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May
22
Memorial Day, Lest We Forget
Filed Under American Patriotism | 1 Comment
For many Americans, Memorial Day marks the beginning of summer or the end of the school year. Too many citizens never stop to remember the thousands of lives that have been sacrificed in order that we might be free to celebrate this day.
July Fourth recognizes this nation’s independence; Nov. 11 honors our veterans. May 30 is reserved for us to pay respect to those fellow Americans who have given their lives in the conflicts that gave us liberty and kept America free.
The very real reason for all Americans to pause and pay tribute to the men and women who have died in the service of our country is to remind ourselves that freedom isn’t free. Sometimes, it takes more than paying your taxes and singing the national anthem at football games to guarantee the opportunity to be critics of government and elected leaders.
As a nation, we are more often distracted by the commercialism of this special rememberance. A few years ago we started talking about the “greatest generation” and the spirit it showed in helping win World War II. Between Dec.1, 1941 and Dec. 31, 1946, more than 16.1 million people served in the uniform of the United States. More than 210,000 were women. More than a half-million Americans gave their lives; honor them.
It was less than eight years ago that more than 3,000 Americans were killed by a handful of terrorists whose only reason was that we are free and they hate us for it. Patriotism flourished in the aftermath of the cowardly acts of Sept. 11, 2001. The spirit of sacrifice and the realization that it was indeed a war declared on us that day – one that will not end with a parade down 5th Avenue with bands playing and flags waving – appears to have faded in the minds of too many.
It has been my privilege to stand with a small group in Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day of our Bicentennial Year as President Gerald Ford laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
When the president stepped back and saluted, there were tears in his eyes. As the last notes of “Taps” echoed across those hallowed grounds, there wasn’t a dry eye within a mile.
Young Americans have died this week, probably even today, so that we can be free.
Memorial Day: a time to remember and honor all those who have died for our country so that we may live.
May
21
Making a Difference
Filed Under American Patriotism | Comments Off on Making a Difference
National Veterans Awareness Ride: Day 3 Friday May 15
Posted on the NVAR website: www.nvar.us
We started the ride today at 7:45 a.m. We lost one rider who returned home but picked up a new one. The weather was very cool after a rain front passed through last night. However, it was sunny and rain free by morning. The morning was uneventful for our 1st and second gas stops. Our third gas stop in Laramie, WY was rather spectacular. We were met there by 32 additional riders from the surrounding area and from Cheyenne. Also joining us was Vince and the Snyder Freight Line Freedom Rider Semi. What a beautifully Painted truck it is. Vince will be going all the way to the wall with us. The line of riders and support vehicles stretched for ¼ mile traveling the 60 miles to Cheyenne. We were met by a police escort on I-80 at Cheyenne and taken to the VA Hospital. As we pulled into the circle drive we noticed the flags flying at half mast. It was in honor and recognition of the fallen police officers of the area. The circle drive was lined with 11 American flags and the grass area had a small flag in the ground for each Vet that died at the hospital last year. It was a very impressive tribute. Tony Seahorn, a very highly decorated Vietnam Vet was the guest speaker. He presented a very moving tribute about some of his experiences in Vietnam and about honoring those who were never accounted for or returned alive. He & his wife co-authored a book called Tears of a Warrior, which is about their family’s story of combat and living with PTSD. His wife Janet, who is a Ph.D read us a poem entitled Angels of Steel. Janet wrote and dedicated this poem to the NVAR, stating “it will never be published for sale in any format”. It is strictly for honoring what we are doing. I wish it were not so long as I would love to share it with all who read this. It is so beautiful and moving it brought many to tears. Check out the web sight www.tearsofawarrior.com. After the ceremony we had a detail place a wreath among the flags of the honored dead, with taps and a 21 gun salute to follow. My friend for the day became Norman. He is a 29 ½ year air force Veteran. After retiring, he became a nurse and worked at the Cheyenne VA before becoming a patient at the home there. Norman had a brother who was a helicopter pilot and was killed in Vietnam. I found out most of this information from his wife who visits Norman every single day. We finished our day off at VFW Post 1881 with a very tasty spaghetti dinner and presented many well deserved certificates of appreciation.
May
20
To Honor and Give Thanks
Filed Under American Patriotism | Comments Off on To Honor and Give Thanks
President Barack Obama signed and issued a proclamation designating May 17, 2009 as Armed Forces Day:
“Today, the United States military serves across the world to keep us safe. They are working here at home to protect America from threats foreign and domestic; they are risking their lives in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan; and they are also serving bravely in many other parts of the world to ensure our security and provide humanitarian assistance. Members of the Armed Forces are forging a better future for our Nation and the world.
