make a difference”. What a perfect goal for this new year that every day I have the opportunity to make a difference however large or small. Perhaps it is simply a smile to a stranger, a phone call to a friend, a quiet prayer for someone in need. Perhaps it is picking up one piece of trash on a sidewalk, shoveling a neighbor’s sidewalk or bringing a meal to someone who can’t get out to a grocery store.
There are countless ways I can make a difference. The important issue is not to merely THINK about doing a good deed. The essential action is to DO IT! The thought is nice but the ACT is necessary. If I was into tattoos – I’m not…. I hate needles – I would engrave on my wrist the following words, “I can and choose to make a difference”.
Happy New Year – make each day forward count.
Jan
5
Thank You!
Filed Under Bless Our Troops, Christmas, Combat PTSD, Dogs, Holiday Season, New Year, PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, Trauma, Veterans, War, Welcome Home, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on Thank You!
WELCOME BACK!
by John DiCiacco – Guest Blog (John is a veteran & brother who helps make a difference)
I can’t speak for every person who reads your blogs, but I can and will say this, I have missed not reading them. The only thing that ever depressed me was the first paragraph in your latest blog. You always come up with something that touches someone, whether it be thought provoking or light hearted.
Your words always mean something to someone. Blogs can and should present different topics and when folks consider one to be difficult to read, then they can choose not to read it. But don’t just complain to the author, because life isn’t always a bowl of cherries.
As we all know, you can’t be everything to everyone so don’t try. But please don’t stop writing your blogs. Take it from this Veteran, I have never read a single one of your blogs that made me feel depressed. You write about reality, especially meaningful to veterans and families who suffer from the wounds of war.
I know that some times during any given month you have your own personal traumatic experiences that make life a little difficult and so you do your best to just survive. Just like the Veterans whom read your blogs. When moments arrive that you can’t seem to come up with something to talk about, I can assure you that I do. Or have a Request Button on Note asking the readers if they have something that they would like to talk about through you.
Oh, by the way, your ticket into Heaven has already been secured. Your Ancestors and Guardian Spirits have made sure of that.
As you know, I spent two tours in the Nam and Holiday’s are still very hard for me. Too many Ghosts and way too much guilt for one man to carry. The haunting reality for many Combat Veterans is the same unhealthy thought pattern we carry and wear on our chests like a sort of Medal. That thought is this and I quote: “Why in the hell am I here and not so and so”, or “I don’t have the right to celebrate or be happy when so many of my Brothers will never be here.” Most Veteran’s never come right out and say these things but the thoughts are real and they and their fallen Comrades are there as well.
Of course, in my efforts to be jolly I would have to self medicate and numb the pain just to get through the ordeal. Afterword the Guilt followed by the shame for drinking was much worse.
I don’t know how I got on all of this but I better stop.
You can blog me anytime you want.
Dec
25
Merry Christmas!
Filed Under Holiday Season, Tears, Tears of a Warrior | Comments Off on Merry Christmas!
Dec
24
Having a Happy Holiday
Filed Under American Patriotism, Bless Our Troops, Christmas, Family, Healing, Holiday Season, Journey, PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, Veterans, War | Comments Off on Having a Happy Holiday
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
It has been several months since I wrote the last blog. Honestly, I chalk it up to lack of motivation and simply feeling I had little else to say that would be worth anyone taking the time to read. Some individuals even commented on how many of the past blogs were a bit depressing. No kidding! Many of these individuals may have never had the combat experience or served in the military. It is difficult to understand something that has not been experienced. Humor at times can be difficult, especially during the holidays when you live with a person suffering with Post Trauma Stress. The experience is so not funny.
Yelling at those who don’t seem to appreciate or understand this type of suffering would definitely be something I’d have to mention in my next visit to church and confession. Just hope it might be a different priest who won’t say something like…. “Well, seems like you haven’t made much progress in this area”.
At this point my entry into heaven would be further compromised. At the very least I would be on Santa’s naughty list.
So, why am I writing a new blog now? Because it is Christmas. My favorite holiday (along with Easter, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Day…). Really, I love the smell of the season, the food, the lights in and outside of homes, carols, and the various displays around town. Unfortunately, as much as I love Christmas, I am reminded of how many of our veterans find this particular time of year a huge challenge. Christmas may be an unpleasant reminder of all that was lost – those who never returned home and those still serving in harm’s way far from home. Depression, anger, feeling alone and removed could be emotions that have to be dealt with once again. It is hard to be jolly or even be around those who are jolly when you are fighting to just keep your head above the waters of Merriment.
