Aug

6

WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION

Filed Under Aging, Brody, Dog is God, Dogs, Joy Challenge, Pets, Service Dogs, Tears of a Warrior, Trooper, WMD | Comments Off on WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION

 

By Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D.

 

Recently I bought a WMD (Weapon of Mass Destruction).  It was something Tony and I have discussed and thought about for a very long time.  Getting a hold of a WMD can be expensive and usually requires some research about the seller, type, even color.  There are days I question my decision as well as my sanity.  Was this choice a wise move or one made in a moment of weakness or total impulsiveness?

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My home has been transformed into a combat zone.  I can’t leave for even a few minutes or the destruction could be massive.  This weapon can’t be left alone for any length of time.  It must stay in a secure and yet environmentally comfortable space.  Neighbors and friends sometimes stop over just to get a peek at it.  Some admire it and others are afraid to get too close just in case it might detonate itself. Some may also wonder why I would get such an item at my age and stage in life.  There are days I ask myself the same question; other times I merely feel bad that they don’t possess such a handsome and amazing weapon.

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The weapon often gives me a sense of comfort just to know it is there, to touch it, to think about its remarkable potential. I may have failed to mention that even though my WMD is pretty wonderful it was and is not inexpensive. Proper nutrition, check-ups to make sure it is in tip top working condition, enough exposure to clean air, etc.   Trooper, Tony’s service dog often wonders why we ever brought such an item into our peaceful home.  He wants to know if and when we might take it back. You see, Trooper has to watch it very carefully just in case it explodes as it frequently does at any unexpected moment.  He never had to put up with such an object even when he was being raised in prison and his training never included how to deactivate such a WMP.

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By now you may be guessing what I’m talking about, or you may know exactly what I’m describing. It has four-legs, a silky black coat, incredibly sharp baby teeth that can shred a stuffed toy or slipper in a matter of minutes. This four-legged, miniature tornado has wallpapered my front room with toilet paper reminding me of the shenanigans we did in high school when we toilet papered friends’ trees leaving them to clean up after our mess.  Maybe he is retribution for my younger days.  Even with all of these challenges this WMP is so friggin adorable especially when he is asleep.  We even gave him a name, Brody… short for brother.

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It is fascinating how we can so totally love this destructive little ####.  Tony sometimes asks why Trooper is such a super sweet, well-behaved young man. I remind him Trooper was raised in prison where there weren’t a lot of opportunities for a puppy to get into trouble. There were no kitchen counters with food where he could have managed to remove the yummy contents.  Probably there weren’t many smelly slippers to destroy, and if you misbehave there may have been bigger consequences.  WOW…. Maybe I can send Brody to jail for at least a year of training. Confinement might not be as exciting for him, but it would give us a much needed rest.  Trooper is extremely in favor of this idea.

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Nov

20

Being Grateful

Filed Under American Patriotism, Combat PTSD, Dog is God, Dogs, Family, Giving, Grace, Grateful, Holiday Season, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving, Trooper | Comments Off on Being Grateful

By Janet & Tony Seahorn
Thanksgiving 2018
Hard to believe another year has passed. Hopefully, your year was pretty awesome, filled
with amazing adventures and loving memories. For others, it may have been a year filled with
vast challenges. Yet, for most of us the year was probably a combination of both…. joy and
heartache, peace and chaos, and, at times, unforeseen losses and extraordinary blessings. For us
in each of these moments we were always surrounded by amazing family members, friends, and
many special strangers that came forth to shed light in darkness and serenity in daily miracles.
Family
As we begin the holiday season with Thanksgiving we wanted to take a few moments to
be grateful. Grateful for the love and health of our family. Grateful for old and new friends that
we felt support and gentleness during some pretty rough days. Grateful for spiritual strength that
kept us moving through these days and showed us how fortunate we were even on those days
when we only felt at a loss.
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We often forget to be grateful for good health until we lose it. We often forget to be
grateful for our food until we are hungry or grateful for the warmth of our homes until we are
homeless. We often forget to be grateful for our first responders who make life safer for each of
us. And most often in our busy days we forget to be grateful for all our veterans and their
families – past, present, and future, who sacrificed much so that Americans can live in a country
where we have so many freedoms that many places in our world live without.
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This year we are grateful for each of our joys, our struggles, what we have and what we
miss. Recently we have been grateful for the addition of our new service dog from NEADS,
Trooper 1760.

