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May
29
Memorial Day Remembrance
Filed Under American Patriotism, Combat PTSD, Memorial Day, Tears of a Warrior, War | Comments Off on Memorial Day Remembrance
Remembering All Who Gave Their Lives For Their Country!
A special tribute to a Marine:
http://00f2630.netsolhost.com/farewellmarine.html
May
28
THANK YOU FOR SERVING
Filed Under American Patriotism, Dogs, Events, Memorial Day, PTSD, PTSD treatment, Tears of a Warrior, Veterans, War, Wisdom | Comments Off on THANK YOU FOR SERVING
by Janet J. Seahorn, Ph.D
Such a simple phrase stated on too few occasions by too few individuals.
During our travels we get opportunities to visit some special places that offer discounts or free admission to veterans. Most of the time people are pretty gracious. Then there are those situations where the “keeper of the gate” are, in my opinion, just plain ignorant on how to treat veterans.
We have heard stories over and over again on this topic. Some are quite sad, while others are pretty darn funny. On one recent occasion we were visiting a National Park. Tony was asked to show the gatekeeper his driver’s license along with other proof of identity. He had already given her his National Park’s Access Pass for Disabled Vets along with his VA Identification card with picture and signature. Animals with embedded ID’s aren’t scrutinized as rigidly. After all the ID confirmations, she could clearly see he had more than provided adequate identification, yet she still insisted on seeing his driver’s license and two other forms of identification with his signature on it.
This scenario that was absurdly comical. Yet, another part was perfectly annoying. After we jumped through the “gate keeper’s” hoops, we moved forward. Only later after driving several miles down the road did I think of the perfect reply. The next time (and there will be a next time) we’re asked to wiggle through silly bureaucratic hoops, when they are finished with their requests, I am going to respond kindly with the following:
You really meant to say: “Welcome Home and Thank You for Your Service.”
I must admit it will be a bit amusing to see the reaction.
Memorial Day is a time to give recognition and say a prayer of gratitude for all who have paid the supreme sacrifice for serving their country. We should never forget.
All our military personnel and veterans are our quiet role models and noble heroes.
These deserve our respect.
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE.
Nov
28
THE JOY CHALLENGE
Filed Under Christmas, Combat PTSD, Family, Joy Challenge, Peace, Tears of a Warrior | Comments Off on THE JOY CHALLENGE
by Janet & Tony Seahorn
It is a bit sad to think of celebrations as a “thing” to “get through”.
Unfortunately, for many people suffering from trauma and loss, that is precisely the case. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends. Dinner was scrumptious with tasty fares of turkey, dressing, creamy mashed potatoes, and several great desserts. Laughter was abundant.
Yet, for Tony, the noise, the larger number of people – it was only nine of us total – found it still an effort to make it through the day. After dinner, when we all were playing games, he retired to a quieter room to watch football and relax. Our sons would go down to chat, but it wasn’t the same as having him join us in the fun. After everyone left, Tony felt the familiar pangs of sadness and guilt. He wanted so much to spend more time with everyone, but simply could not manage it. Trauma squeezes an excessive sum of happiness from folks. It is the thief who continually keeps on taking and taking and taking. Unlike the Grinch who stole Christmas, this silent bandit never gives anything back.
It is heartbreaking to watch the joy of this beautiful season being weakened by suffering. Therefore, I am sending forth a challenge to each of our readers; a challenge that may take some real effort each day. This may be a test that will demand some thought and determination if it is to be successful. But most of all, this challenge will only be taken on by those who really do want extra joy in their coming days.
For most us when we are feeling a bit down we have to put forth special attempts to look for the joy around us. At other times, usually when things appear to be quite desperate, we will have to create joy. Normally, the only way we are successful in creating joy is do something joyful for someone else.
To begin this challenge, make a list of things that make you happy, a clumsy puppy, your mates smile, a quiet walk along your favorite path… Whatever it is write it down, then paste a copy on your refrigerator and your bathroom mirror – for obvious reasonsJ
Now, for the next four weeks take time each day to achieve at least ONE thing on your list. If you are absent minded like me, put a mark on the calendar that you made your JOY commitment for the day. Look around carefully, where do you notice someone in need of assistance? Perhaps this is your chance to CREATE joy, doing something for someone else. Taking an action that may take a bit of a burden from a family or person in need. Golly, these are acts that a Grinch would detest, because bandits can’t steal what is being given from the heart.
Finally, and I very much hope Tony and I hear from many of you, sometime before Christmas send us a short message to let us know if this challenge made your holiday season a bit better this year.
If you did perform an “act of kindness”, we would love to hear about that too. In our Christmas week blog we will be a sharing the messages we receive. Do something special this season, take this Joy Challenge.
In doing so, remember this quote by Charles D. Gill,
“Believe that you make a difference. There are many wonderful things that will never be done if you do not do them”.
We wish you twenty-five days of amazing goodness. May this season bring you the joy you so richly deserve.
Seasons Greetings
Nov
2
THE EYES OF TRAUMA
Filed Under Civilian life, Combat PTSD, Life, Tears of a Warrior, Trauma, War, Wisdom | Comments Off on THE EYES OF TRAUMA
A face conceals many things through silent smiles and quiet words. Yet eyes speak silence louder, clearer than any verbal language. The mouth can easily fake joy, and talk can be nothing more than convincing noise. But the eyes, the eyes can’t fake unfelt laughter or peace. The eyes tell their own story. A story that sometimes screams of sadness; a story that carries the pain of guilt and desperation; a story burdened by trauma inflicted by war, abuse, or neglect.