Tonight Tony was talking on the phone with a friend and veteran who was facing another season of cheer and trying to simply get through it and keeping his emotions/temper in check. During the conversation Tony mentioned that it was this time of year when he was in Vietnam and severely wounded. He lost many of his men during a horrendous battle and later spent months in various military hospitals trying to heal from his injuries. All these decades later it is not the physical wounds that test him the most. It is the emotional aches that make the holiday season taxing. Instead of all the Ho, Ho, Ho,….. I know that certain days he wants to scream, No, No, No More!!!
For years I had no idea of what he faced or continued to face. My delight during this time of year only exacerbated his loss thus causing more than one argument. Now that we both know better, we finally do better. I try to be a bit calmer in front of him, and he tries to take better care of his emotional needs by having more quiet time, going on long walks or taking Bailey pheasant hunting. And both of us focus on counting our blessings.
We’ll be darned if we let the PTS Grinch steal Christmas ever again.
Aug
12
A SPECIAL COLORING BOOK
Filed Under Coloring Book, Dream, Family, Healing, Heroes, Military, Soldier, Tears of a Warrior, Veterans, Welcome Home | Comments Off on A SPECIAL COLORING BOOK
“Mom Told Me You Are a Hero”
-Constance Gibbons
Who didn’t like to use crayons and a coloring book as a child? I remember spending hours trying to use my box of many colored crayons to make the pages of my special book alive with various shades of whatever I thought the picture called for at the time. It never seemed to matter what the theme of the coloring book was about. The important thing was the simple act of making something of my own creation entertaining and exciting. When I was sad it took my mind off my childhood troubles… which sometimes were pretty significant for a young mind to understand. When I was tired, it gave me a way to stay occupied and calm.
It has been a long time since I’ve thought about the benefits of my early years of coloring. Then a friend told me about a children’s book she was writing to help young individuals process the reality of a parent serving in the military. What made this particular project so interesting was that it included a coloring book with crayons that went along with the original book. Gosh, I only wish I had thought of such a brilliant way to reach young minds dealing with the unique situation of having their moms or dads away for long periods of time and sometimes on numerous deployments.
The title of the book is Mom Told Me You Are a Hero by author, Constance Gibbons. There is a hard copy edition along with a coloring book with the same text. In my work, constantly studying brain development and the importance of early literacy, having both options is brilliant. The child can have the hard copy read to him/her, and then have the opportunity to color the pictures exactly as he/she desires. By doing the coloring, the child will be looking at some of the words in the text. The words explain the complex topic of war, yet, not in a scary manner. It describes how veterans come in all ages, sizes, shapes, colors, and genders. There are even examples of injuries a veteran may endure. It is very well written at an appropriate developmental level for children two years and above.
If you would like more information about these delightful and helpful books you may contact the author at cogconnexion@gmail.com
Jun
30
NOT YET HOME
Filed Under American Patriotism, Bless Our Troops, Tears of a Warrior, Vietnam Veterans, Welcome Home, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on NOT YET HOME
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
A few weekends back we attended the first reunion of Wyoming Vietnam Veterans in recognition of the fifty-year anniversary of the beginning of the Vietnam War. For many it was the first time they had ever been thanked or honored for their service. As with most gatherings, there were parades, activities and several inspiring guest speakers. One of the speakers, a DSC and Silver Star recipient, Lee Alley of Wheatland, Wyoming spoke of his experience. Yet the message that resonated with me was when he noted that so many of our veterans are “Not Yet Home”. The way he could tell was simply by looking into their eyes which still held the gaze of combat.
There have been numerous articles, books, and blogs, including ours, that refer to this condition. Merely returning home from war does not mean that the individual has forgotten all that went on during his/her time in war. Although too many civilians (and even some veterans who have never experienced combat) seem to infer that coming home means being home. What few people fully understand, including some combat veterans, is the heart and body carry the burden of war. The mind continues to hold the traumatic events and the cells of the body alert the person to any sight, sound, taste, touch, or smell that even remotely relates to the dangers faced on the battlefield. The feelings of peace and security do not yet necessarily exist just because one is back home. Memories refuse to fade and may become even more vivid. The heartache and horror of war remain raw within mind, heart, body, and soul.
Not Yet Home is the albatross around many veterans’ souls. Forgetting is not an option. Trying to reintegrate into a “normal” world takes an immense amount of energy, and it is a goal that even those who have been home for over forty-plus years have not yet achieved. Living with the images, pain may be the new “normal”. What is hopeful for those suffering with Post Traumatic Stress is that with patience, support and practice a person can still live a productive, joyful life. Perhaps, Not Yet Home is the best one can achieve.
And that may be good enough.