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Mar

28

Missing Bailey

Filed Under Bailey, Dog is God, Dogs, Family, Happiness, Heroes, Hope, Joy Challenge, Life, Love, Pets, PTSD, Service Dogs, Tears, Tears of a Warrior, Tears of Joy, Veterans, War Dogs, Wounded Veterans, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on Missing Bailey

By Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

 

 

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Loss presents a unique and somewhat ambiguous dilemma for humans. Those left behind
are confronted with a stream of untapped emotions. Life lingers between two spaces – the space
of the past when everything was normal, and the space that floats somewhere between what was then
and what is now. The present doesn’t feel like the present because we don’t want to accept the
reality of what has been lost and what will be our daily routine as we struggle to get through the
minutes of each day. It’s like being stuck in quicksand; you continually struggle to find footing,
while being surrounded by uncontrollable emotions.
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Your heart and mind are trapped. Facing the circumstances of the loss is agonizing, yet
you understand that staying in such a dark place will not honor the love and life of your beloved
4-legged family member nor is it healthy for the sufferer.
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Rest for the moment is unattainable. Sleep comes with too many dreams that are both happy and sorrowful.
Laughter, joy, even hunger stands frozen.
Moving forward isn’t yet attainable. However, we know eventually we can travel beyond the
yesterdays and focus on the tomorrows.

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Right now we don’t know how to do that. Still we are hopeful we will get there sooner or
later. Remaining stuck is not an option. It is too sad, too tumultuous. Most of all staying in such
deep grief does not nor will not allow us to celebrate and honor the amazing gift we were given
through Bailey.
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He was our “Joy Boy”. He would want us to wake each morning with delight and be grateful for all that stands before us.

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He would want us to continue to love, to celebrate the moment of throwing a bright green tennis ball or plunge into the lake for a marvelous swim.
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He would want us to be fully alive enjoying the wonders of each day especially remembering the wet kisses of his long, sticky tongue.
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He would want us to be his “joy” parents.
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We promise we will get to that point, Bailey. Just not today.
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Love,
Mom and Dad

Mar

11

Best Friends

Filed Under Aging, American Patriotism, Combat PTSD, Dog is God, Dogs, Happiness, Healing, Military, Pets, PTSD, Service Dogs, TBI & PTSD, Tears of a Warrior, Tribute, Veterans, War, War Dogs, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on Best Friends

Guest Blog by John DiCiacco

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I dedicate my short story to all the Men and Women that came home from
war and discovered that the War and all its tragic memories came home
with them.
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Did you ever wonder why God spelled backwards is Dog.  I used to ponder
that thought a great deal, that is until I met my first Service Dog
Wyatt.  Named him after Wyatt Earp.  Wyatt was not a Registered Service
Dog you see and he didn’t go to School and get a Degree to be a Service
Dog.  To me, though, Wyatt was much more than a Service Dog.  He was my
Savior, my Salvation and he was given to me by God.
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Wyatt came into my Life about Sixteen Years ago and until his death at
only Eleven he remained a Faithful Companion and Confident.  As a
Vietnam Veteran living with PTS, Wyatt was my Soul Mate, so when he
crossed over, a part of me had died as well.  Worse yet, many of the
emotions I felt when I came home in February 1970 was suddenly staring
me in the face.  Guilt, abandonment, distrust and yes, even anger.  I
threatened to crawl into the bottle again, that is until Wyatt showed up
in a vision and I remembered how good my life was with Wyatt Dog and
God.
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I now have another service dog that ditched school altogether and
became home schooled just like his older brother, Wyatt.  His name is
Mato, which means “Bear” in the Lakota Indian Language.  The “Bear” has
recently turned five and yes, Mato has taken up the legacy of what Wyatt
had meant to me in the past and together we are making our own memories.
Did I mention that both Wyatt and Mato are labs and both of them are
black.
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Life is good with God and Dog.
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The following words come from a short tune I heard a while back and it
is dedicated to dogs.
“You are my Buddy, my Pal and my Friend, so wherever you go I just want
you to know you are my Buddy, my Pal and my Friend.”
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In memory of another God/Dog, my beautiful nephew, Bailey.  Bailey
crossed over this February and Bailey was the proud service dog to his
Buddy, Pal and fFriend, Tony.  By the way, Bailey was also a black lab.
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One of Gods Great Gifts.
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God Bless You and God Bless America.
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Mar