As they carry out their missions, military families endure the sacrifice of their absence. Worrying about their safety, moving to new duty stations, and managing a home without a loved one, these families shoulder great burdens as they help sustain our men and women in uniform… The Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines, and Coastguardsmen who have answered the call to service deserve recognition and gratitude. They have endured the most difficult of conditions to protect America and her highest ideals.”
Last week, Tony and I visited several veteran homes and hospitals to give out copies of our book, Tears of a Warrior. It is always a humbling experience to see the price of Freedom in the broken bodies, minds, and hearts of our fellow military men/women. Not one person complained about his circumstances. Not one of these veterans declared that, if they had to do it over again, he would choose not to serve their country. The price many veterans pay for that service was and is incredible high. It does not end when the war is over. It remains a part of that person’s heart for life. Perhaps, we in the human race will find more appropriate ways to settle our differences. Ways that will not necessitate killing, maiming, and destroying each other. Perhaps, leaders across the world will be able to solve conflicts in a more humane manner. Perhaps, the world will grow more compassionate and caring and peace will actually be a part of every person’s existence. But until that time comes, let us not forget what we, as a nation, owe to those men and women who serve to protect our freedom, our peace, and our families.
May
12
National Veterans Awareness Ride
Filed Under American Patriotism | 2 Comments
On May 15, Tony & Jan were asked to be the guest speakers at the National Veterans Awareness Ride as the participants visit the VA Hospital in Cheyenne. The ride begins in California and culminates in Washington DC on Memorial Day in remembrance of all MIAs, POWs, and Veterans who have served their country. Following is a poem that Jan wrote and dedicated to the riders of the special occasion:
Angels of Steel
The angels cry when warriors die,
In distant lands where troubles lie.
Where sadness grows with each new day
and sorrow is not far away.
We fly on planes to reach this place
where death abides within its space.
There is no choice where I may fight
I only trust that it be right.
Each day I wake and say a prayer
to keep us safe and in God’s care.
Yet, knowing well some will not live
and others may not soon forgive.
The wop, wop, wop of copter blades
will drop their cargo, then they fade.
Into the distant sky they fly
with lifeless bags inside do lie.
Like steel angels from above
they bring supplies, our families’ love.
And carry wounded from the field
to places where they may be healed.
So many lost, did not return,
Their final end we’ve never learned.
For years we looked without success,
perhaps today they are at rest.
The scars remain within my soul
that haunts my mind and leaves a hole.
Where once the innocence of youth
was buried by the wrath of Zeus.
The bloody battles the heart must bear,
the mind cannot forget the terror.
But life goes on and must exist
for strength and honor to persist.
Across our country warriors ride
on bikes of steel with humbled pride,
To honor those who gave so much
and not forget the world they’ve touched.
The flag of glory they carry high
Through miles and miles of endless sky,
Reminding all of freedom’s costs,
this hallowed message must not be lost.
And angels cry when warriors die,
In distant lands where troubles lie.
They hold the hope that peace will be
through freedom and democracy.
Janet J. Seahorn, PhD.
May
8
A few weeks ago, during a book publication meeting, I met a lovely lady, Lois Hjelmstad, who had written a book, Fine Black Lines, of reflections of how she survived cancer told in journal entries, reflections, poetry, and photographs. One of her poems reflected what many veterans and their families have experienced when living with PTSD. Since many of life’s challenges have “emotional” similarities, I thought our blog readers might find this particular selection meaningful.
It’s best to act normal…
To say, “I’m just fine.”
What everyone wants is
A positive sign.
Just smile and say thank you
When people will ask.
One mustn’t let on that
Each day is a task.
Friends keep on calling…
You know they mean well.
But really they’d rather
For you not to tell
Each symptom, each detail,
Each wearisome day.
Or mention that small fear
You can’t drive away.
An illness gets tiring…
For them and for you.
The difference is simple…
They get to quit.
( © 2003 Lois Hjelmstad)
303.781.8974
Wouldn’t it be great if, when the demons appear, one could simply say, “I Quit”, and everything would be normal? The reality of the situation is that warriors Never Quit, they keep on going no matter what battles they are waging. For that, my friends, is the very essence of a true warrior.
