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Oct
15
DOES ANYONE CARE?
Filed Under American Patriotism, Tears of a Warrior, Today's War, Trauma, Troops, Veterans, War | Comments Off on DOES ANYONE CARE?
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
It’s been on the news and in the papers – the latest studies about our military personnel serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The studies done by the Pew Research Center were based on two surveys between July and September (Denver Post, Oct. 6, 2011). One survey focused on military individuals who are currently on active duty along with those who have served but are no longer active. The second survey polled over 2000 adults who had never been in the military.
What disturbed me most however was not the report that many of our troops are either “ambivalent” or do not feel the current wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were “worth the sacrifices”. Nope, what was most unsettling for me was that adults polled who had never served in the military did not give much thought to those serving in combat. Many felt that those who volunteered to serve their country knew what they were getting into.
- 84 percent of these modern-era warriors say the general American public has little or no understanding of the problems they face, with 71 percent of the public agreeing.
- Many Americans agree that since the terror attacks in the U.S., the military and their families have made more sacrifices than the general public. But even among this group, only 26 percent say this gap is “unfair,” while 70 percent say that it’s “just part of being in the military”. (msnbc.com staff and news service reports updated 10/5/2011 5:50:40 AM ET 2011-10-05T09:50:40)
I guess this last research bullet just didn’t sit well with me. Probably because as a family we have lived the aftermath of combat, lived with the ghosts of the dead and dying, and had to cope with the nightmares, anxiety attacks, and flashback memories. It isn’t that any vet or his/her family wants empathy for his/her service, but to read that 70% believe that “it’s just part of being in the military” seems like a really insensitive statement.
I am not sure that any person, young or old, has a true idea of what war and combat is about. I am pretty sure, on the other hand, that none of them had any clue that what they do, see, and experience in hell will stay with them for a lifetime. That the war they fought on foreign soils will follow them home and into their living rooms, relationships, and careers. Few of them had any clue that these things were “just part of being in the military”.
Perhaps, since Vietnam, too many Americans have been too far removed from the sacrifices of war. During WWII everyone on the home front had to give up something for the war. Now, most give up nothing, while those few who serve give up far too much. The very least we at home can do is give two or three minutes each day to say a short prayer for those and their families who serve. Just remembering our military will certainly make us, not merely better people, but a more thoughtful, compassionate nation.
Dec
24
A Christmas Poem Video
Filed Under American Patriotism | Comments Off on A Christmas Poem Video
-Written by Michael Marks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_P6yU_ymFM
Jun
11
Advice for When a Soldier is Away
Filed Under Light A Candle | Comments Off on Advice for When a Soldier is Away
What would you do if your spouse or loved one had to leave for a year or more? Not for a new job or long vacation, but to a place where danger abides in guns & rockets, roadside bombs, ambushes, and other mediums of war. Only a small percentage of today’s Americans have experienced this scenario. For those who do, each individual and family survives such an event differently. Knowing the availability of resources can provide comfort and reassurance at home during deployment. Emotional steadiness, from community support to financial security can impact the journey. The first counsel is to remember; no healthy man, woman, or child is an island. The better your posse (group of family & friends) the more likely you will get through the ordeal intact. If you hear a “boogieman in the basement”, know who to call for help. Noises frightened me too. That’s why I am in favor of having a dog as a trusted member of my posse. The four-legged helper does not have to be big, just has to have good listening skills and be yappi enough to provide a good “alarm system”. They also provide comfort during times of need. They can truly be your security blanket!
Next, don’t isolate yourself. Do things you enjoy. Light scented candles for short meditations. Read good books. Go for long walks, take in a fun movie and have lunch with friends. Surround yourself with happy, but compassionate friends. Do something for someone else. It’s hard to focus on your personal problems when you are out there helping another person in need.
Call the military’s Family Support Group. They have resources such as cell phones, internet connections, communication advice, home repair, mental health therapist, etc.
Oh, and for those of you reading this blog who wants to do something for a military person or his/her family, I have listed a few suggestions below:
- Adopt a family of a military deployed person. Take over dinner. Baby-sit for a few hours. Take the spouse or parent to lunch or a movie. Anything that takes some of the pressure off of the ones remaining at home.
- Adopt a soldier. Almost every military person tells tales of how depressing and terrible it is to not get mail or care packages. While many are experiencing a sort of Christmas during mail day, many are left alone, not remembered, and feeling a bit abandoned. It is common knowledge that today’s military individuals do a lot of internet ordering just to get something in the mail when they are away. It’s quite simple, really. The person just wants to feel that his/her sacrifices are noticed and appreciated by someone, somewhere.
- When the soldier returns home, look for ways to support his/her reintegration into civilian life. Find out what he needs or wants. As one vet told us, “Sometimes people give us flowers when we really want chocolate.”
On a recent discussion with deployed family members, a mother wisely counseled us on what most vets and their families want from our country and community: Love, Support, Honor, and Respect………….that’s not much to ask for their sacrifices, don’t you agree?
Jun
2
Fears, Tears, and Funny Facts
Filed Under Tears | 4 Comments
It is Saturday morning and my alarm clock wakes me up. I really want to sleep until my body’s time clock rouses me, but we are going to Cheyenne to watch, listen, and learn how parents, spouses, and community members are dealing with the recent deployment of their 5-state National Guard unit. From 9 in the morning until 2 in the afternoon we heard from spouses, parents, friends, and others who had experienced prior deployments or had a loved one who is now a part of this current operation. Each story was told from a different perspective, yet all voiced similar sentiments of fear, worry, and concern for how to deal with every day life without their loved ones. They talked of pride for the service and dedication the soldiers are giving for their country. Below are just a few of their narratives.
- The Brigadier General gave the introduction of his own earlier deployment and how it made him more appreciative for the beauty of the common landscape of Wyoming. The freshness of new grasses in a meadow. The smell of wildflowers and warm sunshine instead of Iraq’s dust and withering heat. And, as he was driving to the meeting, he had the special gift of seeing a mother antelope give birth to its newborn fawn. From the dreadfulness of the combat zone to the miracle of new life, one is constantly reminded of the beauty of America.
- A husband and wife chatted about their experiences. The discovery of hidden strengths, the challenges of fixing leaky pipes and broken cars, and the difficulty of not being able to see and hold one another at the beginning and end of each day. Other funny facts they shared:
- How the military takes care of every need and item in your life including your relationships, “If we wanted you to have a wife, we would have issued you one.”
- MRE which is the acronym for “Meals Ready to Eat” to what he thought they really are – “Meals Refusing to Exit”
- Another spouse spoke of how she now refuses to attend any “good-bye” ceremonies. She has done this before and learned that, for her, it was far better to say her farewells at home. Watching the panic of small children holding onto their parent’s pant legs and crying, “Please don’t leave me”. Wives weeping, sad faces, the combat exit…all were a bit too much. She gave herself and others permission to make choices that preserve their fragile emotional state.
- One young women told of how, shortly after she learned that her husband would be deployed for a second time, had a devastating stroke. She is working her way back to health with the support of family and friends. It is important that her husband not worry about how she is healing while he needs to be focused on completing and surviving his mission in Iraq and Kuwait.
Yes, the stories and the story tellers are linked together by their common situation, a situation of having a loved one living in a combat zone thousands of miles from home. A situation which requires those left at home to be braver, stronger, more responsible and independent than ever before. It seemed as if a mantra could be heard throughout the day: “I’m handling it – whatever “it” is or will be.” And they are not alone, for going through the next year will be easier with a solid base of friends, families, supportive communities, and the attentive resources from the military.