Perhaps this is why few people are strong enough to stare into another’s eyes without looking away. When doing so we are really checking for evidence that what is said matches what is unsaid. Only eyes can confirm such a truth. We listen more fully, not just with our ears, but with our eyes. Deep listening is what many psychologists such as Daniel Siegel refer to as “feeling felt”. Feeling Felt tells the story teller that he/she matters. That his/her experiences are valued and honored.
Why would I write a blog about eyes? Simple, many, many beings are walking through our world with silent screams. No one seems to notice or take time to pay attention. Few things in life are harder for a human being to sustain than being invisible to others. Homeless people understand, abused children understand, and traumatized vets understand.
Next time you see someone whom you suspect may need to be seen, be brave enough and care enough to listen to what the eyes are saying. It is a humbling tribute that a person has placed his/her trust in your willingness to be with them, even for only a small amount of time.
Oct
29
The Grim Reaper: TBI Can Be a Spooky Demon
Filed Under Brain Injury, Trauma | Comments Off on The Grim Reaper: TBI Can Be a Spooky Demon
by Janet J. Seahorn
Several weeks ago I talked about going to a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) conference and promised I’d write more about what I learned. Now I feel like the Grim Reaper explaining the various causes and symptoms of a TBI.
Luckily, being Halloween, perhaps the trick is dealing aggressively with the spooks of TBI injuries and the treat is getting better with focus and determination.
Much of this information is taking from a brochure, Brain Injury: How to Recognize and Treat It, by Harvey Jacobs, Ph.D. and Flora Hammond, M.D.
So let’s talk about some of the “tricks” of a TBI. First, it can be due to many causes: falls, car accidents, sports, blasts/explosions, strokes, viruses, or aneurysms (weak spots in the walls of the brain’s arteries and veins).
Since many of our war vets have experienced a TBI mainly from an outside force, I will concentrate on this area. If the force is powerful enough, it can cause bleeding in the brain, bruising, and/or tearing of the brain cells.
“Once a traumatic brain injury occurs,” according to the experts, “there is risk of additional damage over the next several days due to lack of oxygen or reduced blood flow or medical complications”. When a blast occurs due to an IED or other combat offenses, the shock waves move through the brain and injure the soft brain tissue causing cell damage. The person doesn’t have to be unconscious to encounter a TBI, but the results can be quite damaging, nevertheless.
Another trick of this demon is that no two injuries are exactly alike due to the location, size, and impact of the TBI; cells can begin to die within four minutes of losing oxygen because of the impact. Sometimes, if the injury does not appear severe or life threatening it can be missed, yet the results are nothing short of problematic.
The person,” according to Jacobs and Hammond, “may appear dazed or just a little confused for a brief time and then return to work or usual activities. Problems may develop later.” Often times other people notice the problems first, like a spouse, close friend, or employer. What they may notice is problems in the person’s short-term memory, difficulty in organizing and planning, shorter attention span or easily distracted, unclear speech, irritation, anxiety, depression, and other cognitive or emotional behaviors that weren’t present before the injury. Therefore, getting proper diagnosis and treatment is essential to restoring an individual to health and normal activity.
This Grim Reaper can’t leave you with such a dismal TBI spook, so take heart and recognize that help is available. There are more effective and innovative treatments than ever before if treatment begins immediately. Time is crucial. Don’t wait. The major part of the brain’s mending normally takes place within the first two years of the injury, but the brain can continue to mend far beyond that time.
Trust me, having experienced a mild TBI many years ago, I kept engaged with as many cognitive and physical activities as possible and this made all the difference with being able to return to a normal life – the best treat ever.
Oct
22
Here’s to the Heros: A Military Tribute
Filed Under American Patriotism | Comments Off on Here’s to the Heros: A Military Tribute
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL-0mdEg0U4
May
12
National Veterans Awareness Ride
Filed Under American Patriotism | 2 Comments
On May 15, Tony & Jan were asked to be the guest speakers at the National Veterans Awareness Ride as the participants visit the VA Hospital in Cheyenne. The ride begins in California and culminates in Washington DC on Memorial Day in remembrance of all MIAs, POWs, and Veterans who have served their country. Following is a poem that Jan wrote and dedicated to the riders of the special occasion:
Angels of Steel
The angels cry when warriors die,
In distant lands where troubles lie.
Where sadness grows with each new day
and sorrow is not far away.
We fly on planes to reach this place
where death abides within its space.
There is no choice where I may fight
I only trust that it be right.
Each day I wake and say a prayer
to keep us safe and in God’s care.
Yet, knowing well some will not live
and others may not soon forgive.
The wop, wop, wop of copter blades
will drop their cargo, then they fade.
Into the distant sky they fly
with lifeless bags inside do lie.
Like steel angels from above
they bring supplies, our families’ love.
And carry wounded from the field
to places where they may be healed.
So many lost, did not return,
Their final end we’ve never learned.
For years we looked without success,
perhaps today they are at rest.
The scars remain within my soul
that haunts my mind and leaves a hole.
Where once the innocence of youth
was buried by the wrath of Zeus.
The bloody battles the heart must bear,
the mind cannot forget the terror.
But life goes on and must exist
for strength and honor to persist.
Across our country warriors ride
on bikes of steel with humbled pride,
To honor those who gave so much
and not forget the world they’ve touched.
The flag of glory they carry high
Through miles and miles of endless sky,
Reminding all of freedom’s costs,
this hallowed message must not be lost.
And angels cry when warriors die,
In distant lands where troubles lie.
They hold the hope that peace will be
through freedom and democracy.
Janet J. Seahorn, PhD.