1

Settling into the Year 2018

Filed Under Aging, American Patriotism, Bless Our Troops, Courage, Dog is God, Dogs, Family, Happiness, Happy New Year, Journey, Love, Service Dogs, TBI & PTSD, Tears, Tears of a Warrior, Veterans | Comments Off on Settling into the Year 2018

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

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Now that we’re well into the New Year, and thinking about moving forward into a year of fresh beginnings. Remembering and preserving old friendships, being aware and grateful for an abundance of goodness, people, health and purposeful work that occupy our days can offer a sense of optimism. Yet, most important, having a richness of love in our lives – love of family (yes, even those that sometimes drive us nuts), love (and loss) of endearing pets, love of neighbors and friends, and love of something within and above us that help to guide us through the darkness.

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For some that light may be almost infinitesimal dim.  Bob Woodruff, a well-known journalist and author who suffered a devastating brain injury from an IED while covering the military in Iraq wrote in his book “In an Instant“, “First you must touch the black and then go back up to the light.” It was his way of “acknowledging that you have to let the fear in, but to dwell on the fear will only cripple you. You need to move back into a world of hope.”

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There is no denying that 2017 was a year of great challenges and loss for many, and 2018 hasn’t been easier with the recent death of our beloved service dog, Bailey. Family members, treasured pets and very dear friends are no longer with us. Saying goodbye has never been easy even when we recognize that it is for the best (at least for that loved one).

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However, we are trying hard to center on the plentiful blessings in our lives. The old saying, “It is just as easy to focus on being positive as it is to be negative”, every so often can seem like a big bowl of crap.  Advice to the reader – listening can be more important than trying to comfort an individual by making comments such as “Suffering builds character”.  I’ve never believed that old cliché.  I think suffering reveals character more than builds it. Sometimes, we simply need to allow ourselves and others to grieve, to be sad, and to nurture our physical and emotional selves.

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Nonetheless, I still believe that life is worth the time to live fully and with resolve.  I still believe that most people are generous and decent.  I still believe that compassion trumps unkindness and hate generates more cruelty in a world already filled with too much bitterness.  I still believe that truth is more important than ever to counteract the deceit and false narratives of which others try to convince us. And, more than ever, I still believe in hope, for without hope it would be hard to wake up each morning with a sense of joyfulness.

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Lastly, for our veterans, first responders and their families we wish you a year filled with peace, prosperity, and well-being.

You’ve sacrificed enough.

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Daily count your blessings and know how precious those special moments can be.

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Now it’s time to enjoy an exceptionally amazing New Year.

 

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Feb

25

IN MEMORY OF HUNTER BAILEY

Filed Under Aging, American Patriotism, Bailey, Courage, Dog is God, Dogs, Family, Heroes, Love, Pets, PTSD, Service Dogs, Tears of a Warrior, Veterans, War Dogs, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on IN MEMORY OF HUNTER BAILEY