Apr
29
Angels Among Us
Filed Under Treating PTSD | 2 Comments
It was almost night again. He got through one more day, but it’s the nights that we worry about. He gave us all of his guns, just to be safe; yet, we all silently understood that life could easily be disposed of in many ways. A life that seemed to have lost its joy, its hope, its sense of purpose. The year before he discovered he had prostate cancer. Surgery took care of future problems in that area. Shortly after that he lost his wife. Divorce can be devastating – feeling even more so than death, because your loved one is gone. Gone of her own free will, finally realizing that enough is enough. His sense of worth and caring is now at an all-time low. A few months later he came down with a serious case of West Nile virus. His body’s ravaged immune system made it impossible for him to work; he lost his job. Too much loss in so little time left his life tested by all the ghosts of the past – the ghosts from a place long ago, a place called Vietnam. The question ever present was how could he sustain the pain, grief, the disease? It was a question that kept all of us awake through the darkness. Something needed to be done to help him feel life was worth living. And this is when the miracle occurred. An angel appeared in the form of a soft, uncoordinated, four-legged, black Labrador who was given the earthly name, Wyatt. The small cherub gave unconditional love and joy. Now, when the lonely man woke in the night, the angel’s crazy antics made him laugh; something he hadn’t done in a very long time. The angel gave him a chance at a new beginning, a new existence beyond the solitude. This new place was called Hope.
Animals have a way of helping us through our trauma. Dogs, horses, cats… it really doesn’t matter just as long as the heart connection is made. The mental health professionals call it “animal therapy”. I call this, “Angels Among Us”.
(In our prior blog, one of our readers related his “angel” story as follows):
“For years and years I would constantly be told to “let go” or “forget about it” when it came to Vietnam. No one understood that I had relentlessly tried that, but it wouldn’t let go of me. For many years I managed to drink away many of the symptoms; unfortunately, that worked too well and I became addicted to my ‘medication’. I learned why that worked and was told by Dr Palmer that if he could prescribe any one medication that we both knew worked, it was alcohol, “but the side affects are a bitch” he said.
So, since 1996 I have been soberly searching for ways to handle the distress and disjointed aberrations of PTSD. As a result, I have found that immediate changes of venue, (physical location) and distraction help me to regain some steadiness. My second reliance is my dog, Babe, an Airedale that notices everything. She has awakened me during nightmares and licks me in the middle of the night if she detects something is not right with me. In exchange, I rely on her to know the safety of my surroundings. When she is calm there is no need for me to be alarmed.” (Mike MacDonald)
Angels calm our worst nightmares. They help us feel safer, saner – protected by a celestial, loving presence. We become braver because of their undying devotion. Yes, there are many angels among us, and they are called Chase, Bailey, Wyatt, Cody, and Babe…
Apr
26
Reflecting on a Comment
Filed Under Treating PTSD | 1 Comment
Before I begin this blog I want to sincerely thank all of you who are following our book and providing feedback. I am well aware of the time it takes to stay aligned with a variety of online communication. It is humbling to know that individuals and families are finding our website helpful, and we are truly grateful for your comments.
Michelle Rosenthal, a reader of our April 15th blog, commented that she liked the last line:
“If we send them, then we must mend them.”
This has been our motto and theme throughout the book and certainly needs to be fully endorsed by our military, our country, our leaders, and our communities. What was thoughtful about Michelle’s comment was her last line where she asked, “How do we mend them in a way that does not inappropriately bend them?” And that, Michelle, is a billion dollar question – one for which I do not have a tangible response. Yet, I can say this, the solution lies in making a difference – one individual at a time. Healing does not fit every military experience or veteran the same. There are far too many variables. However, a few constants will be required: relentless determination to getting better, standing up and trying again even when staying down seems much easier, support from a variety of people (family, friends, the VA…), and most of all a deep feeling of being loved and worthy of love, when at times we feel quite alone.
For those of us living with someone suffering from PTSD, love does not mean accepting or condoning inappropriate behavior from either person. It means putting proper boundaries on our actions, without battering each other. It means that we love and trust each other enough to know that we can get better and want to get better. It means we believe the relationship is worth the effort, the pain, and frustration as long as there is progress toward emotional healing. And in the end, the mending will more than likely require a bit of bending. Perhaps it is only through the “bending” that genuine healing can take place. The key word in Michelle’s comment was “appropriate” bending. In a heavy wind a tree bends – that is a good thing. I’m simply trusting that the tree will sustain the storm because its roots are deep and firmly grounded in an earth that holds tightly to its foundation. Hopefully, if our spiritual and emotional roots are deep and far reaching, perhaps we can and will sustain the storm within. Nothing is impossible.
Apr
15
What Others Say About PTSD
Filed Under PTSD treatment | 3 Comments
In the last few months I have written about characteristics and effects of PTSD. Some of the information came from years of living with someone with PTSD. Some of it came from over a decade of research. And, some of the information was the result of interviews carried out over the last eight years with families, vets, and civilian populations. A recent blog focused on “What I know for Sure” about this illusive, emotional oppressor and I ended with a comment from a newspaper article where an Iraq veteran stated that admitting he had served in Iraq or Afghanistan was like the plague because employers were apprehensive about hiring vets with PTSD. Reading this put me into a very philosophical guilt trip. We are trying to educate communities, veterans, families and friends about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. However, by no means is the information meant to make the vet look incompetent or out of control. PTSD is like any other challenge. Most of the conflict occurs within the person, and behind closed doors. For the most part, few people outside the immediate family have little if any idea of the torment and struggle going on within the individual.
