Apr

26

Reflecting on a Comment

Filed Under Treating PTSD | 1 Comment

soldier-tears-gettyBefore I begin this blog I want to sincerely thank all of you who are following our book and providing feedback. I am well aware of the time it takes to stay aligned with a variety of online communication. It is humbling to know that individuals and families are finding our website helpful, and we are truly grateful for your comments.

Michelle Rosenthal, a reader of our April 15th blog, commented that she liked the last line:

“If we send them, then we must mend them.” 

This has been our motto and theme throughout the book and certainly needs to be fully endorsed by our military, our country, our leaders, and our communities.  What was thoughtful about Michelle’s comment was her last line where she asked, “How do we mend them in a way that does not inappropriately bend them?”  And that, Michelle, is a billion dollar question – one for which I do not have a tangible response.  Yet, I can say this, the solution lies in making a difference – one individual at a time. Healing does not fit every military experience or veteran the same.  There are far too many variables. However, a few constants will be required: relentless determination to getting better, standing up and trying again even when staying down seems much easier, support from a variety of people (family, friends, the VA…), and most of all a deep feeling of being loved and worthy of love, when at times we feel quite alone.

For those of us living with someone suffering from PTSD, love does not mean accepting or condoning inappropriate behavior from either person. It means putting proper boundaries on our actions, without battering each other.  It means that we love and trust each other enough to know that we can get better and want to get better.  It means we believe the relationship is worth the effort, the pain, and frustration as long as there is progress toward emotional healing.  And in the end, the mending will more than likely require a bit of bending.  Perhaps it is only through the “bending” that genuine healing can take place.  The key word in Michelle’s comment was “appropriate” bending.  In a heavy wind a tree bends – that is a good thing.  I’m simply trusting that the tree will sustain the storm because its roots are deep and firmly grounded in an earth that holds tightly to its foundation.  Hopefully, if our spiritual and emotional roots are deep and far reaching, perhaps we can and will sustain the storm within.  Nothing is impossible.