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

HUNTER BAILEY of FARGO

11/29/2006 – 02/23/2018

Traveling Wall Original

Hopefully you can bear with me for a bit. It will take several days and even more attempts to get
my thoughts and feelings down into some understandable form. As I try to write tonight through my
tears it has now been one day, seven hours and 47 minutes since we had to put our beloved lab and
service dog, Hunter Bailey, to sleep.
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To say our hearts are broken and we are sad is too simplistic. We can’t put into words the entire impact of this loss.
It took us so suddenly. We had no time to prepare.
We took Bailey into the Colorado State Veterinary Hospital at 8 a.m. Friday morning, and left without
him later that afternoon.
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For over six hours we sat and waited for some news on Bailey and his tests. It became evident
four hours later that something wasn’t quite right. We couldn’t get any updates and were told that the
doctors were still reviewing the tests. Finally, around 2:15 in the afternoon the doctors met with us. We
could tell by their faces something was wrong, but mostly Bailey wasn’t with them, which has never
happened on past exams.
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Moving to a small room, we were told that Bailey had prostate cancer that had
moved through his entire body. Since he had been neutered as a young dog, this was highly unusual.
There was nothing they could do to stop it. The cancer had spread too far for any surgery and no
medications would be effective at this stage of development.
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Our shock made it difficult to process or ask appropriate questions. The biggest ones were: “Is
he in pain?” Answer: “Yes.” “Can the pain be controlled/managed?” Answer: “Not well.” “How long
might he have?” Answer: “Maybe a month, two at best.” “Would there be quality of life?” Answer:
“Unlikely.” Other problems with clots and small tumors that could move or burst at any time made the
situation even worse.
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Since, in only three short days Bailey began having difficulty walking and having
bowel movements it became clear the cancer had taken over his body and left him in severe pain and
physical distress. We had little choice but to do what was right for our cherished and loyal companion of
eleven years. The decision was beyond gut wrenching. We had no time to process what had happened,
what was happening, and what was the best and most humane course of action for Bailey.
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We now live in a world somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow. We have put away his toys
and blankets. His feeding bowlshave left their space in the house to sit on cold, garage shelves. Sadly, we can’t seem to put away his
time schedule in our minds. Getting up in the morning, taking walks, evening feedings are still present.
Looking for him around the house, especially anytime we eat. These things will dim with time.
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However, Bailey’s love, his joyous spirit, his devoted loyalty and desire to please, and most of all his
tender spirit will remain with us.
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I think it truly is accurate to say, “GOD is DOG, and DOG certainly is GOD”. Thank you, Bailey, for being our precious four-legged child.
You are and forever will be loved and missed.
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Nov

7

5 Reason Why Veterans Need To Be Fishing

Filed Under Brain Injury, Combat PTSD, Dogs, Fishing Therapy, Military, Nature, PTSD, Service Dogs, Tears, Tears of a Warrior | Comments Off on 5 Reason Why Veterans Need To Be Fishing

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Guest Blog by Jon Sutton

 

Author: Travis Pike

Veterans are a unique group of people who face a variety of unique challenges in their lives. As unique as veterans maybe they do share the ability to benefit from an activity as old as civilization. We call it fishing. Here are 5 reasons why Veterans need to get out there and fish more.

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Getting Outside

Something as simple as getting outside and in nature can be a major benefit to your psyche and even your body. Getting outside doesn’t just mean walking out of your home, it means actually getting out in nature.

First, you get better air in the countryside than the city. There is no smoke, smog, or ground level ozone to worry about. As a veteran, you may have been exposed to harsh chemicals, and of course burn pits. Fresh air can help reduce the symptoms of most chronic respiratory illnesses.

You’ll also get a healthy dose of sunshine. Sunshine provides you with a blast of vitamin D, a vitamin associated with bone health. The average adult is likely vitamin D deficient, something I learned from my VA Doctor. A little sunshine can go a long way to long lasting health. That being said, don’t forget the sunscreen, you know what they say about too much of a good thing.

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Getting Physical

PT it’s good for you and good for me. With almost 80% of the veteran population being obese a little PT can likely go a long way. Most people may think of fishing as sitting in a chair and drinking a beer, but they’d be wrong. There is a big difference in fishing and getting buzzed in a boat.

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When you’re fishing you can be involved in any number of strenuous activities, including wading through water, paddling a kayak, and or hiking to a premier fishing location. That’s just to get to you to where you start fishing, from there you start working the shoulder and arms by casting over and over.

Plus, once you get a fish the cardiovascular activity starts as you fight that big boy to the boat or the shore. Watch any fishermen catch a keeper, and look how he sweats and struggles. It may not be as bad a Platoon Sergeant Death Run at 5 a.m. but it’ll get you huffing and puffing.

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Relax a Little

Ah, greeting the great outdoors with a fishing pole in one hand a tackle box in the other is an amazing way to relax. Veterans on average face the stress of everyday life, and with a high percentage of veterans facing stress, depression, and anxiety the ability to relax is sacred. Heck, just talking on the phone with the VA is enough to drive you mad.