While driving to Wyoming last week, I read an article in Scientific American by David Dobbs (April 2009) titled, “The Post-Traumatic Stress Trap”. The main idea of this piece centered on “a growing number of experts insist that the concept of post-traumatic stress disorder is itself disordered and that soldiers are suffering as a result” (p. 64). As I read the piece I both agreed and disagreed with what Mr. Dobbs wrote. There is no doubt that many people showing symptoms of any type of illness or disorder may be misdiagnosed, and when this occurs treatments are not only ineffective, but may even be harmful to the patient. PTSD is no exception. Just diagnosing, it can be tricky because its symptoms can mask other ailments such as depression, memory problems, and traumatic brain injuries. A helpful statement by Mr. Dobbs reminded the reader that for many vets returning from combat, normal readjustment may take months and even a few years to get back to regular existence. “Seeing most post-combat distress not as a disorder but as part of normal, if not painful, healing” (p. 68), may take some of the stigma away from the trauma of combat.
All of that is fine. Yet, as a researcher, I also know that for those who are misdiagnosed, many may never be identified due to lack of nearby medical facilities or lack of awareness. The last point Mr. Dobbs made, and I believe it is legitimate, refers to revising the rubric for more accurately diagnosing of PTSD. At any rate, the real challenge continues to be accurate identification of PTSD, effective treatment options, and correct information to increase awareness. PTSD is far more than a mere “adjustment” problem. The sufferer and the family need immediate and appropriate interventions if restorative health is to be obtained. As a nation, we have our work cut out for us, because a nation that forgets it warriors, fails its moral and humanitarian obligations to restore to physical and emotional health those it sends into battle. We must always take action; we must always remember that “If we send them, we must mend them”.
Apr
9
What I Know Now About PTSD
Filed Under Treating PTSD | Comments Off on What I Know Now About PTSD
I thought some of you following our blog might like to read the few things I have learned in almost forty years of living with someone who has PTSD. The list is brief because I chose to focus on What I Know from years of experience, so here they are:
PTSD is an invisible ghost that appears in one’s emotional life at the most unexpected times.
- It is almost impossible to identify all of the triggers – i.e., things that remind the senses: sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell of the past trauma.
- PTSD is the second war the individual must fight once home and it is sometimes even more challenging to succeed.
- This second war can be as hideous as the first. It is often manifested in common places and homes of the veteran. It affects the entire family – parents, siblings, spouses, children….
- PTSD is like throwing a huge rock in the middle of a quiet pond. The ripples extend far beyond the rock’s impact. In many cases the displacement seems to suck everything in its path into a black hole where normal life disappears entirely.
- Ignoring PTSD symptoms does not make them go away. They continue to fester.
- And most hopeful, PTSD can be managed. It can be effectively controlled, but only if the person affected admits there is a problem. As with most problems, awareness is the first step to healing. Taking steps to get the appropriate help, taking the responsibility for the situation, and doing something to heal is absolutely the best, and sometimes the only viable way to move through the life journey with better emotional and physical health.
- One last comment to employers — A person who has fought in combat and served his/her country honorable will definitely serve your organization/company in equal fashion. He/she will be committed to the work and fellow workers. He will be focused on the task at hand and will be relentless in making sure that the job is done well. She will pay attention to the details as well as the big picture. He will be a dependable asset to your organization. And most of all, she deserves the opportunity to have a normal, prosperous, and stable life after what she gave to our country and to us.
Mike MacDonald of the Black Lions CO C 2/28, ’68-69’responded to this recent blog and I thought it was worth adding:
“Demonstrated Team Player” – I run a small company and there are certain things I automatically know about Vets. They can be as disciplined as they need be, are team players, accept direction, are usually task oriented and conscientious.” Thanks, Mike for your comments.
Mar
31
The 15th annual Colorado Independent Publishers Association (CIPA) EVVY Book Awards Banquet was held Saturday March 28th. Tears of a Warrior won two awards. Tears of a Warrior won 1st Place EVVY Award (overall book design, writing, editing and production) in the Non-Fiction/Experiences category. Authors Tony and Janet Seahorn had a previously scheduled engagement and were not able to attend the event but they were both very honored to receive the award. Karen Saunders, owner of MacGraphics Services accepted on their behalf. Graphic designer Kerrie Lian won a 2nd Place Tech award for her compelling book cover design. Kerrie also designed the interior of the book. Karen Reddick contributed with editing and Mary Walewski is working with the authors in marketing the book.
(buythebookmarketing.com)
(Left) Karen Saunders, founder MacGraphics Services & Kerrie Lian, graphic designer