Aug

19

GAINING WISDOM

Filed Under Tears of a Warrior, Veterans, Vietnam Today, War, Wisdom | Comments Off on GAINING WISDOM

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

In the space between an end and a new beginning, life unfolds and we are given a greater understanding of the meaning of our journey.

            So what is wisdom? How do I get it? How can I recognize it? Some would describe wisdom as insight, a type of intelligence gained from age, good judgment, level headedness, and knowledge. In my many years I have observed children who seem to have an inner knowing and awareness of the world far beyond their years and I have seen adults who have the impulse control and selfishness of a two year old.

            For most of us, we may not always recognize wisdom but we pretty much know when someone does not possess it. Many of the wisest individuals that I know did not gain this trait by living an easy life. Indeed, much of their insight came after living and enduring a great many experiences, both good and difficult. My neighbor, Mary, who is now 104 years young, is a true example of a wise person. She grew up raised by a single mother after her father abandoned the family when she was a child. Her first husband died of a heart attack leaving her with four young children. Life was hard, but she kept working to support her children and herself. There was no time for complaining, only time for doing. Another trait Mary holds is a way of looking at the world in a positive manner. This is not to say she didn’t have her difficult moments, but she didn’t allow these times to last long. As she states, “I didn’t have enough energy to waste it on being negative. I had children to raise and work to do”.

            So many of our veterans have the “Mary Factor”. War took much of their youth and innocence but it never took their will to go on, to live a productive life, to contribute to their communities and families. Life after combat has not been easy, yet it has given these warriors a sense of personal knowledge, and insight into the world.  Many people who have endured far less do not always develop this trait. Veterans have a different kind of wisdom regarding the world and freedom. They understand sacrifice and pain, but most make a conscious choice to focus on more productive things. And they understand the wisdom of this old Rwandan Proverb:

You can outdistance that which is running  after  you, but not what is running inside you.”

            And so, like Mary, most of us struggle to come to terms with the inside running, and such a journey collects its own wisdom.

Aug

14

WHEN NEEDED, CHOOSE PERSISTENCE

Filed Under Tears of a Warrior, Troops, War | Comments Off on WHEN NEEDED, CHOOSE PERSISTENCE

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

 

What is it that keeps someone going when everyone else seems to be giving up? We hear about such individuals on television, read about them in magazines, and if we are really lucky, we even know a few personally. When trying to put together some common traits of these resolute beings, it is interesting to see what it is that keeps them going.

For some it is religion; a deep faith in a higher source that is walking the journey of a demanding life with them. For others it is more about spirit than religion – spirit being defined as the vital force that characterizes a human being as being alive or a sense of self and energy. Yet, for many it is as simple as living for a cause that is greater than the personal comfort of the self. The vast amount of veterans we have been around have a profound abundance of this trait. Perhaps living beyond oneself came as a result of serving their country even when it meant the possibility of death, bodily injuries, and emotional distress.

In combat, soldiers woke up every morning to face a foe that was ever present. Seeing the price of war and dealing daily with personal losses was a constant of their battle experience. There was no such thing as giving-up or giving-in because it meant that it would let their fellow troops down.

Perhaps the greatest battle for many is when they return home. The challenge of trying to reintegrate into a community which has essentially been isolated from war. Families, spouses, children, friends, coworker – most are truly grateful for the warrior’s sacrifice. We try to understand, to be patient and encouraging, yet, there is absolutely no way any of us who have not been in a combat situation can fully comprehend such devastating experiences.

Therefore, choosing persistence is an option that allows the person to move forward. It is a choice that the vet must make every day. It is a choice that spouses, children, families, and friends must make every day. And it is a choice that Winston Churchill proposed in his statement… “Never give in, never, never, never — in nothing, great or small —- never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.”

And this is the true essence of persistence. And last, a very special quote from Winnie the Pooh,

Promise me you’ll always remember: You are braver than you believe,

And Stronger than you seem,

And smarter than you think.

(A.A. Milne)