Fishing has shown to reduce cortisol, a hormone associated with stress by over 30% for up to a month. A study by the University of Maine showed fishing reduced anxiety, stress, fear, and guilt by a substantial amount for up to 3 weeks in combat veterans.

On top of everything fishing reduces, time in the sunshine has proven to release a chemical known as serotonin. The theory is that serotonin improves moods and triggers happy thoughts.

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Keeps You Sharp

Young veterans face higher rates of TBI than the average population, which can result in reduced levels of cognitive ability. Let’s not forget that the Vietnam generation has reached an advanced age and with age often comes reduced cognitive function.

Fishing provides stimulation to the brain that engages a wide variety of different senses and forces fishers to use reasoning, and make logical assumptions. Fishing also boosts self-esteem and confidence.

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Cause Fish are Delicious

Everyone loves good food, that’s true. This may not be specific to veterans because fish is delicious. Fish is also packed with protein and is low in calories and cholesterol. It’s also full of healthy fats, like Omega 3 acids that help with joint health. Any infantry veteran will tell you their joints suck, so they need all the help they can get.

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Jan

22

PUPPY LOVE AND CRAZINESS

Filed Under Dogs, Pets, PTSD, Service Dogs, Tears, Tears of a Warrior, Wounded Warriors | Comments Off on PUPPY LOVE AND CRAZINESS

by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D

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            So you think you want to bring home a new puppy. You know, one of those wiggly, darling, sweet looking bundles of joy. They appear amazing innocent in the entire plethora of internet pictures, advertisements, and billboards. Yep, you definitely believe one of these adorable, four-legged, loveable, furry cherubs known as “man’s best friend” will enhance your life and look great on your next Christmas card.  And, you aren’t totally oblivious of what it might take to raise one of these creatures.  You’ve had puppies before, of course. You may have been much younger and more patient at the time. 

You understand that this energetic whippersnapper will take a pretty good amount of time to potty train, learn new commands, and not bolt at the first slight opening of every door in your home. Hiding any and every item that might go into the puppy’s mouth including expensive eye glasses could end in an inflated doggy hospital visit – sure to cost you an arm and a leg. This will be essential to your pocket book and your endearing, four-legged child’s health. Oh, and did I mention how much puppies love the leather seats of your new truck’s interior.

 

If your adorable, small creature is going to grow into a huge, muscle bound tank, like my brother’s black lab, Mato, life becomes even more fun to control. Things like not allowing this boiler of energy to greet others, especially children and the elderly, by approaching them like a freight train and jumping full force onto their chests. This will be crucial to avoid unpleasant verbal encounters or even law suits. Of course that once tiny bundle of fur has no clue that he has grown into a ninety pound bruiser of a beast.

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Oh, and don’t forget that if you have other household pets, bringing a new four-legged nipper into the pack will require an immense amount of patience, both for you and your other domestic companion. My brother, John, wanted to have another pal for his aging lab, Wyatt. We did something similar with our beloved older lab, Chase, when we brought Hunter Bailey into our abode, and told John, how Bailey helped bring new life back to Chase’s daily routines. It actually, we believed, gave Chase a new lease on life and kept him agile and healthy for several more years. To be honest, Chase did not fully support this perspective. Bailey, however, kept Chase’s competitive spirit active.  Chase would not allow his new “buddy” to ever get an edge on any ball, bird, or swimming event.

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However, in our limited experience we forgot one significant point. Just like kids, all dogs are not alike, and Mato (Lakota for Bear) was absolutely not like Bailey. Bailey, as the younger dog, was quiet, subservient, and a fairly mild lab compared to when we raised Chase.  Chase was more like Mato, impulsive exhaustingly active, and stubborn as hell. My brother’s older dog, Wyatt, has always been a gentle people pleaser, more like Bailey. Poor, innocent Wyatt had no clue what a new puppy would bring to his world.

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 Today, Wyatt has extreme doggie PTSD from his adopted brother, Mato. Having a huge puppy leaping on him throughout the day, pulling on his ears and legs to induce play, or taking more than one dog’s share of food would be traumatic for any aging canine.

So, what does this story have to do with Post Traumatic Stress of an aging military veteran, one might ask? Bringing a new puppy into your quiet, tranquil home may generate more stress and anxiety than you ever imagined. Just ask my brother, John. He now refers to his beloved puppy, Mato, as a Weapon of Mass Destruction. Need I say more…

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Jul

12

CHASE’S MEADOW

Filed Under Aging, Dogs, Family, Fishing Therapy, Healing Waters, Journey, Life, Love, Peace, Pets, PTSD, Service Dogs, Tears of a Warrior, Tears of Joy, Veterans | Comments Off on CHASE’S MEADOW

by Tony & Janet Seahorn

            The human heart and mind are amazing in their capacity to experience intense sadness and abundant gratitude at the same time. That lump in the throat is still there as are the tears that cloud my eyes. Yet, the weight of the death of our wonderful Chase seems to be a bit lighter.

            Earlier this week, we visited Chase’s most beloved mountain meadow, high on the Snowy Range in southern Wyoming. It is a beautiful, alpine meadow filled with wild flowers and a running brook. This is the place we chose to spread his ashes and place a stone memorial on a wooded ridge overlooking the peaceful valley below. 

            We promised to make this journey after the early summer snow melt and before the wildflowers were in full bloom.

            His very essence now glides in the winds and rolls gently with the flowing water. White and yellow flowers line his final path. He is at peace, as are we. And younger brother Bailey still romps through the brightly colored grasses chasing after his cherished tennis ball – a reminder that joy is always present around and within our souls.

            As we paid our final respects it seemed as if Chase was giving us his final message:

I am now in my meadow; my ashes white as angels’ wings float with the Wind and flow through the mountain streams to places I never ran in life. 

Peace and beauty will always surround me with a green and white and purple blanket of sweet columbines.        

This is where I was finally meant to be.

Therefore, honor me not with tears of sadness, but with hearts of joyfulness.

                              Remember me with stories and laughter.                               

And most of all know that as much as you loved me I loved you even more.

 

Black Forest Chase

April 23, 1999 – January 4, 2013

Jan

5

CHASE’S LAST ROLL CALL

Filed Under Aging, Dogs, Family, Healing, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Service Dogs, Tears, Tears of a Warrior, Tribute | Comments Off on CHASE’S LAST ROLL CALL

 -by Tony & Janet Seahorn

Black Forest Chase:    April 23, 1999 – January 4, 2013

 

Dear Readers, today is an incredible hard day for us. It is a day of celebration, gratitude, patience, letting go, and joy. Today our black lab Chase made his final retrieve. We will miss him dearly. He was our special Wonder Dog and his spirit will remain with us. He loved to fish and bird hunt and guide the raft on its journey downstream. His companionship and love was unconditional and he will never be forgotten. Chase has been our guardian angel calming Tony as he battled with the demons of PTSD. We’ll miss his wonderful presence as we explore new waters and return to familiar haunts. Chase, we know you’ll be happy flushing birds & brookies in the great beyond.

Peace old buddy.

           Many will walk in and out of your life, but only a true friend will leave paw prints on your heart.   ~Anonymous

 

 

My brother, John, sent us this poem earlier this week.  I know it will offer us comfort, but for now we must travel the Road of Tears.

In Memory Of A Beloved Friend

Skidboot:

Born in 1992 and passed on in 2007

 

Touch me with your voice as a puppy young and new,

And let me know my presence is what is pleasing you.

Touch me with your Spirit, for God sent me here to you,

To teach you of that precious bond known only by the choicest few.

Touch me with your hands as I grow tall and strong,

I need you as my mentor throughout my whole life long.

Touch me with your lips, and brush them softly on my brow,

Please kiss away the fears that I am feeling now.

Touch me with your eyes as I become full grown,

To validate unspoken love that we have always known.

Touch me with your heart as our bond keeps growing stronger,

And words need not be used in our language any longer.

Touch me with your breath, so soft and warm upon my face,

As I try to bring you comfort in life’s never ending race.

Touch me with your love when my muzzle turns gray,

I live my life to please you, each and every single day.

Touch me with your scent when age has dimmed my sight,

To reassure me always that you will be my light.

Touch me with your face when your tears are meant for me.

So I may bear your pain and let your heart be free.

Touch me with remembrance when I have traveled on,

And, I will hold your heart in mine forever when I’m gone. 

-Credit  Skidboot-

 

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